Maea
And time it waits for no one
It heals them when you die
It heals them when you die
She looked doubtful, but didn't contradict him. It certainly felt like it should be true, when someone who claimed to love you told you things like that. If Sunjata looked at her and only saw selfishness... then... how could he be wrong?
Again the soothing hand on her shoulder. Maea felt it burn against her skin, through the fabric of her clothes, and she wondered if she was the one being cold, or if all men had fire in their veins. Well... not all, she supposed. Amun's hands were quite cool.
"Hopefully... I was able to do that, at least," she sighed. Not wholly without judgement, of course, because what human could ever do that? But she hadn't held anything against Sunjata. Not his dreadful past, nor his present mistakes, or even the guild that allowed him to keep crawling through the shadows and remain the wretched wreck that tortured him so much. "I always listened, and I always stayed. Promised I wouldn't let him push me away, that I wouldn't go anywhere. But now..."
She tilted her head back, eyes closed. Tried to see anything past the swirling black pits of misery.
"Right now? Turn back time, so I can redo that whole awful day. Or at least keep from saying a lot of the things I said, and do what I did. If I'd just kept my mouth shut... But that won't happen, I suppose." Sighing, Maea pulled her knees up to her chest, looking very small and very tired where she sat.
"So I guess... I want to fix things. Or move past them at least. Try to work things out. I want to be with him, because... I genuinely think we could be good. I just... I don't want to share him, with anyone. But if that's the only way I get to stay with him... the... maybe I'm the one who need to swallow my stupid pride and... stop being a prude. Stop being naive, too, since that's also a thing now...
"I know I should just let go and let him do whatever, but don't want to. The more he tries to back away, the more I want to cling on, and the more I do that, the more he feels trapped. And I... I don't know what he wants. I'm not Lusea, I can't take her place.
"It's just... a fucking mess."
If Loren was hesitant, Maea was lost. She leveled her gaze at him, and it was like an echo of the way he'd stared at her on a rooftop not so very long ago. Dark and haunted and tired, desperate for someone to tell her what to do.
The only difference was that she hadn't given up on life. Not yet, at least. There was still a far way to fall before she came to that point.
Again the soothing hand on her shoulder. Maea felt it burn against her skin, through the fabric of her clothes, and she wondered if she was the one being cold, or if all men had fire in their veins. Well... not all, she supposed. Amun's hands were quite cool.
"Hopefully... I was able to do that, at least," she sighed. Not wholly without judgement, of course, because what human could ever do that? But she hadn't held anything against Sunjata. Not his dreadful past, nor his present mistakes, or even the guild that allowed him to keep crawling through the shadows and remain the wretched wreck that tortured him so much. "I always listened, and I always stayed. Promised I wouldn't let him push me away, that I wouldn't go anywhere. But now..."
She tilted her head back, eyes closed. Tried to see anything past the swirling black pits of misery.
"Right now? Turn back time, so I can redo that whole awful day. Or at least keep from saying a lot of the things I said, and do what I did. If I'd just kept my mouth shut... But that won't happen, I suppose." Sighing, Maea pulled her knees up to her chest, looking very small and very tired where she sat.
"So I guess... I want to fix things. Or move past them at least. Try to work things out. I want to be with him, because... I genuinely think we could be good. I just... I don't want to share him, with anyone. But if that's the only way I get to stay with him... the... maybe I'm the one who need to swallow my stupid pride and... stop being a prude. Stop being naive, too, since that's also a thing now...
"I know I should just let go and let him do whatever, but don't want to. The more he tries to back away, the more I want to cling on, and the more I do that, the more he feels trapped. And I... I don't know what he wants. I'm not Lusea, I can't take her place.
"It's just... a fucking mess."
If Loren was hesitant, Maea was lost. She leveled her gaze at him, and it was like an echo of the way he'd stared at her on a rooftop not so very long ago. Dark and haunted and tired, desperate for someone to tell her what to do.
The only difference was that she hadn't given up on life. Not yet, at least. There was still a far way to fall before she came to that point.
And soon you are forgotten
A whisper within a sigh
A whisper within a sigh
