i hate dreaming of being alone

AmaLIa

shield of safrin

I will try to be better. "That's not what I said." Still holding his hands, Amalia sinks into a chair beside him, suddenly very, very tired. Try to be better, as if he isn't enough - as if she doesn't love him for his darkness, rather than in spite of it. As though she were some sort of paragon, deserving only perfection and strength while she gives only weakness in return.

Sighing, the girl releases one of his hands, tracing it thoughtfully down his back. "I don't need you to be better, Deimos. You're already too good to me. You... you take care of me. You healed me." I'm the one who is not enough. Biting her lip, the girl glances away, her fingers still idly trailing over covered shoulders. How to explain the things she's been feeling, to find words for the wealth of emotions she holds?

"Sometimes it... it feels like there's something you think you're supposed to be. For me. Like you hide away all the parts of you that you don't think I'll love- but I do love them, Deimos. I want to know them. To know you." Withdrawing her arm, Amalia tucks her feet onto the edge of the chair, legs against her chest. "It makes me feel like I'm far away from you. And... and like I have to hide my bad parts away, too. Because otherwise you'll try to carry them yourself, and that isn't fair. Not to either of us."

you can't choose what stays
and what fades away