MAEA
He was nothing if not stubborn. All the arguments seemed well practiced, chewed to pulp and regurgitated, only to then be swallowed again for more. While the words were different Maea ached with the familiarity of it. The bitterness, the helpless frustration, the inability to take control over what mattered most. It echoed the same litany she chewed in her own mind; abandoned, unworthy, weak, in need of change and oh, why did others receive what she always dreamed of while she got nothing?
In the end, it was self destructive. Through the help of others, patient mentors and friends she was slowly starting to untangle the knotted threads her thoughts had become. But Sunjata seemed to reject even the idea of accepting help, of changing his thoughts. Determined to crash and burn, his clenched jaw was one of a man staring into the void, only waiting for the right moment to destroy himself. And the sight of it made her ache. A stranger he might be still, but there was something very vulnerable about the things he said, because of the honesty. No doubt she would be able to take his words, twist them and send them back in needling barbs to prove that he was wrong, it did not have to be this way.
But what good would that do? He was already in pain, and she had no desire to make it worse.
"No, sweet, it's not wrong," she soothed, drifting closer again. Unconsciously adopting Ludo's monikers as she addressed him, she made to touch his cheek with too pale fingers, cold from the everflowing river. She sought his gaze, a sad little smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I'm sorry you've ended up like this... and that you have seen so little kindness from this world. I wish I could tell you that it will get better... but in the end I think you're the only one who can decide what makes you happy."
Maybe it would be Phoebe in the end. Perhaps they would split again, and he'd find the answer he sought elsewhere. Perhaps it was a divide that ran too deep to ever truly be resolved - it seemed likely, if her friend was half as stubborn as her husband was proving to be. All Maea knew was that she did not wish to become the tool that would divide them in the end. Both for Phoebe's sake, but also for her own. While she didn't say anything, the idea that this - his jesting, the flirtations, what he made her feel - was only a way for him to prove how wrong he was for another, hurt her deeply. The first man to ever look at her like she was more than a piece of furniture... and it was all a great jest in the end.
In the end, it was self destructive. Through the help of others, patient mentors and friends she was slowly starting to untangle the knotted threads her thoughts had become. But Sunjata seemed to reject even the idea of accepting help, of changing his thoughts. Determined to crash and burn, his clenched jaw was one of a man staring into the void, only waiting for the right moment to destroy himself. And the sight of it made her ache. A stranger he might be still, but there was something very vulnerable about the things he said, because of the honesty. No doubt she would be able to take his words, twist them and send them back in needling barbs to prove that he was wrong, it did not have to be this way.
But what good would that do? He was already in pain, and she had no desire to make it worse.
"No, sweet, it's not wrong," she soothed, drifting closer again. Unconsciously adopting Ludo's monikers as she addressed him, she made to touch his cheek with too pale fingers, cold from the everflowing river. She sought his gaze, a sad little smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I'm sorry you've ended up like this... and that you have seen so little kindness from this world. I wish I could tell you that it will get better... but in the end I think you're the only one who can decide what makes you happy."
Maybe it would be Phoebe in the end. Perhaps they would split again, and he'd find the answer he sought elsewhere. Perhaps it was a divide that ran too deep to ever truly be resolved - it seemed likely, if her friend was half as stubborn as her husband was proving to be. All Maea knew was that she did not wish to become the tool that would divide them in the end. Both for Phoebe's sake, but also for her own. While she didn't say anything, the idea that this - his jesting, the flirtations, what he made her feel - was only a way for him to prove how wrong he was for another, hurt her deeply. The first man to ever look at her like she was more than a piece of furniture... and it was all a great jest in the end.
