sounds like hallelujah

ALISTAIR "It takes a daft hand to steal coin, much less when a man is his most vulnerable..." Alistair chuckled more genuinely this time, pleased when he saw Rexanna take in his handiwork. "Typical fairy tale life I suppose Orphaned child left at a door step, little did he know his life would hold a deeper, greater purpose..." a mock hushed whisper given before Alistair smirked and shrugged. "I was fortunate, one of the few in my position to find a home, a family. His name was Ishmal...an elderly man but, so full of life and wisdom...I can only assume he is still swimming in vast volumes of books in some sort of organized chaos..." he laughed at the thought he knew would be an accurate assessment. "He gave me everything really...gave me a chance to make something of myself. Before arriving here I worked as a farmer and scribe, one of the few that held such an education...but I always felt most at home on fields such as this..." Alistair took a breath and picked at the grass once again. "Fell in love...it was complicated from the very beginning...perhaps I was a fool to pursue...she too was haunted by the ghosts of her past except hers caught up to her. She was so broken...and for the smallest periods it felt like I was able to salvage what was there, you know? Salvage what good was left in her...she married me...and for a blink of a moment she was happy..." His voice trailed briefly before he continued. "However, I came to the harsh reality that there are some things beyond saving...she just...gave up. On herself, on us...on everything. She had grown so used to her misery, she just couldn't part from it...even at the cost of a man who gave her everything he had." Alistair paused thoughtfully. "I thought many times, since that day, if I failed her somehow you know? If I could have done anything differently...I just...I had nothing. I guess that's the most troubling thing...now I'm here, attempting to gather the pieces of who I am." Alistair turned his eyes to Rexanna and pushed himself up, offering her his hand to take. "I've got a camp, just past the hills over there. Homes are difficult to come by...sort of enjoying the freedom given to me though." Stubbled lips pursed into a smirk as he made a motion with his head to follow. "I had planned to cook...if you have no other obligations...you're welcome to join...to eat that is...food..." Crimson found his face once again as he cleared his throat. "...this...sounded much better when rehearsed in my head." He attempted to assure Rexanna with a faint, slightly embarrassed grin.