the house that built me

'Nothing, I suppose.' Remi replied, perhaps not understanding the question, or mayhap understanding it too well. Continuing to trace the pattern on the table, not looking up, the alchemist squinted for a moment but seemed not at all to see the movements of his finger, but something else entirely. "When Safrin placed Ronin and I here, we nearly killed each other in our grief. At least I, him. I felt nothing, only emptiness and rage. I would have killed Sam if not stopped, watched Loren slit his throat right in front of me without so much as a wince. A few days ago..." The alchemist swallowed. Hard. "I threw my wedding ring into the sea." The presence on his finger now, would indicate that condolences probably weren't required. "I don't know what I am anymore. Not a father...not even an alchemist now. Not a good one, at least. I've only just started not to be quite so shit as a husband to Ronin, but passed that, I can't say that I'm much of anything, anymore. And it has been pointed out to me that if I continue like this. I'll soon have nothing left." Glancing up, looking so much older for his uncertainty, Remi shrugged. "So if, like you said, there needn't be some grand plan in all of this..then why not. Why not let Ludo give my life purpose that I might...have some reason to live." Shaking his head, the alchemist indicated he didn't know. "We all probably live on in Mort's memory. But in the world of the living, memory certainly seems the only way they continue on." remi Too long till I drown in your hands