in the right heaven-yellow light, anything could be
holy enough to save you
She’s beginning to suspect that she might not ever get the stone, but she isn’t prepared for the loaded questions that Amalia gives her. The Shield or Safrin was certainly helping her daughter live a far better life than the Penumbra could have offered, and for that she’s thankful. But there’s a part of her that finds Amalia to be naive, as though she could prevent casualties everywhere. And while it was a noble thing to want to do, there’s no possible way that it could happen. There’d never be peace, in the end. And so she answers as honestly as she can. “If we had known about the portal in the Spire, I would have not dared to get near the Mathair.” And it’s true, they hadn’t known there was an option in their backyard. They had been summoned to help, and with their help they’d destroyed. Like always, like usual.
Her head lowers slightly in her vulnerability, unable to see but able to hear tremendously well, she wonders if she’ll hear Amalia’s padded feet leave her along the stone and rockery. “I want no hand in causing death, Amalia. And I regret what happened at the Mathair. But there’s nothing we can do about it now, is there? We can’t apologize. We can’t turn back time with the knowledge we have now?”
Only does she pause when Amalia’s next set of words hit her, her lips forming a line of a frown. “No.” Kiada’s life isn’t worth it. The Voice isn’t worth it if they leave destruction in their wake. But what choice does she have? The portal is open. The Ascended have been there, and there’s been no signs of the blight. “I was not Ascended when the blight spread. I didn’t… Connect it to us. I helped Phoebe by offering a sample of our fluid to better understand it.” She explains, still frowning. “All I want is to give my friends, family and the people of the Hollowed Grounds, the world. But it’s not worth it in the end if there’s nothing left, is it?” Her head lifts toward Amalia.
REXANNA
