Love mends even the broken parts
Loren bit his lip at Maea's enthusiasm. "Good luck. I...don't know who can help you with that these days." Tone apologetic, he shrugged awkwardly.
As she spoke about why he shouldn't expect people to be there for him, he felt his jaw feather with tension. Looking away, he bit back his first angry response, forcing himself to take a calming breath instead. "I was always there for them. Not in the way they wanted or needed, but I at least showed up. I was there for Sunjata after Lusea. I was there for Phoebe after her nephews. I was there for Amalia after her injury. I was there. Without needing to be asked." Even with the pause he'd taken, his voice was still bitter.
Finally, he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "You're right, though. I shouldn't...I'm not reason enough for them to make the trip I guess. And it's because I inevitably lash out and push people away." Smiling in a melancholy way, he pressed his cheek to Astra, who let out a sad bleat. He knew he was twisting Maea's words, and couldn't bring himself to care.
Closing his eyes, he found himself falling silent for a long moment. Finally he opened his eyes and lifted his head. "Alright. You might want to settle in for a long story." He dragged his fingers down his face, as if trying to pull the words out of himself.
"I never really enjoyed things. And...there was no joy in my life before Caido." He found himself staring out at the distant horizon. "I was a farmer, a librarian, a spy, a healer, and a solider in my old world. And I became strong out of necessity."
Shifting his weight, he pulled Astra fulling into his lap, stroking her fur softly, letting it anchor him even as his mind drifted to unhappy memories. "My family was always magical, and powerful. This was a threat to the kings and queens of yore. So, to prove their loyalty, my ancestors bound themselves to the royals of my world. Long, long ago." His voice was quiet and his eyes were haunted. "Through blood and magic, they swore an oath, one that ensured we would never disobey an order from one of royal blood, and that we would never harm a member of the royal family, even by accident."
Finally, he glanced at Maea. "To do so meant instant death."
As she spoke about why he shouldn't expect people to be there for him, he felt his jaw feather with tension. Looking away, he bit back his first angry response, forcing himself to take a calming breath instead. "I was always there for them. Not in the way they wanted or needed, but I at least showed up. I was there for Sunjata after Lusea. I was there for Phoebe after her nephews. I was there for Amalia after her injury. I was there. Without needing to be asked." Even with the pause he'd taken, his voice was still bitter.
Finally, he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "You're right, though. I shouldn't...I'm not reason enough for them to make the trip I guess. And it's because I inevitably lash out and push people away." Smiling in a melancholy way, he pressed his cheek to Astra, who let out a sad bleat. He knew he was twisting Maea's words, and couldn't bring himself to care.
Closing his eyes, he found himself falling silent for a long moment. Finally he opened his eyes and lifted his head. "Alright. You might want to settle in for a long story." He dragged his fingers down his face, as if trying to pull the words out of himself.
"I never really enjoyed things. And...there was no joy in my life before Caido." He found himself staring out at the distant horizon. "I was a farmer, a librarian, a spy, a healer, and a solider in my old world. And I became strong out of necessity."
Shifting his weight, he pulled Astra fulling into his lap, stroking her fur softly, letting it anchor him even as his mind drifted to unhappy memories. "My family was always magical, and powerful. This was a threat to the kings and queens of yore. So, to prove their loyalty, my ancestors bound themselves to the royals of my world. Long, long ago." His voice was quiet and his eyes were haunted. "Through blood and magic, they swore an oath, one that ensured we would never disobey an order from one of royal blood, and that we would never harm a member of the royal family, even by accident."
Finally, he glanced at Maea. "To do so meant instant death."
loren
