growing roses in the disarray

MAEA

Carry me through this world alive
I feel no more, this suffering

She closed her eyes. Leaned the head back, and breathed, a long, slow breath. Pulling the memory of the conversation to the fore of her thoughts, she repeated Jigano's words almost word by word.

"He said, 'You have shown a lack of understanding of what this guild is based around by deciding to gain knowledge from Zariah through deception. If you decide to do this I will not stop you, but you will no longer remain a Loreseeker. Not only because of my personal bias against Zariah, but because of your arguments in favor of being a spy rather than a scholar, and your willingness to ignore those in the Guild who rebelled against her, so you would have something to return to.'

"And then he left. Saying I was free to think on it, and answer later."

The phrasing, the tone, it was all burned into her with shocking clarity. From the icy look in his eyes to the slight edge in the voice, she couldn't forget it if she tried.

Maea swallowed, still reeling from the cutting pain the last scentence had brought her. Like a whiplash, cruel and accurate.

Bury me in this cold light
I feed the wolf, and shed my skin