In time you'll find, I've got baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

This time she saw him reach for her. Was ready for it, and did not flinch. There was a small hesitation though, some stubborn desire to cling on to her guilt and drag this out, keep delving deeper into that darkness, that awfulness... because it was alluring. Very comfortably shadowed and obscure, a place where you did not have to look at your weaknesses and try.

But... that would mean breaking something that was still very fragile. And Maea couldn't do that. Wouldn't allow herself to, when he was trying so hard to keep it whole, even when he was hurting and weary and only just brought back from the brink of a too-early grave.

So she swallowed hard a final time and came to him. Climbed very carefully into the cot beside him and eased herself down to let him hold her, with Haai on the other side. She didn't need to know his words to understand the will to be close, to offer comfort, because it's what Maea used to do for him. Ah, she never knew how hard it was to accept such kindness.

"You'd be... just fine. A little drunk, and in some other bed... but alright." It was meant as a joke, but came out wrong. A little too realistic. "Sorry, I... Thank you, for being alright." It was so very hard to say the right things. But she placed her hand on his chest, to feel his heartbeat against her palm. That, if nothing else, would convince her that she hadn't failed him.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

She climbs onto the cot with him, so carefully, and he wraps an arm around her to keep her close — Haai’s wing extends now to cover Maea’s shoulder and his torso, an extra blanket of sorts. And so he tries to rest his head atop hers, sighing and breathing in the salt and brine of the ocean, the very same scent that clung to him. A hint of more iron along him than was her, but he embraces it all the same.

Her joke does spark a smile to cross his face, however, even if she didn’t know what to say. The words themselves, the talking, that was good enough for him. “Mmm I could go for a nice whiskey right now.” He concedes, a quiet and exhausted humor lacing his tone. “You’re welcome.” He finally settles, trying to squeeze her shoulder into his side, regardless of the wounds that lay there. “Thank you for being there.” He aims to place a kiss to the top of her head.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

He took it better than she'd expected. Joked back about wanting whiskey, which made her snort in amusement. But then, Maea always did underestimate his sense of humor. How tolerant he was of poking fun at his own expense... A slight tension drained from her shoulders, and she settled in a bit better. Reached out a hand to pet Haai, internally apologizing for almost taking her bonded away. Oh, she had not let it go. Couldn't, and probably should not either. But at least she wasn't putting it on Sunjata anymore.

"Rum is probably the best they can offer here," she told him, something like a smile in her voice as he kissed her head. "But if I know my healers... that old man is more likely to offer you tea. Various kinds And you will not like any them."

Maea was quiet for a while. In the stillness, she could hear the swell and sigh of waves not so very far away. The light shining in from the gaps in the boarding was growing faint; it must be later than she'd thought. Sunset, almost. It had been a very strange day. Fun adventures, deep confessions... and a very dramatic escape, ending in a too-close-for-comfort rescue. Worthy of storybooks.

"So... how are you really feeling?" she asked him, and turned her head back to look at him. "Because my leg feels like a blacksmith is pounding on it with a sledgehammer. And I'm hungry." Painfully, nauseatingly hungry... the kind that came when tension drained and you were finally allowed to feel again.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

Poking fun at his expense was basically all the Senzaok had left. He’d gotten used to it, changed from the feeling it getting defensive about anything relating to his habits or hobbies because they were true, and he wasn’t in denial of it anymore. Parts were messed up, sure, but they worked for him. And that’s all he particularly cared about.

But she snorts and relaxes a small amount, and it soothes that part of him that wants to rampage at the unfairness of it all, the unfairness within him that had snuck out at the worst time. And he tries to push it away, feeling it within him writhing again and again. “Ugh.” He comments about the tea, leaning back into the pillow and sighing lightly, hand squeezing her shoulder gently. The silence overtakes them and his lids feel heavy again, with the warmth of her and Haai and the blanket and the swollen wounds along his body.

He focuses on a spot between the boards where he can see the fading light when she asks how he’s really feeling, explains what her pains accurately feel like. And he’s silent for a heartbeat more. “I feel like I did when I got shot, but combined with the feeling of someone taking a sharp knife to my back every time I breathe.” He snorts but results in a small wince at that. Finally, he looks down to her with some reserved humor in his steel gaze. “And I really want a cigarette.”

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

"Poor wounded boy," she said softly, with some real sympathy behind the teasing words. "I would offer to kiss it better for you... but I'm not sure you would survive the excitement." He did get a kiss anyway though. On the cheek. And a sweet, chaste one on the lips. But though Maea wanted to keep it up for her own sake, for the comfort of it, she restrained herself. Kept still and quiet, trying to jostle him as little as possible.

"Times like these, I really wish I could heal," she sighed. "Then you would be on your feet in no time, and we could go back home." Like Loren, like Jigano. But all Maea could do was supply them with endless amounts of water, and what good was that? Wings that didn't work, telekinesis that couldn't carry enough... There was an impatient itch between her shoulders to get back to school, to study, meditate and keep searching for more power in herself.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

He snorts to her as she teases him, but he can tell the sympathy that lingers in the words. “I wouldn’t. I’d be tearing open the wounds just to get to you.” A playful wink given to her as she kisses his cheek and then a soft chaste one to his lips. And he’s quiet for a moment longer, listening to the faint rhythm of the waves in the distance.

“I think…” He begins, lifting his arm to brush back her hair. “That I’ve relied on healing magic a lot lately. We didn’t have it in Korofi, though we had more advanced technology.” A considering thought. “Sometimes it’s good to not have that to fall back on, as much as I hate to admit it. That’s why when I was sick I refused to be healed.” He trails off again with a small sigh, tilting his head away to look along the wall behind where she had originally sat.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

She smiled against his lips, cattily smug and pleased with his comment. Perhaps she was that much a woman at least... more than happy to hear to what lengths someone would go to have her. Gold star, fishboy.

His words about the healing brought Maea the same mixed feelings as before though, and she settled onto his shoulder, eyes closing to the feeling of his fingers brushing away strands of white hair from her face. "On the one hand, I think it's silly to drag out someone's pain and suffering just for the sake of it," she mused. "Because it doesn't make anyone happy. Not you, nor the people who love you. But..." She chewed on it, tried to find the words to describe her recent realizations. "Perhaps... the pain can be a lesson too. One that doesn't really... hit home unless you have to suffer the consequences of your actions."

She thought of her challenge with Loren. How she'd been soundly beaten, crushed even, but also dealt grievous inuries to him... and then he had healed both of them right back up again. Had she really learned anything from it? Other than the idiotic danger of a notion that she could always go all out and there would be no lasting damage done to anyone?

"I guess... you're learning the consequences of jumping into a shiver of sharks all on your own, today" she summarized, rather dryly. "And I'm learning the dangers of being overconfident, thinking I can save anyone at any time, just because I've come into some power..."

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

He listens to her musings, of how it’s silly to drag out pain when it could be over sooner — but she’s right, in the end. Some lessons had to be learned. Hard. He inhales deeply, breath hitching as his muscles expand against a wound and the throbbing begins anew. “It feels like home. And as much as home was shitty… I miss it sometimes.” An honest answer, that there were parts of it that he missed immensely — a family broad and wide that he’d incorporated himself into, who had his back when things went south.

Because they always did for him. He was a walking bad luck charm, it seemed like.

A small smile sparks against the pain he feels when she comments on it. “I was over confident too.” He rumbles quietly, shifting in the bed a small amount as his hip starts to fall asleep. He hisses against it before he manages to turn somewhat onto his side and look at her. “You can’t save everyone.” Nobody could. Not even the gods could. “But you can train to get better and make a difference.”

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

There was a time when Maea had another place to come back to as well. A time with family, with familiar buildings and private little customs and traditions that made up home. And though she had lost it in a different sense than Sunjata, she could still relate to missing what had been. Not all of it, certainly, because she wanted the bleak hopelessness as little as he wanted the cruelty and dangers, but... there had been good too. So she nodded, understanding clear in her expression as she opened her eyes again to look at him.

"We could train more," she suggested, reaching up a hand to brush strands of salt-crusted locks from his face. Touched his face, when the pain of shifting in the bed drew lines over his face she hadn't noticed before. "Not just individually, but together. Learn to cooperate better, so we become a team. That way, we'll be safer. Both of us." And at the very least, they might be able to protect one another.

It was a place to start. A way to remedy their shared lack of good fortunes. Two negatives could become a positive, if added together in the proper way.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

“Yes.” He agrees, leaning into her touch a small amount and tearing his gaze away from the wall when he goes to turn to face her and give her more room. He hums a small amount of discomfort, but Haai curls up carefully around his lower back, keeping the wounds free that have begun to seep a small amount more. He doesn’t particularly notice, knowing that it would happen regardless because of having to move.

But a small ghost of a smirk crosses his face. “But maybe when I don’t feel like someone’s stabbing me every three seconds.” He says, nestling his head into the small pillow. He drapes an arm over her before sighing quietly. “It’ll be worse tomorrow.” He says with some amount of sadness, a faltering pillar that he usually held together so well — crumbling with pain and the inability to move.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

She cooed softly at him, her fingers delving deeper into his hair. Gently parting the strands that had tangled together, dragging her fingernails over his scalp. Careful not to tug, but consistent, persistent. "I can wait," Maea assured him. Shifted herself up higher, so that he could rest on her shoulder if he wanted, instead of the poor excuse for a pillow. Still with his arm around her, just... reversing the roles a bit, of who was offering comfort to whom.

"I'll ask the healer tomorrow if he can't look at you again," she offered. "The knee at the very least... So you don't have to stay cooped up here while recovering." For now though, a good night's rest might do more good. And a proper breakfast... as they hadn't eaten more than clams since this morning.

There was the matter of exactly where they were too... and how to get back. But those were concerns for a later time. "Try to sleep some more, if you can." Leaning in, she kissed his forehead. "We're safe, and I'm not going anywhere."

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

A soft hum of agreement is given to her as she shifts to let him use her as a pillow, and he does — resting his head along her skin, pulling the blankets up close and nestling in with his arm around her still but in a space where his head rests along her shoulder and the top of her chest. Content, comfortable enough.

“Alright.” He rumbles to her in agreement of both statements. That she could seek out the healer, that she wasn’t going anywhere, that he should get some sleep. All of those he believes, and he tries for her, though thankfully it doesn’t take much before his breaths deepen in a peaceful sleep.

Only, it doesn’t last. Because of course it doesn’t. And something with the way the wounds to his back and legs are, trigger nightmares long since gone. Ones he hasn’t had in years. And it’s likely been some time of peaceful quiet, quiet snores, deep breaths, before they hitch and he shifts his head, moving away to roll onto his back that only triggers it more.

Hands clench, and he tilts his head back in the pillow. Within the dream, it's his father pressing him back in such a way that keeps him held. The nightmare isn’t accurate to how it all went down, but that’s the strange part of dreams. To shift and adjust based off surroundings. And in this dream, his fathers the one that holds the knife to his throat.

His breathing picks up and his voice is rough, gravelly, parched and dry. “I know. I know.” The sound of a man backing down, fresh heartbreak in his voice. But there’s some silence there too, as if he’s listening, hearing the words his father spits back at him. “It changes nothing, you know that right? Nothing.” There’s a hint of venom in his exhausted tone that Maea’s likely never heard before, but he doesn’t realize he’s talking at all — too deep in the throes of the nightmare.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

It did not take long before he was asleep, and her hands stilled in his hair when the breaths turned slow and even. Maea tried to settle as well, but sleep did not come as easy for her. Between the hunger and her throbbing leg, it was hard to settle. Hard to drift off too, when the hurt from his rough tone still sat there in her chest. She just couldn't seem to let it go, even though she really wanted to.

She had at least begun to doze when Sunjata shifted in his sleep. Turned over to his back, the peace gone from his face. Her own nightmares rarely surfaced when he was there, staved off by his warm presence, but she'd had enough of them to recognize what she saw. What he was going through. Weary and wanting to sleep herself, the girl wasn't sure what to do. Wake him up? But no, someone once told her it was bad to wake people in nightmares.

So she just tightened her grip on him, a hand reaching up to touch his hair again. Offering what quiet comfort she could, hoping it would get through, somehow.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

She touches his hair, and it causes him to flinch, head shaking with more panting breaths. Sweat beads over his skin, and he feels surprisingly cold throughout it all, arms trembling — though whether it’s from pain or his dream is hard to discern. Regardless, it’s clear that whatever is going on in his dream isn’t good.

“No.” A rumble through clenched teeth. “You won’t do it… Value the line too much… I loved her but it doesn’t matter, because none of it matters...” He trails off, parts slipping into Korofi, in a deep rumbling dance between the two of them, tears slipping from eyes that had been shut so tight. “I’m not like you.” a few seconds later it silence and a hushed hitch of his breath, and it’s enough to jar him awake, to push himself up despite the screaming of his back — the way the fierceness of the way he moved had caused the bandages to tinge red again, and he draws himself into him, not realizing where he was, who was with him, head in his hands.

He’s still not quite entirely there, seeing it play out behind his lids, fingers curling into his hair and horns and fur sprouting along his skin as he tries to catch his breath, body flexing against the bandages in the rampant attempt.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too