Her smile warmed a touch, and some color crept over her face at the tease, gentle or not. She never was very good at concealing her emotions at the best of times, and with Jigano, Maea didn't even try. His concern was too genuine, his support much appreciated... and she only really knew half the depths of his sentiment. Had she known his thought, the girl might have cried from gratitude as well, for being allowed to make her own mistakes.
"I'll... try to keep that in mind," she promised. "It's hard though, when I never looked for this kind of thing, or even really wanted it. I had a plan, I had goals, and then he swept in like... like that Flood he's named for, and suddenly I can't think straight. I forget everything else when he's around, and when he's not... it all feels so pointless. Why did I go to Halo, why do I stay at the Academy, why do I do anything at all..." She made a hapless gesture with her hands, sounding more than a little frustrated. Which was a welcome change from the sadness, because it let her question things. Both her motives, and his.
She was coming dangerously close to pinning the meaning of her whole existance onto another person... and that was not a trap Maea ever wanted to fall into. People died. People left. People could hurt you far more than any natural disasters Caido could manage... and it was so hard to stay away from them, when they also were capable of bringing more joy than anything else.
Pushing a lock of wet, white hair back from her face, she looked up at her friend. "Do you ever feel lost? Lose track of what you are doing, and why?"
Maea
this too shall pass
