there's a fire starting in my heart
reaching a fever pitch
As Sunjata explained, Loren couldn't help but send a pulse of sympathy and understanding through their bond. However, he didn't have the words to make it better, and another apology seemed unnecessary. So he just stayed quiet, and kept radiating the feeling that he felt that he knew what the bartender had been through.Letting out a huff of laughter that had no joy in it, the healer shook his head. "And look at us now." He gestured at his reddened eyes, and the way his frame even now looked a little too gaunt to be truly healthy. More than that, though, was the self-destructive and destructive impulses he often found himself caving to.
"So is thirteen." Rubbing the back of his neck, he shrugged. "It's all I ever knew, really. Know, even, to this day." Glancing at the bartender, the Launceleyn studied the other man's features. "Does time help?"
Nodding at the Sunjata's question, Loren bit his lip. "To some degree, yes." Picking up a rock, he tried to skip it across the pool but it sank with a plop immediately instead. "They used to drop us all off in the wilderness with nothing but our magic and our wits. Told to make our way back, or to survive for a certain amount of time. Of course, there was always someone watching us, but it felt as if we were alone. Those who failed or who were deemed too slow or unsuccessful in some way were punished. Flayed with spells and then tossed in the cells."
For a moment he shivered, and his eyes grew haunted. "I spent every night in the cells all the time I spent in the compound." It came out barely above a whisper and he had to take a deep breath before he could continue. "The stronger or smarter among us adapted quickly." He sighed. "And then they were the ones doing the punishing before long." Looking away, he kicked at the water again, angry this time. "They also had us fight, and the losers were tormented by the winners." His hands clenched into fists as the memories coursed through him, and a cold fury spilled through their link.
and it's bringing me out the dark
LOREN
