It's just the trauma talking

ashe They may say, "You're too small, you're too young to do it all," But you're a giant on the inside. They may say, "It's not enough, leave your dreams collecting dust," But there's a fire that you can't hide. Ashe bobbed her eyebrows in place of a shrug as she accepted the flask back, taking another generous drink from it before she corked it and set it down between them. She would have been all too happy to keep charging forward with topics of his new guild, to let the other thoughts go, and she had to bite back her bitter scoff. Not right for you anymore. No, she hadn't been right for him. She wasn't right for anyone. She almost said it, almost snapped aloud that it wasn't so simple as Alistair not being right for her. Everything she did and didn't do... of course he needed different things. Anything had to be better than the pain she gave him. He was free of her. That was what mattered. Still, her face warmed when Ronin pointed out her deflection. She pursed her lips and averted her eyes, eyeing that flask and suddenly wishing she’d grabbed something a little stronger than wine. ”I’m fine,” she outright lied. She hadn’t come here to complain of her pains and problems - she’d come to see him. She finally flicked her eyes back up and leaned forward to brace her arms over the table when he conceded the subject. She nodded and didn’t take her eyes from him as he explained, and one hand moved to idly stroke her finger over Soot as he slowly took in his drink. He was right - the spire demon was a powerful example of what they faced here, the dangers to everyone. Something flickered in her, an old urgency she hadn’t felt in some time. She watched his shrug and let out a long and slow breath, leaning back in her chair as she nodded. ”I know I’ve been absent,” she said. ”But I’m back… mostly.” Her eyes flickered downwards for a moment, thinking back to a few nights prior. The day following.. She didn’t want to be alone. She was trying to do better. She looked back up and took ahold of her flask again - she’d need to find herself a refill before she returned.. home. Or found herself somewhere to curl up with her tail over her nose. ”I’ll always help Ro, any way I can,” she went on, and she meant it. If there was a way for her to help without fucking up, she’d do it. In a heartbeat, she would. ”I could help against that demon guarding the spire. I don’t know about you, but I want out.” Ashe leaned forward again, some of her tension bleeding away as something distantly sparked in her eyes. Something to focus on, a real goal... ”That spire is obviously connected to all this, it has to be. I don’t believe in coincidence, and that demon is trying to keep everyone from figuring out whatever the hell that giant black spike is. If we can find a way in there, we’ll find something that could get us out of here, I know it. I know it didn’t like my lighting - it sizzled the thing like tinder.” She paused and chewed her lip a moment as her heart squeezed unexpectedly, suddenly remembering it’s razor teeth at it shrieked at her - breath smelling of rot and blood. Ronin’s blood. She took a steadying breath as she gently brushed over Soot’s spindly leg, earning her a small hiccup that sounded perhaps more like a squeak. ”It wasn’t flesh that burned when I struck it, Ronin. It cracked and it seared and it burned, but there was nothing natural about it.”