Maea
give me shelter, or show me heart
He apologized again. The hand left her knee, and she felt something gray and dusty crawl through her. Like guilt, like weariness and the taste of old fear. Of course he was cranky. Injured, tired, in pain... and here she was, whining about her own problems. Expecting him to behave like normal, to remain the steady rock, the calm, cocky, confident Sunjata... how arrogant of her. Jigano was right, she really was inconsiderate.
Maea took a deep breath, and pushed the hurt back. Swallowed it, stuffed it away. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter. Don't make it about you. Looking up, she did meet his gaze. Saw the emotions reflected there, the genuine regret, the fear of pushing her away. Ah, it made her feel even more guilty.
But at least she did not have to fake the smile. It was small, yes, and only just reached the eyes... but it was there.
"I'm tired too," she told him. Tried for that understanding she usually was so good at. "And I was afraid... I thought I'd lose you. You were bleeding so much, and I-I... couldn't do anything." Her voice cracked and she had to look away again, but only to blink her eyes dry. To steady herself with deep breaths. The helpless frustration was there again, and along with it came the guilt. The knowing that if he had died... it would be on her. Because she had been there, unable to protect him. Unable to save her most important person.
No doubt he could relate to that.
Maea took a deep breath, and pushed the hurt back. Swallowed it, stuffed it away. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter. Don't make it about you. Looking up, she did meet his gaze. Saw the emotions reflected there, the genuine regret, the fear of pushing her away. Ah, it made her feel even more guilty.
But at least she did not have to fake the smile. It was small, yes, and only just reached the eyes... but it was there.
"I'm tired too," she told him. Tried for that understanding she usually was so good at. "And I was afraid... I thought I'd lose you. You were bleeding so much, and I-I... couldn't do anything." Her voice cracked and she had to look away again, but only to blink her eyes dry. To steady herself with deep breaths. The helpless frustration was there again, and along with it came the guilt. The knowing that if he had died... it would be on her. Because she had been there, unable to protect him. Unable to save her most important person.
No doubt he could relate to that.
watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep
and I'll be yours to keep
