Maea
And time it waits for no one
It heals them when you die
It heals them when you die
She kept looking at him, face still and wary as he responded. Asking questions that made pain flare up in her eyes, reiterating that he wasn't good at this either. Maea snorted softly at that, unable to disagree. And she didn't really know anything about Loren's past histories, aside from a few names dropped.
"The worst... would be to never see him again. To know he grew to hate me, never spoke to me again, and died in some far away place without ever getting a chance to try. To know that the last words we spoke were made in anger." Again the tears, again the wiping away of them; her cheeks felt raw from the angry scrub of her hands, the eyes bruised.
"Thing is, Loren? I never knew what would make me happy. Not really. How do I strive for something when I don't know what it looks like? For a moment, I got to dream about something that was both real and achievable. A house by the sea, together with someone who's a little broken and a little lost, just like me. I could dream that. I could be happy in that." Sniffling, she rubbed her nose. Used the cloth dropped on the bed beside her to wipe at her cheeks, when her sleeves came off damp.
"Now though... I don't know. What is good for me? What do I actually deserve? It feels like everyone has an opinion of that, some kind of vision of who I am and are supposed to be, and no one really listens to what I want. Does it even matter, when I'm not likely to get it, anyway?"
Maea draped her arm around Astra, the little body warm and firm against hers. Shii's mind tangled with hers, offered what mental embrace its presence could not give physically... and yet it wasn't enough.
"The worst... would be to never see him again. To know he grew to hate me, never spoke to me again, and died in some far away place without ever getting a chance to try. To know that the last words we spoke were made in anger." Again the tears, again the wiping away of them; her cheeks felt raw from the angry scrub of her hands, the eyes bruised.
"Thing is, Loren? I never knew what would make me happy. Not really. How do I strive for something when I don't know what it looks like? For a moment, I got to dream about something that was both real and achievable. A house by the sea, together with someone who's a little broken and a little lost, just like me. I could dream that. I could be happy in that." Sniffling, she rubbed her nose. Used the cloth dropped on the bed beside her to wipe at her cheeks, when her sleeves came off damp.
"Now though... I don't know. What is good for me? What do I actually deserve? It feels like everyone has an opinion of that, some kind of vision of who I am and are supposed to be, and no one really listens to what I want. Does it even matter, when I'm not likely to get it, anyway?"
Maea draped her arm around Astra, the little body warm and firm against hers. Shii's mind tangled with hers, offered what mental embrace its presence could not give physically... and yet it wasn't enough.
And soon you are forgotten
A whisper within a sigh
A whisper within a sigh
