cinders and smoke

remi The higher I climb the farther I fall when I do "Curse free, memory intact." Remi replied, knowing that was only part of what his husband was asking. The other part hadn't quite been worked out yet, so he couldn't comment. Remi felt a horrific lack of nothing as his fingers were tenderly taken and kissed. "But it should have been." He whispered back, voice as empty as the grave.  "It should have been." He repeated dully, fingers limp in Ronin's before he rallied and drew the hunter's hand to his. "I don't know that I can ever be the man I used to be. I don't know...what links him to me, other than time." This wasn't what he actually wanted to be saying, but words had always been one of his biggest failings. Closing his fingers around Ronin's and letting them drop to the sands, Remi sighed. "I think whatever there was to love about me is gone now. I feel like an anchor..just something hard to carry around." Looking down dully into the sands rather than into the handsome face he assumed was already prepping a response of no of course not, Remi closed his eyes. "Ludo asked me if I wanted to go with it. I nearly said yes." He admitted in a soft voice. "I don't know how much longer I can go on like this."