You're so cold
but you feel alive
It was a line that shouldn't be crossed. Not here, not now. Perhaps not ever. But she felt him inching closer to it as he leaned in, entering her space, peering down at her over her shoulder.
That she felt things for him was probably quite obvious, even though she tried her best to hide it. It was in the quiet attention she gave him, in the way she kept coming back even after he hurt her, how she made sure to check in, help out, be present. And physical attraction was only a trigger for it. Perhaps it would have ended up the same way if they had never kissed, if her only contact with him had been idle chats across the bar - only utterly one sided and hidden away, a secret to cry over in the lonely night.
But now? The way things were? It was a far more complicated beast altogether. Even in the midst of it all she could recognize how much of a disaster it would be if she ever let him close again. How easily he could destroy her, break and drag her down into the same darkness he inhabited.
"Maybe I just don't want to see you kill yourself with it" she countered, but it was a weak reasoning. No doubt he'd be sick as a pig from drinking so much, but it likely wouldn't get worse than that. Tensing, she twisted, shudders were crawling all over the back of her neck. Maea could feel heat from his body leech into her back, and was almost tempted to fall backwards, see what would happen if she leaned into him.
But she didn't. Just glanced up, turning her head ever so slightly to meet his gaze. She frowned at him, without much conviction.
That she felt things for him was probably quite obvious, even though she tried her best to hide it. It was in the quiet attention she gave him, in the way she kept coming back even after he hurt her, how she made sure to check in, help out, be present. And physical attraction was only a trigger for it. Perhaps it would have ended up the same way if they had never kissed, if her only contact with him had been idle chats across the bar - only utterly one sided and hidden away, a secret to cry over in the lonely night.
But now? The way things were? It was a far more complicated beast altogether. Even in the midst of it all she could recognize how much of a disaster it would be if she ever let him close again. How easily he could destroy her, break and drag her down into the same darkness he inhabited.
"Maybe I just don't want to see you kill yourself with it" she countered, but it was a weak reasoning. No doubt he'd be sick as a pig from drinking so much, but it likely wouldn't get worse than that. Tensing, she twisted, shudders were crawling all over the back of her neck. Maea could feel heat from his body leech into her back, and was almost tempted to fall backwards, see what would happen if she leaned into him.
But she didn't. Just glanced up, turning her head ever so slightly to meet his gaze. She frowned at him, without much conviction.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
