That was a sharp and pointed question, and Jigano drew in a swift breath at the situation Remi put before him. "Become a god's assassin, you mean?" he asked softly, something old and dark churning behind his eyes as he regarded the alchemist with a sudden lack of expression. "... I have done so before. Killing for the gods is... no matter what they may say, I was still the one left carrying the weight of it on my soul. To this day I carry it, across portals and worlds. But I had a choice then, too. I believed that what I did was... necessary. Not right. Not good. But... I think things would have been worse for a great many people, had I not done so." He looked down at the table, surprised to see his hands clenched into fists, nails digging uncomfortably into his palms. He forced himself to draw a slower breath and relax his fingers before looking up again, some of the shadows subsided. "I don't think Ludo would ask it lightly, though. From what I've heard of Mort, I don't think he would be happy to find souls being sent to him before they'd lived their lives here fully. But if I chose to do it... I also couldn't blame Ludo for asking it. I would blame myself for be willing to do it. We might feel like pawns before the gods - might be pawns to them - but still, we make our own choices." He had taken that much from Safrin's punishment of his hubris, at least. He managed a quirk of his lips at his companion across the table, but there was little humor on it. "Though it would change me, I think. As it did before." And not for the better.
Remi had been used hard by his lovers, and Jigano nodded in understanding and agreement. He had nearly thrown Sam out of the Loreseekers when he'd heard about the bookmaker throwing his memories away. He hadn't been there when Loren had left the first time, but he'd seen something of the cycle the summoner flung himself into, lashing out at those closest to him as well as himself. It wasn't fair to anyone involved.
But fairness had little place in this world, as Aoife's death had proven. The bard glanced down at Remi's drumming fingers, idly wondering how the alchemist would do at making music--
A distraction he didn't need right now. "And now?" he asked instead, watching the young man with the old eyes like sea glass in a storm. "What purpose in making a memorial to lost souls you've never met, to be used by people you don't know?"
Remi had been used hard by his lovers, and Jigano nodded in understanding and agreement. He had nearly thrown Sam out of the Loreseekers when he'd heard about the bookmaker throwing his memories away. He hadn't been there when Loren had left the first time, but he'd seen something of the cycle the summoner flung himself into, lashing out at those closest to him as well as himself. It wasn't fair to anyone involved.
But fairness had little place in this world, as Aoife's death had proven. The bard glanced down at Remi's drumming fingers, idly wondering how the alchemist would do at making music--
A distraction he didn't need right now. "And now?" he asked instead, watching the young man with the old eyes like sea glass in a storm. "What purpose in making a memorial to lost souls you've never met, to be used by people you don't know?"
