"Self important? You?" she asked, chuckling at the man who had introduced himself with a fucking bow. "I'll be vigilant then, because I the want the excuse to poke you," she added, still grinning. Ingrid wasn't usually quick to make friends, but humor was probably the second fastest way to her heart after free beer.
She listened to Jigano's information on the Ascended with the same expression on her face as a ten-year-old hearing the talk for the first time. "Back up a minute. The bite seems to be enough for them... You know incredibly fucked up that is? It was gross when I thought they saw humans as snacks, but it's so much worse knowing that they see us as snacks." Ingrid shuddered. What being, divine or otherwise, would think it was a good idea to create a race where every member had the same kink?
Gross... moving right along:
"In Halo, it's the wildlife you should worry about. The most common thing you'll see is a huge snow bear that wants to eat you. The giants, evil ice spirits and dragons are different: they're rare beings that want to eat you, and they're better at it! Oh, and did I mention that the temperatures are about as far below freezing as this place's weather is above it? So once you freeze to death, the birds will scavenge off your carcass, and then the hunters will kill and sell the birds, and then Zariah fucking Launceleyn will eat you. In summary, I'd recommend dressing in about an onion's worth of layers," she said. She knew Jigano was a self-important, powerful Provost, but she had recently decided that she liked him and therefore didn't want him to end up like Snowdrift Lady.
"As for trading materials, it's too cold for common crops. We work our way around most of the obstacles Halo throws at us, but some things are just hard to make from animal hide. You can use a fur coat instead of a cotton one, but Jigano, have you ever thought about how hard it would be to use a fur tampon? Sell those and you'd make a fortune."
Ingrid paused for a moment. She felt like she was forgetting something...
"Also, I'd like to apply for the position of official ice-bound hoe in your guild-y thing. I want to come back and poke you again later," she said.
She listened to Jigano's information on the Ascended with the same expression on her face as a ten-year-old hearing the talk for the first time. "Back up a minute. The bite seems to be enough for them... You know incredibly fucked up that is? It was gross when I thought they saw humans as snacks, but it's so much worse knowing that they see us as snacks." Ingrid shuddered. What being, divine or otherwise, would think it was a good idea to create a race where every member had the same kink?
Gross... moving right along:
"In Halo, it's the wildlife you should worry about. The most common thing you'll see is a huge snow bear that wants to eat you. The giants, evil ice spirits and dragons are different: they're rare beings that want to eat you, and they're better at it! Oh, and did I mention that the temperatures are about as far below freezing as this place's weather is above it? So once you freeze to death, the birds will scavenge off your carcass, and then the hunters will kill and sell the birds, and then Zariah fucking Launceleyn will eat you. In summary, I'd recommend dressing in about an onion's worth of layers," she said. She knew Jigano was a self-important, powerful Provost, but she had recently decided that she liked him and therefore didn't want him to end up like Snowdrift Lady.
"As for trading materials, it's too cold for common crops. We work our way around most of the obstacles Halo throws at us, but some things are just hard to make from animal hide. You can use a fur coat instead of a cotton one, but Jigano, have you ever thought about how hard it would be to use a fur tampon? Sell those and you'd make a fortune."
Ingrid paused for a moment. She felt like she was forgetting something...
"Also, I'd like to apply for the position of official ice-bound hoe in your guild-y thing. I want to come back and poke you again later," she said.
