OLIVER
Watching as Loren filled up his mug, Oliver slid his own mug over to the man, nodding to him as a way to ask for a refill. Hopefully the man was willing to accept his request and would be willing to get him a bit more to drink. "Trust me, I know not everyone can be helped. Not everyone wants to be helped either... but even then. I'm simply- useless. I mean, look at you. Head Healer. And me... that blonde dude." Oliver shook his head and worked on eating his food, using it as an excuse to keep his mouth occupied for the time being.
It was easy to notice the blush appear on Loren's face, but Oliver didn't push the subject. If Loren wanted to talk about it, great, but otherwise Oliver would leave it at that. And that question- that question. It hurts to answer, but he has to. "I liked the attention... it felt nice to have two guys who showed an interest in me... I can hardly remember the people I had been with before coming here. I don't remember our relationship, just that one existed... and having someone show interest in me helps me to forget about it." It gives him something else to think about and gives him hope that he can continue on without those memories. Embarrassing as it may be, Oliver just craved the attention and affection of those two men, even when they were both clearly using him.
"I am happy with this, though. What I am now... and if I find someone? Great. I won't let myself get overly attached emotionally." He lets out a shrug and finishes off his food contently. There wasn't much to do or say on the subject. As long as this attitude was kept up, all would surely be well.
The topic of books seemed to light a fire inside of Oliver. "See? Annoying! I am not saying people should stop writing books, absolutely not, but we should make them more accessible! But oh, Jigano, he says that no. People are illiterate, so why make books publicly accessible? It's fucking stupid." Oliver was clearly bothered by that sentiment. It was a toxic way to live your life. People should search for improvement, not stay in the past and refuse change.
It was easy to notice the blush appear on Loren's face, but Oliver didn't push the subject. If Loren wanted to talk about it, great, but otherwise Oliver would leave it at that. And that question- that question. It hurts to answer, but he has to. "I liked the attention... it felt nice to have two guys who showed an interest in me... I can hardly remember the people I had been with before coming here. I don't remember our relationship, just that one existed... and having someone show interest in me helps me to forget about it." It gives him something else to think about and gives him hope that he can continue on without those memories. Embarrassing as it may be, Oliver just craved the attention and affection of those two men, even when they were both clearly using him.
"I am happy with this, though. What I am now... and if I find someone? Great. I won't let myself get overly attached emotionally." He lets out a shrug and finishes off his food contently. There wasn't much to do or say on the subject. As long as this attitude was kept up, all would surely be well.
The topic of books seemed to light a fire inside of Oliver. "See? Annoying! I am not saying people should stop writing books, absolutely not, but we should make them more accessible! But oh, Jigano, he says that no. People are illiterate, so why make books publicly accessible? It's fucking stupid." Oliver was clearly bothered by that sentiment. It was a toxic way to live your life. People should search for improvement, not stay in the past and refuse change.
I JUST WANT MY EXISTENCE
TO BE MORE THAN TREMBLING
TO BE MORE THAN TREMBLING
