Trying My Best (OPEN)

"What about Abandoned Outlanders? They don't make the choice nor do they deserve to be cast away by the Gods, but they are." Sam retorted, his frustration and upset with having this argument at all making his voice sound horribly whiny, but he was beginning to get annoyed enough at Jigano to just want to yell back his points anyway. "I wish I had never said that. Like everything I say, you take it and twist it and push it back on me so now I have to try and contradict myself." Everything he said next was the same: true in a way, but only with the most uncharitable version of the facts and a determination to see things a certain way. Sam supposed that was what everyone did when trying to make a point, but it still aggravated him. Especially as it made it hard for him to respond, confusion often an issue for him in spoken arguments. He was always far more eloquent on the page. "You can't just assume Rexanna was 'seduced'. She's a very strong woman and makes her own decisions. Maybe Bastien asked her to do it, encouraged her to, but she would not have joined if she did not want to - I have spoken to her since her Ascension. She's sure of what The Voice is doing." When Jigano first referred to other 'portal guardians' that had died Sam felt a jolt of panic, wondering if Remi or Phoebe had died, maybe Amalia; then he realised that he likely meant the Fae guarding the portal. Sam sighed, nodding. He could not really argue that: he disagreed with the easy killing that could occur around The Voice. While he was sometimes able to justify it to himself as a necessary part of the greater good, it still itched at the inside of his skull in the early hours of the morning. He followed Jigano into the building, sitting down by the door and determinedly staring out at the rain rather than at the bard. "I have not lost empathy, Jigano. I've just had to accept who I am. The Old Gods hurt people and have killed many in our history - any book in the Aetheneum could tell you that. It is honestly...rather disturbing to me how easily people side with the majority here, the Old Gods who have thrown their weight around for centuries and controlled how things work, rather than the one Goddess trying to improve matters. No, I am not always comfortable with her methods. I do not ever want blood on my hands and for the moment there is not any - I was hoping to succeed at the Mathair without any death. But what do I do now that there has been? Leave because what could be one of the most important discoveries of our age has gotten difficult?" Sighing he rubbed the back of his neck, unsure if any of his words would ever reach Jigano. "If you really think the advantage of more connection, of trade, culture and travel...is only 'convenience', then I don't know what to tell you about that." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child