Loneliness... is such a sad affair
and I can hardly wait
It put some things in real perspective, to see the reactions Adam had whenever he added a new detail, a fresh horror. Peter had never really put too much thought into his past, entirely on purpose. The less he thought about it, the less bad it was, the less it could affect him. Nevermind the fact that his past was beaten in every inch of his skin, that it hung over every move he made like a noxious cloud. Adam broke through every wall of denial he had, making something shatter in Pet's chest. The apology just made everything worse, caught it all up to him in a sudden hot prickling in the backs of his eyes, the feeling of years of unshed tears finally trying to escape, breaking past the crumbling dam. He shook his head, almost confused about the reaction he was having, and took a breath, trying to hold himself together.
Adam pulled him close, and the sting, the crack, finally reached it's tipping point, tears flooding from Pet's eyes in a hot, silent flood. How many times had he cried now today, for how many reasons? His arms wrap around Adam, holding him like something precious, something that might be taken from him if he lets go, his fingers scrabbling to hold onto something. He pressed his face into the crook of Adam's neck and lets everything he can out. There's no sound that comes from him, which seems to only make the whole experience more painful, like he's choking on it.
Pet's lack of air makes it hard to try and respond, but he nods, desperately, trying to agree, trying to voice everything he wants to say. Everything the promise means to him, being the first one he's knows won't be broken.
to be with you again
PETER
