HARPER
Harper hums softly in acknowledgement, no matter how depressed her words may be he won't let her think he's not listening. "Maybe not, but like I said, I care. I want to know." Even if it doesn't matter to her, even if she thinks it's not worth bothering about, it's not the same for him. As she turns and lifts her gaze to his he doesn't look away. Holding her hand and still rubbing her back idly as she speaks, keeping his face calm and unaffected as the words fall in a numb torrent from her lips. There is a lot to unpack, a lot that he hasn't known and has to quickly formulate in his mind to be able to respond to them properly, but it's a task he's willing to take on.
And when at last the words slow and stop with her last defeated phrase, he squeezes her hand and sucks in a breath. "It's not your life that's wrong, Phoebe. Everything you've just told me is either a result of living in this place and the inherent dangers it holds, or the actions of another person." Harper turns slightly sideways, lifting his knee back upon the bridge to face her even if she decides to keep staring off into space. "You were incredibly brave to have saved your boyfriend while all of that was happening. And I'm not trying to invalidate your experience, but many women can have higher rates of miscarriages, especially in stressful environments. Their losses aren't your fault either, even if I can't imagine how it felt." He certainly doesn't want to preach to a midwife but he did come from a technologically advanced age, and seeing how those in Caido rely on magic more than medical breakthroughs is definitely at odds with his own education.
One thumb brushes against the back of her hand in repetitive, soothing motions as he speaks. "You can't control someone else's actions. I don't know the whole story so I can't say you're blameless, and every relationship takes work on both sides. But you can't force someone to love you, or to honor a marriage or even a friendship. That doesn't make it your fault. Everyone goes through their own trials, and it can change them and how they act towards those they love, but it doesn't mean you're the one that caused it." How many times in his own life has he pushed people away, been bitter and cruel while he nursed his own wounds? It's an unfortunate reality of the human psyche. And just as unfortunate that blaming oneself is usually the reaction of the scorned and abandoned. "Your life isn't what's wrong. Your life is unique and precious unto itself, and even if nobody is there for you in your darkest hour, the most important thing is to continue living for yourself. For all the people you've helped and the ones who will need you in the future. For every child who does live in the here and now because you were there to make sure they were born healthy. Doesn't that balance the scales? For every life lost, how many have you saved? For every friendship broken, how many have you made, how many persist?" Here he squeezes her hand to emphasize that even if nobody else is there, he is.
"I'm not saying it's easy, or that it will be a breeze to climb upwards from here. But your life isn't what's wrong here. Bad things have happened to you, but they don't make you. There are still good things to live for." A lesson he'd had to learn himself once he'd freed himself of the assassins. He'd been in her exact shoes, wondering if ending his life was a better choice considering the people he'd hurt and the weapon his mind and body still remained. But he had chosen life, chosen happiness. In the end, he hopes she does the same.
And when at last the words slow and stop with her last defeated phrase, he squeezes her hand and sucks in a breath. "It's not your life that's wrong, Phoebe. Everything you've just told me is either a result of living in this place and the inherent dangers it holds, or the actions of another person." Harper turns slightly sideways, lifting his knee back upon the bridge to face her even if she decides to keep staring off into space. "You were incredibly brave to have saved your boyfriend while all of that was happening. And I'm not trying to invalidate your experience, but many women can have higher rates of miscarriages, especially in stressful environments. Their losses aren't your fault either, even if I can't imagine how it felt." He certainly doesn't want to preach to a midwife but he did come from a technologically advanced age, and seeing how those in Caido rely on magic more than medical breakthroughs is definitely at odds with his own education.
One thumb brushes against the back of her hand in repetitive, soothing motions as he speaks. "You can't control someone else's actions. I don't know the whole story so I can't say you're blameless, and every relationship takes work on both sides. But you can't force someone to love you, or to honor a marriage or even a friendship. That doesn't make it your fault. Everyone goes through their own trials, and it can change them and how they act towards those they love, but it doesn't mean you're the one that caused it." How many times in his own life has he pushed people away, been bitter and cruel while he nursed his own wounds? It's an unfortunate reality of the human psyche. And just as unfortunate that blaming oneself is usually the reaction of the scorned and abandoned. "Your life isn't what's wrong. Your life is unique and precious unto itself, and even if nobody is there for you in your darkest hour, the most important thing is to continue living for yourself. For all the people you've helped and the ones who will need you in the future. For every child who does live in the here and now because you were there to make sure they were born healthy. Doesn't that balance the scales? For every life lost, how many have you saved? For every friendship broken, how many have you made, how many persist?" Here he squeezes her hand to emphasize that even if nobody else is there, he is.
"I'm not saying it's easy, or that it will be a breeze to climb upwards from here. But your life isn't what's wrong here. Bad things have happened to you, but they don't make you. There are still good things to live for." A lesson he'd had to learn himself once he'd freed himself of the assassins. He'd been in her exact shoes, wondering if ending his life was a better choice considering the people he'd hurt and the weapon his mind and body still remained. But he had chosen life, chosen happiness. In the end, he hopes she does the same.
lord don't let me break this, let me hold you lightly
give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly
give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly
