Trying My Best (OPEN)

If only Sam could read Jigano's thoughts, he could have corrected him so easily; that he had not had enough to live for for years, that he had held a blade in his hands loosely, stared at it and considered, for almost his whole life; that it had less to do with The Voice coming into to his life and more to do with new confidence coming from friendships, from life lived, from love felt...that he still dipped into it sometimes. That his friendships had nothing to do with his will to continue his life. "Don't you see we're going to have to fight each other?" He asked, voice so desperate to be understood it broke a little in the middle. "How can I tell you I'll be your friend then work against you? It's dishonest and I can't do it to you. I care too much about you." Sam pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes and sighed, standing up on wobbly feet and looking out of the door to see the progress of the storm. Rumbling down a bit, he thought. "I don't want you to think any of this is to do with my not liking you or the guild. It's...perfect, for me, really. I just wish I could spend all my time there, but I have...obligations, now, that I want to fulfil." Sam rubbed at his arms. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child