I’m shaking my head & locking the gates

Beatrix didn't get why Loren was laughing so much. Was it really that funny that Neron and her mom got married? She didn't understand it. She was pretty sure someday when she got big and got married, Jace would be happy. And she would be happy when he got big and got married too. That's what siblings were supposed to do right? She bit her lip and looked at the ground, uncomfortable with how everyone was acting and not remembering. But then again she didn't really remember either.

But she could tell Auntie Edy was really upset. She didn't get all quiet like that unless she was. Edy just wanted everyone together and considering all of the weird things going on she didn't blame her. It would be nice to be all together. But Loren was a party pooper sometimes. That was what Neron told her. So Beatrix walked up to Edrei and held her hand unless otherwise stopped.

"It's okay if he wants to live somewhere else. I'll be here with you!" She said brightly, with a smile. "And eventually he will get jealous and move in here too, right? Cause we will have so much fun!" Beatrix was doing her 9 year old darndest to make this better.

Loren

Loren not afraid to use every trick in the book It actually was that funny to Loren; his twin had been so far from marriage material—especially for the head of the family, who supposedly had her pick of magical men—that his mind just refused to accept the idea. Even worse was the idea of Neron as a father. Zariah would do well to remember that, for most of Loren’s life, his twin was about as far from being a caring person as it was possible to be. In fact, the elder brother had straight up tortured the younger one, which didn’t exactly lend itself well to the thought of Neron one day turning into a stand up person. It really had nothing to do with Zariah and everything to do with who Neron was as a person. While he was willing to accept the facts as they were, he was less willing to blindly believe in Zariah’s reality as the real one, especially when Edy was equally in the dark. ”I wasn’t at your wedding, Zariah.” His voice came out gently this time; whatever she might want to believe, it wasn’t true, at least not for him. Then a thought floored him: Jace was Neron’s biological son, apparently. ”Wait so...I’m an uncle?” That set him off on another set of hysterics. He could barely care for himself, let alone a nephew. He was so bemused and perplexed (and, frankly, poleaxed) by that news that he totally forgot to answer her question about last memorable event. Of course, given that it had been wild monkey sex with Remi in the library, he didn't think it was newsworthy. It seemed that Edy wasn’t going to budge, but Zariah at least was on his side. That was good—not least of which because he still had trouble shaking the instinct that her word was law—and made his work that much easier. Beatrix was helping, being the cheerful and friendly girl she was. Still, at that sad note in Edy’s voice….Loren sighed, knowing that once again he would compromise for his family. First, though, he had to address that ridiculous idea of him living in the basement: he wouldn’t go back to some cell, not ever again. And they weren’t strong enough to force him without killing him. Leaning forward he dropped his voice to a whisper that only Edrei could here. ”I’m not letting you put me in a dungeon, even if it is a sex dungeon.” His voice was low and hard, despite the somewhat ridiculous subject matter. Leaning back, he raised his voice so they all could hear him clearly. ”How about this? We get adjoining buildings, with a locking door from my home into the main residence and a separate entrance for me.” It was functionally like living together, and would solve all their problems; he would get the illusion of privacy, at the very least, while Edy would get that happy family life she so clearly craved. Honestly, this arrangement made a whole lot of sense, at least until he could manage to sway Edrei further to his way of thinking. And woe to any who broke down his doors without permission. It wouldn’t be the first time it had happened, but he wasn’t going to put up with that nonsense any longer.

The last major event? Uhhhh. Edy nibbled her lip. "I remember the masquerade? And...The prince had just announced he was planning on ascending the throne? It hadn't happened yet, but.." With a shrug, Edy glanced towards Loren to see if he had any more details to add. He didn't apparently. As Loren leaned forward, the words whispered from his lips made Edy's jaw temporarily drop and her eyes alight with playfulness. Though the words might have had a sultry connotation if not for the tonelessness in which they were spoken, Edy was quite sure that somehow the magician's words were more meant to hurt than break the tension. As he pulled back, the light was gone from the younger girl's eyes, replaced with hurt and confusion. Indeed as Zariah intoned that living in a basement was somehow a negative, Edy huffed and flopped her arms dramatically. 'I didn't mean it like that." She said, quirking a brow at Loren. "I just thought the basement would have more privacy that's all. And it's a whole floor unto itself. I thought it was the–" best thing for you, but the words were cut off by Loren's 'suggestion'. Only it solved absolutely nothing. "Next door isn't with us." The teenager argued. As Bea's hand slipped into hers, Edy's eyes dropped to the ground, her heart fumbling awkwardly as the 9-year old offered herself up as a Loren replacement. Looking towards the man who was supposed to be her best friend, Edy could feel her lip tremble slightly, which was abruptly halted as she bit the inside of it quite hard. "Number one, there aren't any houses like that." She snarked, wanting to cross her arms defiantly, but also wanting to continue to hold Bea's hand. "And number two, the point is for us to be together. Not for some of us to be together and some of us to be behind two sets of walls and who knows how many deadbolts." Edrei Launceleyn loveable & obnoxious

Zariah frowned when Loren didn't answer the question. Was it really so hard? Or did he just feel like saying no to everything today? Seriously he could be such a pain sometimes. At least Edrei gave her a clue, and it was kind of shocking. Her eyes widened. "From my memory, that's going back a few years." She said, feeling like her gut feeling had been right. They had come from different time periods. It would explain their confusion, and how her children were drastically different ages.

But she didn't have time to worry about it. Right now there was a fight brewing and she needed to find a way to keep it from escalating. "Edrei, we can't force him to live here." She said. Well, she could. But what she meant was Edrei couldn't and she wouldn't. She didn't want to rule with fear and disregard for her family members anymore. Zariah looked over at Loren, a slight frown on her lips. "I don't know why you are so adamant you not live here. We would respect your space...but if you must live elsewhere then at least stay close?" She said as a request. "I'd like to meet whoever you are seeing. I'm glad you've met someone who makes you happy."

Beatrix I'll clean my room in exchange for your immortal soul Beatrix’s patience was wearing thin. She was 9 after all, she didn’t have a lot of patience to begin with, and this bickering back and forth was getting in the way of better things. Like games. Or a snack. Or ripping the head off a doll and terrorizing weaker children with it – which was her favorite. But it seemed both Loren and Auntie Edy wanted to die on the hills they stood on, as mom sometimes said when people were being stubborn for no reason. Her nose wrinkled. Why were grown-ups such dumb-dumbs? ”Loren, you’re being a jerk. Everyone is being nice to you and wants you around ‘cause we like you and you’re being mean for no reason.” Beatrix huffed at him, her eyebrows furrowing together. ”Just bring your friends here and we won’t talk to them since you don’t wanna share.” She added, displaying her very strong grasp of what being in a relationship meant. She didn’t understand why he didn’t want to bring his friend over and have them all be friends. Whatever. His loss. Then she looked up at Edrei, looking equally stern. ”Why do you try so hard when he is a jerk? Why be nice to him when he wants to be mean? Just let him be dumb if that is what he wants.” She didn’t see why it was so important for him to stay if he didn’t want to. He would just be even more grumpy than usual which already was almost always. She was actually being quite articulate for a child as young as herself. But such moments of clarity usually came to an abrupt end, and Beatrix had reached that end. She looked at Loren again and scrunched up her face before sticking her tongue out at him. ”Meanie-face.” Yep. She was definitely a little sister. Loren

Unfortunately for the family, Loren wasn’t the shy, subservient person he’d been back in Northaven. Nothing really had changed, but there was one important difference: this wasn’t Northaven, and therefore everything was up in the air. There were no Hawthornes, no oath, no overwhelming need to be obedient. Beyond that, he was strong enough that even Zariah might think twice before tangling him. It wouldn’t stop her—very little did, from trying at least—but it might slow her down long enough for him to beat a hasty retreat and come back to fight another day. And for some reason, the family ganging up on him (which very much felt like old times) was triggering all his worst instincts. So though he objectively knew better, he found himself closing off and going on the defensive. However, this whole encounter was just going to show him that the Launceleyns, for all their claims of being a close-knit group, really didn’t listen to one another or care, didn’t know how to compromise. He was asking for a something relatively small, in the grand scheme of things, and instead of respecting his wishes or at least trying to understand him they were just badgering him to get what they wanted. He was sick and tired of always putting others before himself when it seemed his relatives were only capable of considering their own needs. No more. If he didn’t make a firm stand here he’d just find them all falling into the same old self-destructive patterns of before. Edrei needed to grow up, Zariah needed to learn how to manage people effective if she was going to remain head of the family, and as for Beatrix, well, she was precocious but maybe needed a lesson in manners. If Loren had talked back to a Launceleyn elder at her age (like Edy seemed to always do) he would’ve been slapped down hard; the fact that he wasn’t erupting was a testament to his patience. So, when he spoke, it was cooly polite, if tinged with a bit of snarkiness. ”Living under the same roof doesn’t guarantee we’d be together either, as evidenced by my own experiences in the Launceleyn compound.” Even if they were physically in the same space, Loren had been ostracized quite effectively, to the point where he felt he was an outcast. Zariah and Edy and Beatrix couldn’t understand that: they’d been placed on pedastals while he’d been pushed away and locked out until very very recently. He still remembered what it felt like—being an outsider in his own home hurt more than he could say—and he had no intention of allowing that to happen again. If they wanted to be a real family it would take more than living under the same roof. If Edy didn’t get that, she was dumber than he’d realized. ”There aren’t any houses period, not really, so we’ll be building from scratch no matter what we decide on.” That was just an indisputable fact. Turning to Zariah, Loren regarded the woman with a dispassionate expression. Except for his eyes: they contained a depth of emotion he usually hid away for fear of being hurt. ”You’re right, you can’t force me to do anything I don’t want to, not anymore.” Saying it aloud filled him with a thrilling delight; Zariah could kill him, maybe, but she’d have to find other ways of coercing him rather than raw power. He wouldn’t bow his head, not after he’d come so far. Honestly, he thought he was being quite reasonable and was trying to actual find a solution to seemingly incompatible desires. ”I don’t see how I could get much closer than living next door with an adjoining entrance. I’d actually be closer than I was in Northaven, where, I would point out, I lived on my own and no one minded.” He took a deep breath and looked Edy in the eyes, though he spoke to all three of them. ”But regardless of where I actually end up, I will always be a part of this family and will support you and be there for you in whatever way I can.” He just wasn’t going to sacrifice his own happiness to do it ever again. Meeting Remi right now was absolutely out of the question. ”It’s still too new for that, but I appreciate you saying that. If it works out, maybe someday.” He wasn’t hiding Remi away—well, not intentionally—but he wanted to know if they actually had a relationship (which required seeing him) before introducing the Launceleyns to the concept. No doubt they’d want to meddle and judge and would be horrified but Loren refused to feel shame. As for Beatrix, he knelt down and gave her a brief smile, though sorrow lurked in his eyes. ”I do have reasons, Bea. I can’t tell you everything, but the family was very very mean to me for a very long time, which means I am sometimes mean back to them. I’m sorry about that, and I’m trying to get better about it and be more comfortable and open with you all.” Looking up at Zariah and Edy, the smile slipped away. ”But trying to force me into it is just going to drive me away.” He was being perfectly honest, in a way he rarely was around people whose blood he shared. But it felt important to state it out loud in no uncertain terms. LOREN Brought back by satisfaction more times than the cat

Cocking a brow Edy looked towards Zariah. Going back a couple of years. Well...given the appearance of Jace and this apparent marriage it made sense that years had passed, and yet ... How was it that neither Edy nor Loren remembered any of it? "Okay...but how is any of that possible?" Still Loren seemed utterly un-bothered by the time-lapse, which actually was okay in her mind. That meant he was focusing on the real issue at hand, namely abandoning his whole family. That's how it felt anyways. "Well this isn't the Launceleyn compound." Edy pointed out with pedantic clarity. "It's the...uh..Launceleyn house totally different." The levity in her voice was unintentional, but for fuck sakes, Loren really was digging in his heels about this. And all over some relationship? As Loren said there were no houses, Edy visibly gaped. Looking towards Zariah with an unmistakably expression of okay I know shit has been weird, but that is really weird, right? before turning back towards her whatever-cousin-dipped-in-chocolate-twice-removed. "Uh. If you hadn't noticed we're in a house. One of many, specifically chosen because of all the extra rooms." The sweat was literally still drying on her skin from cleaning this place and Loren was trying to say that there weren't any houses? Unimpressed with what came out of his mouth next, Edy briskly licked the front of teeth and huffed. "Yeah but we aren't in Northaven. We have no one here except for each other, our magic has gotten fucked up, we don't know why or how we arrived, Zariah has apparently been fucking Neron and-" Realizing the mixing of swearing and small children, Edy shot Z a momentary apologetic smile before continuing. "-this is what we have. Each other." Huffing, Edy narrowed eyes dangerously close to tears. "In whatever way you can." She repeated incredulous, her voice surprisingly soft and low. "As long as that doesn't infringe on what you want, right? Cause boo hoo, things happened to you in the past and now we all have to pay for it, even though all we want to do is be a family." As Bea interrupted, Edy squeezed the girl's had silently encouraging her. Loren was being a jerk and despite Bea's inelegant phrasing (not that Edy had done much better), Edy found herself nodding along with every word the girl said. As the questions turned round to her, Edy looked down towards the upturned face. "Because Loren said we were bestfriends." She said with a simple note of finality, as if this decision of his was also a decision to end that. Given that he'd only mistakenly entered into it Loren probably wouldn't care at all. But the way Loren had behaved had meant something to her, and now, in a time when she felt utterly alone and was grasping all the harder to keep her family together, his rejection of that was felt all the more sharply. "Ahh right. Too new to introduce, but good enough to decide you'd rather not stay with us, huh." Edy sulked childishly. It was a low blow, but since she'd never been in a relationship, she didn't know what it was to covet the newness. Edy would happily bring round any sexual partner (and was going to, in fact) and answer any question anyone at all might have. Why it was so different for Loren, the older and wiser one, she didn't know. As Loren knelt to speak to Bea, Edy narrowed her eyes defensively. "We weren't mean to him Bea. But he's making us pay for it, just the same." Edrei Launceleyn loveable & obnoxious

"I'm not sure. But it is possible we all came from different points in time, to varying degrees." She said to Edrei. With magic, what was logical wasn't always the best assumption. Anything was possible when twisted by the right ands. They had all been brought here by some strange power, what said they couldn't have altered the fabric of time too? And then Loren went on his spiral of self and family hate and her expression fell. She had to remind herself that Loren didn't know how she had changed things, how she herself had changed.  That said, he was placing a lot of blame and burden on people who had not hurt him. Zariah helped him kick start his magical growth with praise and encouragement. Edrei was basically the epitome of a cheerleader mixed with a fangirl. And the children were children. They had never hurt him. And more importantly... "You seem to forget, Loren, that no one who grew up in the family compound left unharmed, untortured, or unscarred. Yes, in your case it was particularly acute given your early struggles with magic but do not paint yourself the only victim of our old ways. And that is what they are. Old." It was clear that Zariah was upset, but there was a coolness to her tone, a calm she had always lacked when angry before. If anything her disappointment rang more clearly than her anger. "Obviously you've no recollection of this as it had yet to occur, but you should recall a conversation we had about changing; changing myself specifically to better the family we had left. I followed your advice. This is not Northwind, it isn't even Northaven, and what you seem to think this family is or will be is a faleshood. Certainly, be angry about your childhood, but have the maturity to open your mind and recognize that everyone in this room has worked very hard to make your life better. We aren't your enemy." Beatrix piped up and she smiled proudly  - though Edrei did get a bit of a glare with her language. But she was proud to see Beatrix speaking up when she thought something was wrong. zariah If my strength intimidates you, I hope you realize that is a weakness of yours.

Beatrix I'll clean my room in exchange for your immortal soul Beatrix stayed frowning as Loren “got on her level”. She hated that. She didn’t need people to squat all weird for her to understand. She was short not stupid. Where her mother exhibited a calm seemingly contrary to her character, Beatrix’s eyes shone bright with fire and brimstone. Loren might be trying to be nice, but this kid sister wasn’t having it. Briefly she glanced up at Edrei when she spoke to her. Called Loren her best friend. Ha. ”He isn’t your friend if he is mean to you for things you didn’t do.” She said bluntly. Friends didn’t hurt friends like this. She looked back at her older brother, still frowning. ”The family hurt you so now you’re mean to me too? And Jace? We weren’t even borned yet.” she said, a bit petulantly. Her lip stuck out and stared to quiver, because when she got upset she tended to cry, as kids do. ”You look like Jace’s dad who is probably dead and all you care about is some stupid girlfriend or whatever and not trying to help your own nephew?” Beatrix said, her eyes tearing up. ”Everyone who hurt you is dead so now you gotta hurt a baby?” She was basically repeating herself because she couldn’t understand. A pitiful sniffled escaped her lips and she roughly wiped at her eyes with her free hand to try and dry her welled up tears. “You’re the one hurting people Loren, not me.”

For a long time, Loren was silent, arrayed against the women of the family and once again feeling alone among the Launceleyns. Too long, probably, but no matter. They didn't get it, didn't understand how he felt around his relatives, as if at any moment the facade would fall away and they'd start abusing him once more. It had been the Launceleyn way—for him, not for them, and it was laughable to think they could ever imagine the agony and suffering he'd endured, even if they'd had their own share of troubles—to let him get close to what he wanted only to have it cruelly and deliberately snatched away at the last instant. He'd slaved away, nearly killed himself for them more times than he could count, and what did he have to show for it? Just a lot of heartache and wasted time. No more. He couldn't do this anymore, couldn't be around people who were so rigid in their ways that they couldn't accommodate his needs and wants, couldn't see who he really was. It wasn't love, just a blind familial devotion that bound them together. And Loren was done letting his family dictate his life. For too long he'd been willing and content, eager even, to do whatever had been asked for him, happy with whatever scraps they'd thrown his way. But it had never satisfied him, not really, not the way his other friendships and relationships had; it had taken him a long time to realize it, but now that he had he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that staying with them would just cause them all pain down the line. At the very least, getting back into the same self-destructive and harmful relationships they'd had in the past was a bad idea. Besides, they were ganging up on him, and he was tired of being pushed around by them, as if his love and affection could be taken for granted. If he didn't make a stand here, he never would. Backing him into a corner had been a mistake, as was failing to make an effort to listen to him. Sure, he had problems—they all did—but he'd always put family first. Now, the one time he asked for something and it was being denied to him. Now it was impossible to see any reason to stay. He wouldn't bother addressing their individual concerns, since they'd just wear down his resolve if he stayed a moment longer. His eyes met each of theirs, but he lingered longest on Edrei's. Beatrix and Zariah he somehow cared less about, but Edy had seemed to be different. Unfortunately, she'd proven to be as one sided as all the rest. "If you can't even consider compromising, then you don't really love me. Call me cruel, but far crueler is forcing me into something I'm uncomfortable with just to make your own life easier, to pursue your own happiness. That's not how families should work." He knew that now, and he was tired of trying to make himself ignore the dysfunction that never failed to harm him. "And if I'm cruel, then I'm just finally embracing the heritage you all left for me." And with that he turned and walked away. He didn't need this, didn't need them in his life, not like this. {Exit Loren} LOREN Not quite an open book