- NATE -
but who am I to say?
let's all just run away
let's all just run away
"Why would you? Fuck, after everything the only thing you deserve is a vacation. Some fucking... good news and a nap." Nate scoffs, wanting to shake the other man, to get his own frustration out and keep it from building. He refrains, barely, not wanting to spill the drink, not wanting to be too rough. His words are already doing that job for him. Instead he just watches Sunjata drink, watches the muscles in his jaw tighten just so, in a way Nate can feel in his own face, it's so familiar. He sighs hard, and licks his lips, trying to wrap some tact around his words.
Trying. "Well, I'm the one who has the best chance of outliving you." Trying. Nate winces again and clenches his teeth, not loosening them this time until he's actually gone over what he's going to say in his head. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I know you make stupid choices. You know I make stupid choices. I... the only reason we're close is because of a stupid choice." It feels like he's getting back onto to track, or at least clambering onto it for the first time.
Then the topic shifts, and Nate can't bring himself to be quite as blunt, can't bring himself to say anything at all for a moment. There's a rift in his chest that wants to sink with Sunjata, wants to let himself drop into the despair that can only come from losing someone close. But on the other side of it, there is a flash of anger, drowning out everything for a breath, thrusting the despair away easily. "I'm... I'm sorry, what?" Nate can't even hear the words coming out of his mouth, can't quite control his tone. Suddenly the message on the notice board makes more sense; it had put a bad taste in his mouth initially anyway, but now he couldn't even feel the slight bit of closure the final words had brought to him. "Who the fuck is she to decide that? I... what the fuck?!" The electricity that keeps Nate moving seems to be leaking out of his eyes, the blue so bright, so angry it's almost a wonder Nate hasn't launched himself to his feet. "Fuck that. Fuck. That. I... fuck, I'll help you get through that, I... fuck."
Nate has to stop, has to suck in a deep breath. The hand on the attuned's shoulder pulls him closer, Nate leaning in, speaking slowly. "You're not fucking getting rid of me that easy asshole. I just said, I'm not going anywhere. That I need you."
Trying. "Well, I'm the one who has the best chance of outliving you." Trying. Nate winces again and clenches his teeth, not loosening them this time until he's actually gone over what he's going to say in his head. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I know you make stupid choices. You know I make stupid choices. I... the only reason we're close is because of a stupid choice." It feels like he's getting back onto to track, or at least clambering onto it for the first time.
Then the topic shifts, and Nate can't bring himself to be quite as blunt, can't bring himself to say anything at all for a moment. There's a rift in his chest that wants to sink with Sunjata, wants to let himself drop into the despair that can only come from losing someone close. But on the other side of it, there is a flash of anger, drowning out everything for a breath, thrusting the despair away easily. "I'm... I'm sorry, what?" Nate can't even hear the words coming out of his mouth, can't quite control his tone. Suddenly the message on the notice board makes more sense; it had put a bad taste in his mouth initially anyway, but now he couldn't even feel the slight bit of closure the final words had brought to him. "Who the fuck is she to decide that? I... what the fuck?!" The electricity that keeps Nate moving seems to be leaking out of his eyes, the blue so bright, so angry it's almost a wonder Nate hasn't launched himself to his feet. "Fuck that. Fuck. That. I... fuck, I'll help you get through that, I... fuck."
Nate has to stop, has to suck in a deep breath. The hand on the attuned's shoulder pulls him closer, Nate leaning in, speaking slowly. "You're not fucking getting rid of me that easy asshole. I just said, I'm not going anywhere. That I need you."
grab your saints and pray
and we'll burn this world today
and we'll burn this world today
