Maea
And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain
But take the pain
"I... yes, of course they count. Most of the relations I have with others are so fresh though. There's nothing to really fall back on, yet." Maea gave the will-o-wisp a rueful glance, so used to it trailing along in her wake already that she hadn't thought to present it to Delphia. But the wisp didn't seem to care, just drifted over to the other woman and made a loop around her head, its light pulsing curiously.
"I call it Shii," she offered. "It remembers you, from the night with the Cat Sith. It bonded to me when I went to see Ludo afterwards." Twirling a lock of hair between her fingers, she mulled over what Delphia said. The suggestion that she clung to some idea of love for Sunjata, rather than had actual feelings.
"I hope I don't do that," she said quietly. "I didn't go looking for it, at least. I just liked talking to him... and before I knew it, the moments I couldn't share with him became dull, and when he was around the world seemed more colorful. More... alive. And I miss him, when he's not near." Her shoulders rose and fell, helpless to describe it any better. How everything felt good and right and easy when she shared it with him, and how gray, empty and pointless it became without his thoughts, his voice, the gleam in his eyes...
"I suppose, what really gets in the way is this... idea that I want him to be mine? That I can somehow keep him, make him part of myself and never let go... And when I can't, I get jealous. And he... still loves another. One he lost, and found, and lost again. I think... you spoke to her spirit, before? In Halo."
Maea looked up, searching Delphia's face to see if the description sparked any recognition. She could of course just say the names, but... for once, this was all about her. And her own feelings.
She smiled slightly at the joke - running with a Cat Sith through a haunted forest was not the kind of thing you forgot easily - but still eased herself down from the rock, and came over to stand beside Delphia. Ready to listen, and learn, and try to let go of these... heavy clouds that kept fogging her mind. It was a gloom that had lingered over her ever since the first heated argument with Sunjata, and it just wouldn't go away. Fear, anger and guilt, it kept poisoning everything, sucking the joy out of even the things that should be happy.
"Thank you, Delphia. What do I do?" Maea took off Ludo's shawl and set it aside, ready to do whatever she was instructed to.
"I call it Shii," she offered. "It remembers you, from the night with the Cat Sith. It bonded to me when I went to see Ludo afterwards." Twirling a lock of hair between her fingers, she mulled over what Delphia said. The suggestion that she clung to some idea of love for Sunjata, rather than had actual feelings.
"I hope I don't do that," she said quietly. "I didn't go looking for it, at least. I just liked talking to him... and before I knew it, the moments I couldn't share with him became dull, and when he was around the world seemed more colorful. More... alive. And I miss him, when he's not near." Her shoulders rose and fell, helpless to describe it any better. How everything felt good and right and easy when she shared it with him, and how gray, empty and pointless it became without his thoughts, his voice, the gleam in his eyes...
"I suppose, what really gets in the way is this... idea that I want him to be mine? That I can somehow keep him, make him part of myself and never let go... And when I can't, I get jealous. And he... still loves another. One he lost, and found, and lost again. I think... you spoke to her spirit, before? In Halo."
Maea looked up, searching Delphia's face to see if the description sparked any recognition. She could of course just say the names, but... for once, this was all about her. And her own feelings.
She smiled slightly at the joke - running with a Cat Sith through a haunted forest was not the kind of thing you forgot easily - but still eased herself down from the rock, and came over to stand beside Delphia. Ready to listen, and learn, and try to let go of these... heavy clouds that kept fogging her mind. It was a gloom that had lingered over her ever since the first heated argument with Sunjata, and it just wouldn't go away. Fear, anger and guilt, it kept poisoning everything, sucking the joy out of even the things that should be happy.
"Thank you, Delphia. What do I do?" Maea took off Ludo's shawl and set it aside, ready to do whatever she was instructed to.
Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay
You choose to stay
