In time you'll find, I've got baggage too

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

Poking fun at his expense was basically all the Senzaok had left. He’d gotten used to it, changed from the feeling it getting defensive about anything relating to his habits or hobbies because they were true, and he wasn’t in denial of it anymore. Parts were messed up, sure, but they worked for him. And that’s all he particularly cared about.

But she snorts and relaxes a small amount, and it soothes that part of him that wants to rampage at the unfairness of it all, the unfairness within him that had snuck out at the worst time. And he tries to push it away, feeling it within him writhing again and again. “Ugh.” He comments about the tea, leaning back into the pillow and sighing lightly, hand squeezing her shoulder gently. The silence overtakes them and his lids feel heavy again, with the warmth of her and Haai and the blanket and the swollen wounds along his body.

He focuses on a spot between the boards where he can see the fading light when she asks how he’s really feeling, explains what her pains accurately feel like. And he’s silent for a heartbeat more. “I feel like I did when I got shot, but combined with the feeling of someone taking a sharp knife to my back every time I breathe.” He snorts but results in a small wince at that. Finally, he looks down to her with some reserved humor in his steel gaze. “And I really want a cigarette.”

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too