She wasn't in the mood to be encouraged, but he gave a slight shake of his head, his smile rueful. "Just as you have pointed out that I am not responsible for you or your actions when you've chosen to help me, Ama, you aren't responsible for Safrin's choice. Nor is Deimos or Kiada or Ronin. Only Safrin is." He looked at her bland smile and his heart ached for what he saw there, and it was his turn to twist the sheet in his fingers. "And I have needed you a great deal. Not just because of your own strengths and skills and curiosity, but because you are important to me. There is no one else who could have been there for me when I fell apart, no one else I could rely on the way I've relied on you. And even if someone could have done any of that better? I'd still rather have had you with me, and I don't... I don't want to lose that," he finished quietly.
His answer was not, perhaps, what she wanted to hear, but it was the truth. They had hurt each other, each in their own ways, by accident or negligence at one time or another, and it was a cycle he desperately wished to stop. Still, her next words silenced him for a time as he watched her face, gaze flickering briefly to the ceiling to see what she saw there. There was a sadness in her that he couldn't reach, a broken heart that was beyond any mortal magic to heal. "Is there nothing here you want to live for?" he asked softly at last. "Anyone or anything that makes you happy here?"
His answer was not, perhaps, what she wanted to hear, but it was the truth. They had hurt each other, each in their own ways, by accident or negligence at one time or another, and it was a cycle he desperately wished to stop. Still, her next words silenced him for a time as he watched her face, gaze flickering briefly to the ceiling to see what she saw there. There was a sadness in her that he couldn't reach, a broken heart that was beyond any mortal magic to heal. "Is there nothing here you want to live for?" he asked softly at last. "Anyone or anything that makes you happy here?"
