and if you want, i could tell you the truth
that this life takes a toll on you. i spend nights
No, she can’t trust him – he’d taken it and broken it careless about the consequences for it. But they were here, given in the way that she shakes and trembles, and he knows he’s done something harsh and cold and awful. In his frustration, his annoyance with every situation he finds himself in as of late, he finds that he doesn’t care anymore. He’s given up, that no matter which step he takes, it’s wrong and spins him in an endless circle that dives toward that self-destruction further and further.
She had wanted to trust him, and here he was a liar, a devil seducing with sweet lies. Perhaps he is the monster he’s heard of himself as, the fangs and claws and horns. Perhaps he deserved whatever comes for him in the night. Perhaps he deserves all of it, to be pushed under the currents of the water until he drowned with the rest of the sins he’s committed. So he just stares at her, watching her with his jaw set tight, bow slung over his shoulder, a huff of a sigh parting his lips. “You shouldn’t have.” Because he couldn’t even trust himself – promising Hotaru he’d stay away from Phoebe, agreeing that it was better that way.
To marrying her a few short weeks later.
And all he can do is blame it on himself, on the weaknesses that he leans on, the crutches he had, when Lusea’s last words to him had been exactly the opposite of what he’s doing. So he bricks himself up with steel and sharpened weapons, cool mask crossing over his face, shutting her out and shutting everything out. And when Maea asks him, for a second time, what he wants. Well, the monster within him writhes and lashes out with the warring within him, the weak versus the strong, and he reverts back to the man he was after his trial, shut out and quiet, a silent monster of plotting with the blood on his hands, and he turns slightly away from her.
“It doesn’t matter what I want.” And it doesn’t, because the minute he explains what he wants, it’s as if Caido can hear it and takes it in its clutches, crushing it to ash and dust in its wake to surround him and mock him. And so he chooses to not want, to try and flow, to shift and adapt, but he’s drowning in an endless sea with no land in sight, an anchor forgotten at the bottom of the sea, turned to ice and rusted beyond recognition. And when he glances back to her there’s nothing but cold, dark seas, vast and empty in his eyes.
She had wanted to trust him, and here he was a liar, a devil seducing with sweet lies. Perhaps he is the monster he’s heard of himself as, the fangs and claws and horns. Perhaps he deserved whatever comes for him in the night. Perhaps he deserves all of it, to be pushed under the currents of the water until he drowned with the rest of the sins he’s committed. So he just stares at her, watching her with his jaw set tight, bow slung over his shoulder, a huff of a sigh parting his lips. “You shouldn’t have.” Because he couldn’t even trust himself – promising Hotaru he’d stay away from Phoebe, agreeing that it was better that way.
To marrying her a few short weeks later.
And all he can do is blame it on himself, on the weaknesses that he leans on, the crutches he had, when Lusea’s last words to him had been exactly the opposite of what he’s doing. So he bricks himself up with steel and sharpened weapons, cool mask crossing over his face, shutting her out and shutting everything out. And when Maea asks him, for a second time, what he wants. Well, the monster within him writhes and lashes out with the warring within him, the weak versus the strong, and he reverts back to the man he was after his trial, shut out and quiet, a silent monster of plotting with the blood on his hands, and he turns slightly away from her.
“It doesn’t matter what I want.” And it doesn’t, because the minute he explains what he wants, it’s as if Caido can hear it and takes it in its clutches, crushing it to ash and dust in its wake to surround him and mock him. And so he chooses to not want, to try and flow, to shift and adapt, but he’s drowning in an endless sea with no land in sight, an anchor forgotten at the bottom of the sea, turned to ice and rusted beyond recognition. And when he glances back to her there’s nothing but cold, dark seas, vast and empty in his eyes.
stitching up the loose threads of my soul
so in the morning i'm bullet proof
SuNJATA
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent and has a passive magic that makes him produce a subtle scent that matches exactly to whatever those around him most desire him to smell like.
