Wrap your teeth around the pavement

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." He withdrew further, and it scared her. Terrified her, in truth, and it was very hard to keep from grabbing on to him, hold on and bring him back in. Her hands twitched, the impulse there... but that was the opposite of what she wanted. So she let go. Let him open up that space between them, let her chest ache all it wanted. She didn't know Phoebe's terms. Or Lusea's, or Hotaru's. Never heard them, never knew them, didn't care about them. Perhaps she should... but in the end, nothing should matter except him and her. Maea looked at him, with those pale moonlight eyes of hers. Looked, the way she had that day at the river. Like she had the night in the hideout. Saw him, inside and out, for all that he was and was not. With all the things he'd told her, truths shared, secrets offered, habits seen and explored and become accustomed to while she lived here, under his roof... was there still things about him she had not seen? Oh, of course there were. They might not be strangers anymore, but they weren't that familiar yet, either. Maea just wanted to be. "I know you, somewhat" she said, quite calm. "I've seen you make mistakes. I've seen you own up to them, making no excuses and no attempts to push blame onto others. I think I understand some of what you want, what you need. "And I... don't want to be a cage. Or keep you from doing whatever you want. I'd never try to say that you can't do something, because... I can't. It wouldn't be right. If you wanted to stick to me, and me only, then I... would be very happy. Can't deny that. But if not then... then that would be your choice, Sunjata. I could never take that away from you." She'd said the same when they argued about his marriage before. Told him it was for him to decide whether to stay or go, what to do, even left it for him to determine whether to do something or not. Choice. It's all it came down to, in Maea's eyes. "The only one who can decide what breaks me, is me. I want to be with you. If that means I would have to share you with the rest of the world, then... then that is my choice. To accept, and live with. Because... I think you would be worth it." She shrugged, a little helpless gesture. It was, in the end, all up to him.