Maea
And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain
But take the pain
Maea wanted to argue that she had no such traditions to share. But the fragments of a conversation with Amalia in the snowfall of Halo came to mind, an offer extended to Weaver to share old family recipes. She thought of promises made with Sunjata, with Loren... and perhaps it wasn't exactly traditions, but at least it was something. So she smiled ruefully, bowing her head under the suggestion. "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm being too negative."
And that didn't really stop when her explanation of Sunjata's motives resulted in a very heavy sounding sigh. A sound quite rare from her friend, followed by a message that was quite sharp and very difficult to hear. Protests mounted within her, arguments against that very drastic judgement crowding on her tongue. What did Delphia know of Sunjata's love? How could it not be real, when she saw it in his eyes, felt it in the gentleness of his hands? In the very pain it brought him to make decisions that opened distances between them, for the good of them both?
She held her tongue though, let her silence speak for her of the doubt she felt over this verdict. Instead Maea closed her eyes and tried to gather her thoughts, shift them away from Delphia and Sunjata, towards her family. She thought of her brother, Noah, with the bright blue eyes and the warm smile, who had been her best friend and fiercest ally. Of her father, Ruben, with strong hands and firm beliefs, hiding a heart of gold under a mask of strict devotion and stoic acceptance of the status quo. Of her grandfather, Marten, a priest and farmer, infinitely wise, with humor glittering in mischievous eyes, eternally young. And... her heart called for her mother, whom she had never met, didn't recall or know, but needed more than ever these days.
'I miss you,' Maea thought, reaching for them all. 'I wish I could speak to you. Wish I could hear your voices again... hear what you think of all this. The changes I've made. The tangled mess of a love I've stumbled into. You would have disapproved, wouldn't you, father. Because he's an outlander, and less than morally just. But Safrin attuned him, so perhaps that would be a saving grace? Noah, he's not hurting me on purpose, so don't worry, I'll be fine. You would have grown to like him, especially if you got to wrestle with him a few times. Grandfather.. you would have joined him at the bar, shared drinks and coaxed all the secrets out of him, I know that. Been the father figure he deserves, and an ally throughout everything. For us both.'
A sad, wry smile crossed her lips. Maea relaxed into the task, her restless hands stilling in her lap. Tears welled up in her eyes, the presence of memories she'd repressed so long both painful and overwhelming... but it felt good too. Clearer than ever.
And that didn't really stop when her explanation of Sunjata's motives resulted in a very heavy sounding sigh. A sound quite rare from her friend, followed by a message that was quite sharp and very difficult to hear. Protests mounted within her, arguments against that very drastic judgement crowding on her tongue. What did Delphia know of Sunjata's love? How could it not be real, when she saw it in his eyes, felt it in the gentleness of his hands? In the very pain it brought him to make decisions that opened distances between them, for the good of them both?
She held her tongue though, let her silence speak for her of the doubt she felt over this verdict. Instead Maea closed her eyes and tried to gather her thoughts, shift them away from Delphia and Sunjata, towards her family. She thought of her brother, Noah, with the bright blue eyes and the warm smile, who had been her best friend and fiercest ally. Of her father, Ruben, with strong hands and firm beliefs, hiding a heart of gold under a mask of strict devotion and stoic acceptance of the status quo. Of her grandfather, Marten, a priest and farmer, infinitely wise, with humor glittering in mischievous eyes, eternally young. And... her heart called for her mother, whom she had never met, didn't recall or know, but needed more than ever these days.
'I miss you,' Maea thought, reaching for them all. 'I wish I could speak to you. Wish I could hear your voices again... hear what you think of all this. The changes I've made. The tangled mess of a love I've stumbled into. You would have disapproved, wouldn't you, father. Because he's an outlander, and less than morally just. But Safrin attuned him, so perhaps that would be a saving grace? Noah, he's not hurting me on purpose, so don't worry, I'll be fine. You would have grown to like him, especially if you got to wrestle with him a few times. Grandfather.. you would have joined him at the bar, shared drinks and coaxed all the secrets out of him, I know that. Been the father figure he deserves, and an ally throughout everything. For us both.'
A sad, wry smile crossed her lips. Maea relaxed into the task, her restless hands stilling in her lap. Tears welled up in her eyes, the presence of memories she'd repressed so long both painful and overwhelming... but it felt good too. Clearer than ever.
Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay
You choose to stay
