It was, and for the first time Maea could honestly say she wished herself back to the old, boring days. Before monsters, before blood, before death and tragedy... But then she remembered that there had been heartache and sorrows before a firebird had landed and made her world into a story. It had only been a different kind of struggles. Back then, she'd had her brother to share them with, and now... She regarded Jigano. He still reminded her of Noah. Not in looks, no, or manners, but in the way he cared about people. The genuine concern, the tendency to put others before himself and take so much weight upon himself that he'd crumble at any moment. Her brother would have laughed, and perhaps shared some of the worries with her, but let her carry the burden? Oh no, he wouldn't have dreamed of it. Not even when it was what she really wanted, and craved. To be needed.
"Yes, well. I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, so don't you start worry that I'll disappear on you again." Her grin was soft, almost playful; it would have been easy to to promise the world in that moment, and she nearly did.
But the cconversation turned to darker matters, to open wounds and broken bodies, and her smile faded when Jigano told her of Amalia. It was the first she'd heard of the childhood friend being injured; the carnage at the Fiat Lux and the disaster of the Temple falling had reached her already even out in the Fields, but this? Something tightened in her chest, genuine worry blooming for a girl that had been a friend - or almost a friend - for as long as Maea could remember. For a moment, she remembered none of the bitterness or the sorrow, just a laughing child running under a golden sun. Her hand tightened its grip on Jigano's. Swallowing hard, she nodded, distant, trying to remember everything she'd ever been taught of healing, of magic, of the power of the gods - there had to be a way to fix it, had to! - and then...
Then she sighed. Let go of his hand, and pulled the shawl tighter about her shoulders as she looked out over the field. Forced herself to actually look and see the mess. The blood. The crushed dreams and shattered hopes that lay strewn around them.
"I always loved her, you know" Maea said, after a while. Her voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper. "Did I tell you that we grew up together? I was sick often, and her mother was a healer. She used to sit with me when I was ill, and Amalia would come along when there was no one else to look after her. She brought Evie along for company... I watched them play from the window, while I was stuck in bed."
It had been a mixed joy, to see them. Two laughing girls, sometimes joined by Rory and Noah. They had been beautiful, cheerful... and terribly distant. Something to long for, and envy at the same time.
"I liked Amalia, wanted to be her friend too. But... I think she resented me taking so much time from her mom. Or maybe she just didn't like me as much, I don't know. Evie really didn't like me, at any rate, so maybe it just.. rubbed off. As we grew older..." Maea shrugged, helplessly. They'd had a lot of things in common. Love of the gods, hopes, dreams. To read through all the books in the Aetheneum, to go on adventures, make the barrier fall and then..! The world beyond. Except, all of that came to Amalia, and not herself.
"It's really hard to be around people and see them succeed where you don't. I really try not to hold it against her, but sometimes... Still, I really don't want this for her, you know? To be so hurt. To maybe never walk again."
She shrugged, helplessly. Half apologetic, not knowing why she was saying all of this, except it was burning the back of her throat and she wanted it out, now, before she choked on it.
"Yes, well. I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, so don't you start worry that I'll disappear on you again." Her grin was soft, almost playful; it would have been easy to to promise the world in that moment, and she nearly did.
But the cconversation turned to darker matters, to open wounds and broken bodies, and her smile faded when Jigano told her of Amalia. It was the first she'd heard of the childhood friend being injured; the carnage at the Fiat Lux and the disaster of the Temple falling had reached her already even out in the Fields, but this? Something tightened in her chest, genuine worry blooming for a girl that had been a friend - or almost a friend - for as long as Maea could remember. For a moment, she remembered none of the bitterness or the sorrow, just a laughing child running under a golden sun. Her hand tightened its grip on Jigano's. Swallowing hard, she nodded, distant, trying to remember everything she'd ever been taught of healing, of magic, of the power of the gods - there had to be a way to fix it, had to! - and then...
Then she sighed. Let go of his hand, and pulled the shawl tighter about her shoulders as she looked out over the field. Forced herself to actually look and see the mess. The blood. The crushed dreams and shattered hopes that lay strewn around them.
"I always loved her, you know" Maea said, after a while. Her voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper. "Did I tell you that we grew up together? I was sick often, and her mother was a healer. She used to sit with me when I was ill, and Amalia would come along when there was no one else to look after her. She brought Evie along for company... I watched them play from the window, while I was stuck in bed."
It had been a mixed joy, to see them. Two laughing girls, sometimes joined by Rory and Noah. They had been beautiful, cheerful... and terribly distant. Something to long for, and envy at the same time.
"I liked Amalia, wanted to be her friend too. But... I think she resented me taking so much time from her mom. Or maybe she just didn't like me as much, I don't know. Evie really didn't like me, at any rate, so maybe it just.. rubbed off. As we grew older..." Maea shrugged, helplessly. They'd had a lot of things in common. Love of the gods, hopes, dreams. To read through all the books in the Aetheneum, to go on adventures, make the barrier fall and then..! The world beyond. Except, all of that came to Amalia, and not herself.
"It's really hard to be around people and see them succeed where you don't. I really try not to hold it against her, but sometimes... Still, I really don't want this for her, you know? To be so hurt. To maybe never walk again."
She shrugged, helplessly. Half apologetic, not knowing why she was saying all of this, except it was burning the back of her throat and she wanted it out, now, before she choked on it.
