Wrap your teeth around the pavement

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." Well, she trusted him all the same. So there. Deal with it. Prove her a naive fool, or live up to the faith given, it was all up to him now. His move. Maea's was a simple one, and she relished the softness of his mouth, the hand that reached back to cup her neck and tangle fingers into her hair. Ah, she loved it when he did that. Shifting closer to give that hand more room to access her neck, arching slightly into the touch, Maea smiled against his mouth at the nips, the teasing tongue. Parting her lips, she invited him inside and sent her own pink tongue to meet his, sighing into the taste of his breath. Smoke, drink, water - it was all there, all him. One of her hands reached up around his neck, fingernails raking gently across the tanned skin and into his dark hair. She was soft in his arms, warm and relaxed; perhaps it was the alcohol that stole away her tension, perhaps something else. It was not important.

hide your secrets, disguise your weakness

and lose yourself inside your busy head

A breathy sigh is given in return as she closes in, leaning closer to shift and arch into his touch. The hint of a smile on the corners of his lips as she returns his actions to him. Her hand leaves the shirt along his chest, shifting to reach around his neck and her fingernails scratch gently against his skin. A gentle action, but one that’s appreciated all the same.

His head tilts a bit in her touch, moving to wrap his free arm around her and pull her against his chest, his other hand tangling in her pale hair – breaking his kiss with her for both in part of breath and to kiss along her jawline until he reaches her ear, gentle and soft and sweet as he ends planting a kiss beneath her ear to her neck. He brushes his nose against the space, and keeps her close, simply drinking her in.

burn your bridges, and leave no witnesses

all alone inside your busy head

SuNJATA

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." A tingle of sensation crept through her limbs as she was pressed into his chest, brought closer and held there. A little ticklish, plenty sweet, it made her arms feel heavy and made her stomach flutter. Maea breathed in, a hum of approval coloring the air with her voice as his mouth trailed off to her ear, her neck... for all that she missed the taste of him, it was delightful to have him linger there. Thrilling and soothing all at once. Her hand tightened in his hair, and the other? It stroked the back of his shoulders, fingers moving in little circles. Touching, brushing over the shirt on his back. Feeling the strong muscles beneath, and tracing inked lines she couldn't see but knew was there. It had been a while since she had seen them, now. "I want to stay with you," Maea said, in a quiet whisper by his ear, meant just for him. A little shy. Plenty careful. Not sure how he would interpret her words.

hide your secrets, disguise your weakness

and lose yourself inside your busy head

Her hum of approval is granted a smile against her skin. And with it, he keeps her there, held close, letting himself indulge as she tightens her hand in his hair and strokes along his spine and shoulders, a surprisingly detailed trace of the feathers that are permanently marked there. His head tilts slightly, casually pressing more kisses to the side of her neck when her whisper reaches him.

He only pauses in his trail of kisses to lift his head somewhat toward her own ear. “You are staying with me.” He rumbles, voice a small amount breathless but never like it was before, a bit deeper, nipping playfully at her ear. He wants to hear what she means, to have her tell him everything she wants. Hands running through her silky white hair, twisting it beneath his fingers, he doesn’t pause in the trail he blazes along her skin while he waits for her response.

burn your bridges, and leave no witnesses

all alone inside your busy head

SuNJATA

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." She closed her eyes. The attention he showered over her neck, the little nips and kisses, made her head spin. The burn in her limbs grew steadily more intense, the soft rumble of his voice so close - so deep - sent a shiver down her spine. "I mean... Be with you. By... by your side." Color had begun to spread over her cheeks, and it intensified now. The usual bold blush, brought on by equally bold words. It was only her voice that stumbled a little, made unsteady by his hands, his mouth, his... recent explanation that he did not want to be bound to anyone. But Maea offered the opposite. Asked, timidly, for the chance to walk with him. Down his path, wherever it led. If he wanted her there.

hide your secrets, disguise your weakness

and lose yourself inside your busy head

He continues his warpath until she speaks, asking what it is that she wants. And that’s when he falters somewhat, lips lingering gently along her neck. “Mmm…” A pause, a reverberating sound she’ll feel against her bones, and he withdraws to scout along her face with some hint of amusement and wariness creeping into those storm cloud eyes.

“Like a date?” He asks, tilting his head somewhat. “Like how people here call it a boyfriend or something like it?” They hadn’t had the terms in Korofi for it – you were either with someone or you weren’t. My girl and my boy, the main explanations. But the amused smile on his face fades as he thinks that it’s exactly what she’s asking about. “Unfortunately Caido has a wonderful way of stealing the things I want when I give them a title of meaning.” He hums, leaning forward to press his lips to her nose, before withdrawing and searching her gaze.

“So tell me what you want, what you expect out of it first.” He gives her a considering look to that – making sure to have her state exactly what she wants before he contemplates his agreement. He won’t be caught like Phoebe had trapped him.

burn your bridges, and leave no witnesses

all alone inside your busy head

SuNJATA

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." She had expected this reaction. It came as no surprise to Maea when Sunjata withdrew, looking at her as though she suddenly had gained teeth and claws. Worse, as though she was holding a rope in her hands, ready to tie him down. But... well. In essence, she wanted just the thing he'd thought of. Though... perhaps not so clear cut. She tried to explain, but it was hard when those gray eyes rested on her, weighing every word. "I... want to be yours," she said, forcing herself to meet his gaze, even though her eyes shuddered beneath it. Under the implications of what she was saying. Offering. At least she was already blushing; no need to hide that. "To come home to you, at the end of a day. For you to come home to me. To lean on, and rely on... and trust. With anything. Everything." Pulling deeply on the air for breath, she waited. That was it, really. All she wanted. All she hoped for. Perhaps it was too much?

hide your secrets, disguise your weakness

and lose yourself inside your busy head

To be yours.

It echoes in his mind, rebounding against the rest of the thoughts swirling in his head, the rest of the terms she lists out. He thinks of Lusea’s terms, of Hotaru’s terms, of the rest of them as Maea lays them out on a platter before him. And he sighs, somewhat heavily, the terms so similar to Phoebe’s and yet when he looks and searches the pale gaze that searches his own, it’s different.

The terms are the same, the person is different, but was that enough?

He thinks of Nate, then, of his jests with Ronin and Remi, of testing the waters and the things of that nature. And he removes his hand from tangling in her hair, to rub his thumb along her cheek. “I make mistakes, Maea.” He offers roughly, offering a somewhat sad smile to that. “I take things and I destroy them, and drown them, and ruin them. And I don’t want to ruin you.” He searches her gaze again, before withdrawing a small amount.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

burn your bridges, and leave no witnesses

all alone inside your busy head

SuNJATA

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." He withdrew further, and it scared her. Terrified her, in truth, and it was very hard to keep from grabbing on to him, hold on and bring him back in. Her hands twitched, the impulse there... but that was the opposite of what she wanted. So she let go. Let him open up that space between them, let her chest ache all it wanted. She didn't know Phoebe's terms. Or Lusea's, or Hotaru's. Never heard them, never knew them, didn't care about them. Perhaps she should... but in the end, nothing should matter except him and her. Maea looked at him, with those pale moonlight eyes of hers. Looked, the way she had that day at the river. Like she had the night in the hideout. Saw him, inside and out, for all that he was and was not. With all the things he'd told her, truths shared, secrets offered, habits seen and explored and become accustomed to while she lived here, under his roof... was there still things about him she had not seen? Oh, of course there were. They might not be strangers anymore, but they weren't that familiar yet, either. Maea just wanted to be. "I know you, somewhat" she said, quite calm. "I've seen you make mistakes. I've seen you own up to them, making no excuses and no attempts to push blame onto others. I think I understand some of what you want, what you need. "And I... don't want to be a cage. Or keep you from doing whatever you want. I'd never try to say that you can't do something, because... I can't. It wouldn't be right. If you wanted to stick to me, and me only, then I... would be very happy. Can't deny that. But if not then... then that would be your choice, Sunjata. I could never take that away from you." She'd said the same when they argued about his marriage before. Told him it was for him to decide whether to stay or go, what to do, even left it for him to determine whether to do something or not. Choice. It's all it came down to, in Maea's eyes. "The only one who can decide what breaks me, is me. I want to be with you. If that means I would have to share you with the rest of the world, then... then that is my choice. To accept, and live with. Because... I think you would be worth it." She shrugged, a little helpless gesture. It was, in the end, all up to him.

hide your secrets, disguise your weakness

and lose yourself inside your busy head

She thinks she understands what he needs, what he wants, and he focuses on her with more clarity, more intent. She lists them out, an ability to not be held back, to do what he chooses, and that she wouldn’t care either way. But she would. He knows this, she knows this, that spark of jealousy hidden within his gut from the bite that Nate had given her was all that much more intense. But those were simply feelings, ones that would pass, ones that could grow.

He doesn’t know what he wants, in the end, as per usual.

She shrugs, offering what she can, and he exhales slowly through his nose as he considers it. “I think that my relationships right now work best as friends with benefits.” It’s a quietly uttered answer. “You can stay with me through it, or not. That is your choice. But I don’t want to be the one for the tears on your cheeks if my attention is elsewhere.” He tries to convey a soft smile for the brutal honesty of his words.

Since arriving in Caido he’d never had the best track record. And tying himself to someone only made it that much more difficult in the end. “I can’t give you the sun and the moon and the sky, but I can be there to help you until you get them on your own. Whether that’s only friends or with a bit more tossed in the mix.” He searches her gaze to let her decide. An ultimatum of no titles, no nothing aside from fun and distraction and friendship. Those are his terms.

burn your bridges, and leave no witnesses

all alone inside your busy head

SuNJATA

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." Maea chewed on his words. His answer. Chewed on her lip too, and swallowed back a painful prickle behind her eyes again before he could see it. Maea told herself that she should have expected this. That he'd been plain enough before, that nothing had changed since then... Except, it had. For her. "I... don't think I can do this by half, Sunjata," she said, quietly. A world of pain in her voice, and in her eyes as she looked up at him. "I'm already... in too deep. Either it is, or it isn't." And his choice... meant that this would not work. Nights like these. Kisses like these. Letting herself be held by him, tricking herself into thinking it meant something when... it did not. Very slowly, the girl began to push herself down from the bar. He was still in her space, and they would end up nearly touching again if she stood on her feet, but... she couldn't bear to remain where she was either. Not when she was already feeling the need to cry again, and thus break her own words. She didn't want to hurt him either, by letting him think that he'd done anything wrong. He had not. This... was all on her.

hide your secrets, disguise your weakness

and lose yourself inside your busy head

She might be wanting to hide the emotions from him, but he can see them when he looks hard enough. He can see the extra glossiness to her pale eyes as his own roundabout terms are laid out. He can see them when he hears the pain in her voice at it, pushes herself down from the bar and he steps away to let her. It was evident that he’d already trapped her too far into his webs, and wanting to keep her within them among the rest was too much.

It was the same story over and over again.

All he can do is offer her a quiet nod at first. “I’m sorry, Maea.” He begins, quietly, studying her face. “I do want to be that for you, but we both know it won't last. We both know I'll mess it up one way or another.” A quiet admission, folding his arms across his chest, a frown tilting the corners of his lips down slightly. “Halfway is easiest. Right now at least.” Because he doesn’t want to be trapped – doesn’t want Maea to be a repeat of Phoebe in her attachment.

Perhaps he is the bad guy in the end, after all.

burn your bridges, and leave no witnesses

all alone inside your busy head

SuNJATA

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." He did not try to stop her this time. Did not go after her, the way he had that first day. It spoke more loudly to Maea than any of his words, and told her only how right it was for her to walk away now. Before this got any farther. In the end, it came down to the depth of their feelings, she thought. She was in deep, and he was still standing on the shore, considering if it would be cold if he stepped into the water. That he cared about her she did not doubt, but it was clear now that it was not the same kind of feelings she had for him. If it had been, he would not think it easier to be only half there. "Well... If you ever change your mind... you'll know where to find me.".She tried to smile, keep it light, leave the door open for him, just a crack. Maea headed for the bags she had left on the floor, to begin dragging them off for a room that felt even less like a home now. Perhaps she ought to leave that behind too.

hide your secrets, disguise your weakness

and lose yourself inside your busy head

He knows it’s a mistake. He knows it is, deep down, when all he wants to do is abandon everything and go to Torchline. He knows that it’ll break her heart one way or another. So it’s better that it’s done now, that he ends it before it begins, before she gets into it too deep – further than she is at this moment. Still, she tries to smile for him and he can’t help the slightly saddened smile that crosses his in response.

He can’t let her go just like this though, and so he approaches her, reaching out for her arm to try and catch her pale gaze. “Okay… Thank you, though. For helping me through everything.” Fingertips ghost her arm. He can still feel the pressure of her against him, against his lips, the deepened kiss. He sighs quietly, turning to reach for the glass he’d left on the bar top, downing it fully. A gruff sadness reaching his chest with it, but at least it beat the disasters he’d surrounded himself with as of late.

burn your bridges, and leave no witnesses

all alone inside your busy head

SuNJATA