Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
As he thanks her, she begins to realize just how much he had been worried about telling her this. It’s not that she can’t see why, she can. His past is pretty ugly. The more she learns about him, the more she realizes just how ugly. Yet, if they judged everyone by their past mistakes, the world would be in fucking shambles. She cared about current actions and future intentions.
”You don’t start by trying to change their minds, or hell, even yours possibly. You just start by changing the way you act.” That is what it came down, in the end. Yes, she cared about intentions, but your intentions could be as shiny as gold and if you didn’t act, then all you had was painted coal. ”You don’t do the things you necessarily want to do, you do the things you have to do. And you just keep doing them, and sometimes you stuff your damn feelings until you finally actually start to feel and believe you are the person you have been acting like.”
Loren knew Weaver was right. Indeed, the look he gave her indicated that he was fully aware that he had a long and hard road ahead of him. Taking a deep breath, he let it out with a huff. "So. Given that I'm willing to try, and you, gods help you, seem willing to help me...how have I been doing so far?" Although his tone was wry, his expression was equal parts curious and hopeful.
Indeed, the darkness had fled him entirely. In its place, it had left a very tired, very young looking man who very much just wanted a break from everything that life had thrown at him.
Weaver chuckles at the question, largely at the ‘gods help you’, partly because it was funny and partly because it was true. It was a good thing she had a lot of practice with boys already, having grown up with two brothers, and a whole lot of patience to boot. ”Well I don’t see you much outside our little chats, but I’d say you are doing okay.” Okay in the sense of not bad, but with some room for improvement.
She can see the tired, beat up young man before her, and some part of wishes she could just fix it for him. But life doesn’t work that way, and even if it did, having someone else solve your problems never really helped you in the long run. ”You are the hardest working member on the council, so I know you are doing stuff, but at some point, you have to let go of the past. You carry it like a ten ton weight you drag behind you.” That didn’t mean you forgot it, but rather, that you learned to accept it and move on.
Smiling faintly at Weaver's assessment, Loren nodded. "Thanks." Then he gave her an awkward look. "And you? How are you doing? Generally. Or specifically, I guess..." Voice trailing off, he rubbed his palm against his thigh.
Hesitating, he shifted his weight awkwardly from side to side. "I know." It came out in an almost exasperated tone. Shrugging, he ran a hand through his hair. "It's just...it's barely the past."
Meeting her gaze squarely, he bit his lip. "The stuff with my family? Lasted until two years ago, when I came to Caido. Then I lost my mind for a year. The rest of it?" He spread his arms a bit helplessly. "It all happened over the past year." It wasn't an excuse or an explanation even, just the truth.
”Me?” she says, almost surprised to be talking about her. Not in a judgmental sort of way, but rather that there just always seemed to be more to talk about where Loren was involved. Her life was kind of boring, all things considered, though that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. ”Fine, really. Just busy with the Kraai, which I mean, I suppose I expected.” she says, chuckling slightly. Building a business wasn’t going to be easy, after all. ”I am excited to look through the recipes, too. Do some of the things Maea and I had planned.” Even if it will not be the same without her friend, still, it would be enjoyable.
She listens as he puts a timeline on his ‘past’, and she nods with some understanding. ”But it is still the past, and it is the sort of thing you wish to leave behind. It gets easier, with time. Never easy, for nothing in life is ever easy. At least, nothing good is. But it does get easier.” It’s the best assurance she can give. She won’t lie and say that time heals all wounds, but it does make them less ugly. Time can mend broken relationships too, and though they may always bear the cracks, it is often those cracks that hold them together in the end.
As Weaver spoke about herself, Loren listened. Honestly, it was a nice change of pace. "Let me know if I can help, yeah? With the Kraai, or anything you planned with Maea." His voice wavered a bit as he mentioned their lost friend, but he managed to smile at the end. Then he tilted his head and gave the bartender a curious look. "How's your magic?"
Nodding, he ran a hand through his hair. "Then I'll give it time." It sounded like a platitude, and he gave her an apologetic look at that. But he meant it. "And thank you. For listening to me bitch and moan without judgment." His tone was truly and deeply grateful.
”I may take you up on that when I inevitably get stuck. Or maybe when I just need someone to taste test this stuff.” Because let's be real, it’s not all going to turn out good right away. Honest feedback would be useful.
She shrugs slightly at the magic question. ”I can heal basic cuts, apparently. And I can sense the air, though I can’t really do much of anything with it yet.” Which wasn’t unlike her fire at first, when she could do little more than feel it and make the candles flicker and dance. Still, she turns her attention to the table and manages to flutter a paper slightly. ”More than before, anyway.”
His statement might sound like a platitude, but sometimes those sorts of things were true and necessary. Weaver gives him a nod and a slight smile, something real and serious there, if only for a moment. Her grin spreads, looking more like her usual mischievous self. ”You are just lucky I like you.”
As Weaver brought up taste testing, Loren just grinned. "Better me than anyone else. Besides I probably deserve your concoctions for one reason or other." Letting out a huff of laughter, he nodded. "But yes, I'd be happy to help you however you need." Actually, he was weirdly happy about the prospect of doing something as simple as helping her with the Kraai.
Giving her an excited look, he practically beamed at the news. "That's fantastic news! Sounds like you have basic air and healing magic." Then his expression grew a bit sly. "Don't suppose you'd let me take you on as an apprentice too." He gave her a pathetically hopeful look, puppy dog eyes and all, though he was clearly more amused than begging. Then his expression grew thoughtful. "And your fire magic?" It had been her weakest magic in the training they'd both been in, so he was curious how it had grown.
Nudging her with a shoulder, he smiled too. "I like you too." He throttled down the embarrassment such a simple expression brought up, though his cheeks colored slightly anyway.
”Probably do,” she agrees. It’s irrelevant if it’s actually true, she would agree with that statement regardless. That’s the sort of friend Weaver is. What a great friend. They would have more then enough time on their hands with Deepfrost soon for tasting drinks anyway. It was dark more often than it wasn’t, and despite whatever duties Loren would have to attend to or the business Weaver would have, there would still be time. They spent a lot of time sitting by the fire in the evenings, talking, drinking, telling stories. When you couldn’t go out and you couldn’t hunt, you eventually started to relax a little. There were only so many chores anyone really wanted to do.
Weaver chuckles at his sly grin. ”I’m a busy lady with a bar now,” she says with a wink. Never mind the guild business she theoretically would have to do. ”Though perhaps I could make a little time to let you show me the ropes.” She has no interest in being a full on apprentice, given that she is the type of nurse to tell you to walk it off or just deal with it, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing to learn a little. Okay fine, it might actually be good.
At the mention of her fire magic, she grins. The fire in the hearth goes out with a thought, filling the room with a sudden chill. Her eyes go to the hearth, the demonstration clearly her answer. Suddenly, the fire springs to life again, though she has made no move. Her arms stay crossed, her posture casual. Some of the fire floats from the fireplace, swirling in lazy circles around the room before disappearing. ”Maea helped me, actually.” Zariah too, but she really hates to admit that.
She laughs rather loudly as he blushes. ”You are blushing as if liking me is such a terrible thing.” Her grin spreads, amused and playful as usual. ”Maybe it is,” she adds, entirely able to make fun of herself. She is a handful, after all.
Letting out a huff of laughter, Loren inclined his head in acknowledgement of Weaver's agreement. Still grinning, he folded his arms. "You know," Speaking in a thoughtful drawl, though his eyes sparkled with mischief, "making medicines and making alcohol is basically the same process." Giving her a wry look, he laughed again, more fully this time. "But I'll take what time I can get."
As the fire went out then sprang back into a blaze, he raised his eyebrows. Then his expression softened slightly. "That seems like another good thing to remember her by." Thinking of the gifts she'd left them was much better than thinking that, well, she'd left them, he realized.
Shaking his head a bit, he shrugged. "Not exactly. I was more thinking that being liked by me is the terrible thing." Obviously he was making fun of himself, and he gave her a sheepish smile.
Weaver chuckles at that. ”Well, I am more than happy to let you prove it to me.” Which she really is. She doesn’t mind a few lessons. It might help her learn how to hide things in drinks, because that sounds like a very useful skill. Make some sleeping tonic, slip it into a particular brew...apparently she should not be taught useful things. Though with that thought, she decides to find the time to learn some of the skills he can teach her. Hell, maybe she’d even like it and become an actual apprentice. Or really, maybe she’d just make the time because it was Loren.
Her attention turns back to Loren with a nod. She did prefer to think of the things Maea had left them with. The memories, the gifts, the skills. It was better than thinking about the things that would never be, the life that would never be lived, the small hole in her heart that belonged to her friend. Still, they were not entirely without her, in these small things.
Her grin turns sly and mischievous, a familiar look by now. ”Maybe it is, though I do tend to enjoy terrible things.” He may be a mess, but she wasn’t sure she’d want him any other way. That is to say, she wouldn’t want him to be someone he is not. Maybe less of a mess, but time and a bit of elbow grease could solve that well enough.
Loren just grinned at Weaver. "I think you are going to regret challenging me on this." It was clear he was totally joking. As teachers went, he was a pretty lenient one, or at least he liked to think so.
Letting out a huff of laughter, he shook his head. "Thank the gods for that." Despite the teasing tone, the smile he turned on her was truly grateful. Then he narrowed his eyes mischievously. "Just how terrible are we talking here?" It came out in a tone that was just a shade too casual. However, he was absolutely just messing with her at this point.
”I won’t. I hope you are right, and your magical healing knowledge can help me make better booze.” Really, it’s not hard to convince her to learn something that might help her in her own career. Also really, it’s probably not that hard to convince her to learn something that might help someone not die. She’s tired of death, if she can have any say in the matter. ”Maybe we can make medicinal booze. No one would complain about their cough syrup ever again.” This is a joke, because it was an absolutely terrible idea, but she can’t help herself.
He might just be messing, but she doesn’t mind. There is some true to it, honestly. Little bothers her, she has a moral compass that’s half-backward, and she has no compunctions against the sort of things that might make others turn in disgust (save for the truly awful things). ”All the worst things are usually my favorite,” she says with a grin, matching his mischief in her own look. ”Booze, smoking, drugs, hunting, sex…” she counts them off on her fingers, trailing off with a shrug. ”Black markets are always fun too. And you, of course.” she adds with a wink.
Smirking, Loren shrugged at Weaver's words. "Only one way to find out." Letting out a huff of laughter, he gave her a deeply amused look. "Listen, I'll do whatever it takes to get the medicine to go down. I'm very, very used to difficult patients." Indeed, his wry tone indicated that he was more used to those kinds than the easy types.
"I'm so flattered to be included in that list." Grinning, he crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at her. "And yet, I can't help but notice I've only seen you partake in one of those pastimes. Have you been holding out on me?" Tone teasing, he tilted his head to one side as he waited for her response.
