You're so cold
but you feel alive
Oh, that voice. It brought back memories, the very same memories she'd locked away just a moment ago. (She had, right? Quite certain.) Of fingers in her hair, lips against her skin, hunger and want and the taste on her tongue as she licked his neck. Kissed his mouth. It was all there, hovering in the space between his chest and her back, like a current of possibilities. Maea saw it in his eyes too, the knowing and the smirk, and she realized he was doing this on purpose. Because he could. Because... he wanted to?
Biting her lower lip, worrying at it in a way that might draw blood if she kept it up for too long, Maea tried to look past the insistent hum of her body that told her exactly what it wanted. See what else there was. There was a moment where she considered denying she wanted anything at all, but... He'd entrusted her with so much. Told her everything, without deception or attempting to hide who he was. A dangerous man, a bastard and a fool. But an honest man, too.
"I want to be your friend," she said, very quiet as she lowered her eyes. Hovering there, neither moving closer or walking away. "I want you to think of me as one. I want to trust you, and be trusted... and.. m-maybe sometimes, I want to be special. T-to you. Just.. just a little." Like he was becoming to her.
It was a whispered confession, a baring of her soul. A throwing away of all pretenses - because she had thought it too. That there was no ring now. No promises. Nothing wrong anymore... Except perhaps in wanting him at all. In daring to dream of anything that could break.
Swallowing, she continued; "I want to be a Loreseeker. A good one, who travels and makes discoveries. I want to see the world, travel it, live it... and with all that strength and the knowledge, I want to serve the Old Gods.
"And I want to change, enough that I can do all those things without being a burden to anyone. Without tying anyone down, or making them worry. Strong enough that no one can hurt me, even by mistake."
As she listed all her dreams, Maea wondered if Sunjata really would fit with any of them. Or if he was the kind of distraction that might make her pause, hesitate, alter her mind. Make her dream of things she'd already given up, that he did not want, that none of them wanted.
Perhaps it was not the kind of want he'd been asking to hear of, but there it was. All of her, in the ways that mattered to Maea. Laid out for him to break, if he was so inclined.
Biting her lower lip, worrying at it in a way that might draw blood if she kept it up for too long, Maea tried to look past the insistent hum of her body that told her exactly what it wanted. See what else there was. There was a moment where she considered denying she wanted anything at all, but... He'd entrusted her with so much. Told her everything, without deception or attempting to hide who he was. A dangerous man, a bastard and a fool. But an honest man, too.
"I want to be your friend," she said, very quiet as she lowered her eyes. Hovering there, neither moving closer or walking away. "I want you to think of me as one. I want to trust you, and be trusted... and.. m-maybe sometimes, I want to be special. T-to you. Just.. just a little." Like he was becoming to her.
It was a whispered confession, a baring of her soul. A throwing away of all pretenses - because she had thought it too. That there was no ring now. No promises. Nothing wrong anymore... Except perhaps in wanting him at all. In daring to dream of anything that could break.
Swallowing, she continued; "I want to be a Loreseeker. A good one, who travels and makes discoveries. I want to see the world, travel it, live it... and with all that strength and the knowledge, I want to serve the Old Gods.
"And I want to change, enough that I can do all those things without being a burden to anyone. Without tying anyone down, or making them worry. Strong enough that no one can hurt me, even by mistake."
As she listed all her dreams, Maea wondered if Sunjata really would fit with any of them. Or if he was the kind of distraction that might make her pause, hesitate, alter her mind. Make her dream of things she'd already given up, that he did not want, that none of them wanted.
Perhaps it was not the kind of want he'd been asking to hear of, but there it was. All of her, in the ways that mattered to Maea. Laid out for him to break, if he was so inclined.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
