Shattered Windows, Broken Locks

Ashe wept, and Kalt held her. At some point her arms wrapped around his middle, and she held herself to him tightly - maybe too tightly. She was gasping and shaking and clenching her teeth as she held onto him. And he kept a secure hold of her, even as she seemed to entirely collapse in on herself. There was something opening wide in her chest, and she couldn't tell if it was a relief or not - for this part of her to fracture in such a different way.     Kalt kept her together. He was unwavering and immovable, and she wasn’t sure she could hold on any tighter. She didn’t know how long it took for her tears to slow, for her breathing to settle out of the breaking sobs, but soon she was leaning more on him than clinging, her head resting over his heart as he brushed tears from her cheek, softly moved his fingers into her hair. ’I promised you I would keep her safe.’ Ashe let out a shaking breath and turned into him, holding onto the sound of his voice as it hummed from his chest and into her.     She was ashamed. More than ashamed. As much as Ashe tried to figure out where she went wrong… it didn’t matter in the end, did it? No matter how she failed, she did, and the consequences of that had been insurmountable.     He kissed her head and fell silent for a moment, and Ashe made herself take a slow and deep breath with him. She was glad she did as Kalt began to speak again, answering the question she had been too afraid to ask: How? Her grip tightened on him as her heart started racing. He had walked in when Master was holding Theea. She didn’t remember that. She didn’t remember him touching her, even getting near her. Her ears started to ring as she tried to grasp onto what Kalt described, but.. what she remembered was hazy and like looking at the sun for too long.     With a few rapid and plunging breaths that ripped her away from those memories, she focused on what he told her about Theea. As he spoke she was reviewing all the moment she’d recently had with the girl, and with is breath of a laugh came fresh tears rolling down her cheeks… but she smiled, just barely. She’s fucking amazing. Ashe moved her head so her forehead was pressed against Kalt’s chest, breathing in the smell of him before releasing the slow and trembling breath against his skin.     The assassin didn’t move away from Silver Wing, and she tried not to consider the fact that she was allowing herself to use him as a support - between that night terror and this, she was drained before she sun had even fully risen. ”I’m sorry,” she said quietly. She lifted her head to finally look up at him, her brows pulled together. ”I know I never said it before, after -” She broke off, her heart stuttering. Though she had thought it an infinite amount of times, she had never said it to him, not for this. Not during those five weeks they spent together. Not after. ”I’m sorry I lost her. I…”     She trailed off and pressed her lips together before she looked away from him and to the shut door. The longing was palpable, but she was rooted in place. Her voice came out nearly in a whisper, ”Kalt, I can’t...” Theea was right in that room. She had held her hand, she had smeared paint all over Ashe, she had spoken to her.. And she had done something terrible, let her down, and if she had never taken that baby to Kalt’s room that night, if he hadn’t been there to rescue her what Ashe was caught..     The raven-haired girl stepped back - not quite out of his reach, but she looked away from the door and back up to Kalt. ”I can’t do this to her, to either of you,” she said quietly, as if the toddler in the other room would walk out any minute. Her lip trembled with the threat of tears again. ”I fucked up, Kalt, dangerously. I risked both of your lives, lost you both because I was such a selfish, idiot fucking girl - I can’t expose her to that. To me.” Ashetta