loren
Loren’s thoughts, already dark, grew sadder. Not really. Oh sure, they admire me, yes, and are grateful, but we’re not close. At least, they don’t...they don’t know me. And I don't really know them. There was a great deal of sorrow behind that admission.
At Jigano's atempt at reassurance, the summoner's mind slid back into despairing fury. And what if they do come back? What then? More awkward conversations with Remi, who says he wants to move on and be friends but seems incapable of it without it causing him harm? More resentment and judgment from Ronin because he seems to think that I'm some sort of monster for disappearing and coming back? More twisting myself into knots because I'm making an effort to try and be there for other people when they don't seem to want me there and are not really there for me? The words grew more and more exhausted as he went on.
Again, that weird calm held for a few moments longer. Nothing. I'd do nothing. No fighting, no constantly worrying about everyone and everything, no throwing myself into places and situations I have no right being in. Just...nothing.
At Jigano's atempt at reassurance, the summoner's mind slid back into despairing fury. And what if they do come back? What then? More awkward conversations with Remi, who says he wants to move on and be friends but seems incapable of it without it causing him harm? More resentment and judgment from Ronin because he seems to think that I'm some sort of monster for disappearing and coming back? More twisting myself into knots because I'm making an effort to try and be there for other people when they don't seem to want me there and are not really there for me? The words grew more and more exhausted as he went on.
Again, that weird calm held for a few moments longer. Nothing. I'd do nothing. No fighting, no constantly worrying about everyone and everything, no throwing myself into places and situations I have no right being in. Just...nothing.
Never judge a book by its cover.
