It's just the trauma talking

ashe They may say, "You're too small, you're too young to do it all," But you're a giant on the inside. They may say, "It's not enough, leave your dreams collecting dust," But there's a fire that you can't hide. Ashe let out a long sigh through her nose as her flask was set to the side, and before she could figure out what to do with her hands, Ronin clasped them within his. She stared down hard at their hands before she glanced upwards to meet the bounty hunter’s rich blue eyes. Her throat constricted, but she made herself hold his gaze. She knew she was skilled, of course she did - she was one of the best - but needed? Wanted? It wasn’t as if her family, Ronin included, didn’t know why Alistair had left her. If he was still close to them, then surely he told them all about how terrible she was to him. It was hard to fathom why any one of them would want her after that. She had been exactly the opposite of everything a wife was supposed to be. And that wasn’t even speaking to how she was with everything else she ever touched. Ashe swallowed past the lump in her throat and shook her head, glancing upwards with a bitter sort of smile. ”Do I not owe him that?” she said before turning her eyes down to Ronin once more. ”I fucked him over right? He hates me. Least I can do is stay out of his life.” She heaved a breath and glanced sidelong at her flask, but made no move to retrieve it. She worried her lower lip in her teeth as she struggled against the tightness in her chest. ”I thought staying out of everyone else’s lives was what was best too,” she admit softly, turning her eyes to the candlelight. She stayed silent for a moment, eyes prickling. Wanted. She looked back up at Ronin as she went on. ”I thought if everyone just forgot me, let go of me, it would be better…” Ashe shook her head, releasing a soft sigh as her shoulders slumped. Thinking on her last few weeks. ”I’m starting to see I was wrong. I’m… I’m trying to come back. I want to come back, but I..” She trailed off and furrowed her brow in thought. ”I’m no bounty hunter. I don’t belong with your hunters. I will fight this demon, one way or another, I will help you take it down. You’re my brother, I will never hesitate to fight at your side. You can always count on me for that, Ronin, but I.. can’t do this.” She gestured vaguely to the guildhall around them, presumably referring to joining a guild. ”Not now. Maybe not ever.”