You're so cold
but you feel alive
Always he was honest. Maea couldn't recall that he had ever lied to her. If she allowed herself, she could even admit that there had been no deception in the way he'd taken off a ring and placed it back onto his finger again. That was the thing. Always so honest in every singular moment, acting on heart and what felt right at the time. It was when you stepped back and looked at it from a distance that it became a pattern, a mess of broken hearts and shattered bars. Giving all you had wasn't always the right answer.
But she chose to forget that for a moment, as he responded to her mute request and pulled her into a hug. With a deep sigh that was curiously like relief she melded into his arms, slipped her hands around his waist to hold him in turn. Leaning her head against his chest, she breathing in the scent of him - of clean shirt and sweaty body, of booze and smoke and the faintest hint of water, almost drowned out by all the rest. Maea thought it felt a little like coming home. Like she'd been away for a little too long, and finally could sink back into a favorite chair. He would not appreciate the analogy though, she thought with a little grin, hidden against his shirt.
"Just take all the time you need, Sunjata. One day it will be alright again... but until then you're allowed to feel as shitty as you like," she answered him, giving him a little squeeze.
It would have been very easy to just stay like that, forget that anything had ever been wrong or painful. He pulled back too soon, and Maea only reluctantly lifted her chin to look at him. The hands around hers were warm, gentle, just like his voice. Just like his eyes, when he asked if she wanted to stay.
"Do you want me to?"
And the answer he sought was there when she gazed back up at him. She could stay, if he wanted the company. If he needed someone to fill the silence, stave off the dark for a while. If this simple act of staying close was enough. But... she would be sleeping in a different bed. He was not the only one who needed time.
Because... this could be nothing more than a crush, a simple infatuation that would dissolve and fade like morning mist. But maybe, just maybe it might be the start of something too. And she didn't want to ruin it by rushing into anything. Didn't know if her desire to be close to him could endure his need to roam free as he pleased, a wave happy to kiss any shore it found. She didn't want to be the jealous girl, the one who was never content, who couldn't share or let go.
She didn't want to become another Phoebe to him.
But she chose to forget that for a moment, as he responded to her mute request and pulled her into a hug. With a deep sigh that was curiously like relief she melded into his arms, slipped her hands around his waist to hold him in turn. Leaning her head against his chest, she breathing in the scent of him - of clean shirt and sweaty body, of booze and smoke and the faintest hint of water, almost drowned out by all the rest. Maea thought it felt a little like coming home. Like she'd been away for a little too long, and finally could sink back into a favorite chair. He would not appreciate the analogy though, she thought with a little grin, hidden against his shirt.
"Just take all the time you need, Sunjata. One day it will be alright again... but until then you're allowed to feel as shitty as you like," she answered him, giving him a little squeeze.
It would have been very easy to just stay like that, forget that anything had ever been wrong or painful. He pulled back too soon, and Maea only reluctantly lifted her chin to look at him. The hands around hers were warm, gentle, just like his voice. Just like his eyes, when he asked if she wanted to stay.
"Do you want me to?"
And the answer he sought was there when she gazed back up at him. She could stay, if he wanted the company. If he needed someone to fill the silence, stave off the dark for a while. If this simple act of staying close was enough. But... she would be sleeping in a different bed. He was not the only one who needed time.
Because... this could be nothing more than a crush, a simple infatuation that would dissolve and fade like morning mist. But maybe, just maybe it might be the start of something too. And she didn't want to ruin it by rushing into anything. Didn't know if her desire to be close to him could endure his need to roam free as he pleased, a wave happy to kiss any shore it found. She didn't want to be the jealous girl, the one who was never content, who couldn't share or let go.
She didn't want to become another Phoebe to him.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
