There is so much in the space between them. Words, memories, experiences that will not die even if she walks away now. And though she demands of him an answer, a set of terms, she already knows the answer. Isn't that how she got into this in the first place? Knowing him far too well. Seeing beyond his playboy grin and sharp wit that is so similar to her own it had been like looking in a mirror from the moment they'd met.
"I do know you," she admits with a softness that is as much apology as he'll get. But he knows her as well, surely must know her own fears that lead her to comparing him to Ashamin and Thranduil in the first place. As much as it hurts to hear, she is listening. "You already know how I feel about what you do and don't deserve." There's no point in rehashing that entire argument, not when he can't see her point of view. "We all have issues we need to work on. I'm not expecting you to be perfect, I never will. But right now..." Hotaru isn't even sure how to finish that sentence. Right now they simply cannot make each other happy in the way they both deserve.
As he searches for her gaze he will find it, fire tempered into a smolder of certainty that helps keep her afloat as she senses where this is taking them. His final words are the death knell, and she respects him enough to hold his gaze even when his flickers away beneath a weight she knows all too keenly. Sighing softly she lowers her arms and walks back towards him, leaning across the bar and pressing her palm against his jaw to hold him in place and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. A farewell akin to the one she'd given him before his sham of a wedding, but cutting away the intimacy the previous one had held. "I won't wait for you to figure out that love is not something that always hurts. But if the time ever comes...I think I'll be the judge of what I do and don't deserve. Especially who." She taps her hand against his cheek, just as she has done so many times in the past. And with a smile she turns and walks away. Not a goodbye, but an 'until next time'.
"I do know you," she admits with a softness that is as much apology as he'll get. But he knows her as well, surely must know her own fears that lead her to comparing him to Ashamin and Thranduil in the first place. As much as it hurts to hear, she is listening. "You already know how I feel about what you do and don't deserve." There's no point in rehashing that entire argument, not when he can't see her point of view. "We all have issues we need to work on. I'm not expecting you to be perfect, I never will. But right now..." Hotaru isn't even sure how to finish that sentence. Right now they simply cannot make each other happy in the way they both deserve.
As he searches for her gaze he will find it, fire tempered into a smolder of certainty that helps keep her afloat as she senses where this is taking them. His final words are the death knell, and she respects him enough to hold his gaze even when his flickers away beneath a weight she knows all too keenly. Sighing softly she lowers her arms and walks back towards him, leaning across the bar and pressing her palm against his jaw to hold him in place and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. A farewell akin to the one she'd given him before his sham of a wedding, but cutting away the intimacy the previous one had held. "I won't wait for you to figure out that love is not something that always hurts. But if the time ever comes...I think I'll be the judge of what I do and don't deserve. Especially who." She taps her hand against his cheek, just as she has done so many times in the past. And with a smile she turns and walks away. Not a goodbye, but an 'until next time'.
Feel the fear and swallow back the tears
Let weakness disappear, there's nobody but me here
Let weakness disappear, there's nobody but me here
