Where do I go from here?

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." Maea nodded slowly. A few strands of milky hair drifted down to hang before her eyes, but she made no move to push them away as she regarded the woman. Perhaps she ought to behave differently, sitting in front of a ruler, she thought absently. Use some kind of formal speech, courtsy and be polite. But royalty or governers had always been a foreign concept in the Grounds. The stuff of legends and stories, something you'd read about in books and laugh at, because wasn't it silly how those people couldn't made decisions for themselves? Yet still Maea had tried to become one such leader, and here was another, more successful version. And she recalled the person who'd come to the Loreseekers looking for answers. And that other time when they'd played with magic together, and laughed. Did a title make anything different? Maea didn't think so. In the end, the only thing that made Rexanna successful at the job where she had not been, was the approval of the people around them. Or the lack thereof. She sighed. "I'm sure you're doing a good job, or they would have replaced you by now" she remarked. "Even with things like the blight. Or perhaps because of it. Maybe it was fine for everyone to take care of themselves before the barrier came down, but now... the world has suddenly become so much bigger than it was. Now there's all this freedom, and... I don't even know what to do with it." Reaching a hand for the glass, she made a stirring motion with a finger in the air above it. The liquid began to slowly turn about the container, in lazy circles. It mirrored Maea's thoughts, the way it went round and round without getting anywhere. She looked away and tucked her hands under the shawl; watching it had made her nauseous.