loren
Loren’s response was swift and certain. I’ll return them to the Ascended. And if they choose to give them back to The Voice, that is their prerogative.
At Jigano’s words, something broke. You can’t It burst out of the summoner on a sea of anguish. You can try. But you will fail, just like I did. Like I always do. His wings beat furiously as he refused the emotional and physical support the bard offered, rising and moving away from the white-haired man and the hole in the ice.
The ice that suddenly transported the Launceleyn back to that fateful day. It was my ice that killed Aoife. That killed Phoebe’s nephews. That almost killed Remi, and drove Ronin over the edge. That caused all of this, however inadvertently. Bile roiled in his gut. You didn’t see the look in Remi’s eyes. The hatred. For me. I can't say he was wrong to feel that way.
Still, for a brief moment, fury overtook him. However, it was soon subsumed by sorrow, and a deep seated self-hatred, one that he’d never known how to reckon with. Which was why he tried to bottle it up before eventually failing, leading him to lash out. But now it spilled through their bond and he couldn’t control it, though at least it was directed inward.
They were my friends, once upon a time. And now they’re gone, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see them again, or if it would even be good to see them again at this point. After everything I did. After everything they’ve lost. I wouldn’t want to see me, if I were them. He started to lose altitude. I know I fucked everything up when I got sick, and I made a mess of things when I returned. And I can’t even imagine their grief right now, if they still live. But I’m trying, just like you. I’m trying so hard to do the right thing, to be there for other people, to be what they need me to be. He started flying blindly, uncaring where he went, just needing to escape.
All my life I’ve tried. To be strong enough, to be smart enough, to be brave enough, to be powerful enough. To be...enough. Enough to protect what I hold dear. To do what I thought needed to be done. Despair overtook him, still steering him without direction over the ice. And everything in my life, in the three worlds I've been in, every single thing that matters has taught me that I'm never going to be enough.
He fell silent for a long time. So maybe it's time to stop trying. The emotions had been bottled up again, safely stored behind the mask he knew better than his real face, his real skin, his real self. His flight path straightened, though he was now headed back to the mountains, towards the portal that would lead them home.
If it could ever be properly thought of as his home again.
At Jigano’s words, something broke. You can’t It burst out of the summoner on a sea of anguish. You can try. But you will fail, just like I did. Like I always do. His wings beat furiously as he refused the emotional and physical support the bard offered, rising and moving away from the white-haired man and the hole in the ice.
The ice that suddenly transported the Launceleyn back to that fateful day. It was my ice that killed Aoife. That killed Phoebe’s nephews. That almost killed Remi, and drove Ronin over the edge. That caused all of this, however inadvertently. Bile roiled in his gut. You didn’t see the look in Remi’s eyes. The hatred. For me. I can't say he was wrong to feel that way.
Still, for a brief moment, fury overtook him. However, it was soon subsumed by sorrow, and a deep seated self-hatred, one that he’d never known how to reckon with. Which was why he tried to bottle it up before eventually failing, leading him to lash out. But now it spilled through their bond and he couldn’t control it, though at least it was directed inward.
They were my friends, once upon a time. And now they’re gone, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see them again, or if it would even be good to see them again at this point. After everything I did. After everything they’ve lost. I wouldn’t want to see me, if I were them. He started to lose altitude. I know I fucked everything up when I got sick, and I made a mess of things when I returned. And I can’t even imagine their grief right now, if they still live. But I’m trying, just like you. I’m trying so hard to do the right thing, to be there for other people, to be what they need me to be. He started flying blindly, uncaring where he went, just needing to escape.
All my life I’ve tried. To be strong enough, to be smart enough, to be brave enough, to be powerful enough. To be...enough. Enough to protect what I hold dear. To do what I thought needed to be done. Despair overtook him, still steering him without direction over the ice. And everything in my life, in the three worlds I've been in, every single thing that matters has taught me that I'm never going to be enough.
He fell silent for a long time. So maybe it's time to stop trying. The emotions had been bottled up again, safely stored behind the mask he knew better than his real face, his real skin, his real self. His flight path straightened, though he was now headed back to the mountains, towards the portal that would lead them home.
If it could ever be properly thought of as his home again.
Never judge a book by its cover.
