I was going, Mother, to pick roses, to find death

MaeA Maea sat stunned. Blanching at the depth of the ultimatum Jigano was forcing on her, reeling under the weight of his words. The implication that she had not worked hard enough to try and catch up to what she had missed in her year of absence. That she was impatient, and greedy. All the things she resented being accused of, hated because of what it meant for her as Abandoned. Why was it that when she stood up to try and do something, all everyone ever saw was the things that went wrong? All Maea wanted to do was help, in the end. With her old governing attempt, with this... she'd seen something she thought of as a problem, and tried to act to fixing it. And now, it landed her in a position where she would have to choose? Between a guild that meant everything to her, and the possiblitiy of becoming... what? There was no answer for her. She didn't know what to say. Something very painful was going on inside her, and with utter disregard for secrets that perhaps ought to be kept, her hand searched for Sunjata's, cold fingers pleading to know he was still there, still hadn't left. She didn't even care if Jigano saw, and interpreted it in his own ways. She needed time, to think. To understand what was happening here. Was she... really so sure about this that she would leave her guild? Leave behind everything she had worked for, all she'd sacrificed for? Maea had no answer. you're so cold, but you feel alive.