I would rather be dead

it doesn't matter where you roam, when no one's left to call you home

If Remi was meant to be moved by this, he wasn't. He'd seen enough death, had poured out all he once had for Loren time and time again. Watching as Astra's fur darkened and became stained with crimson, Remi watched the thin thread of healing that knit the Launceleyn's throat together with a silent stare.

"Just as selfish as always Loren. You'd kill yourself and leave Astra like this? But now you've not even done that. Just left her with the trauma of knowing that you would have. Making her feel what you feel and see this." He shook his head. At least when he'd tried to kill himself, he'd been earnest about it.

'The most disappointing part of all of this Loren is that I can hear you now, going on about how you tried to kill yourself in your grief. Wearing this scar as yet another badge to show just how hard a life you've had it." The difference between the two men, was that Remi's scars were silent. He owned them and didn't wear them like a tapestry of excuses for his shitty behaviour as Loren did.

"Die Loren, or don't. You've ability to do either." The alchemist said, arms folding now across his chest.

i might have strained a bit too far, i'm countin' all the moonlit stars