- NATE -
but who am I to say?
let's all just run away
let's all just run away
Sunjata's words only bring more of the sadness bubbling up, quenching the last of Nate's anger. Because he knows how to press the other man, how he could be manipulated, and to think of it being used against him is horrible. It breaks his heart. "I'm sorry. Fuck I... I'm so sorry." It's not the time for jokes, but he really can't help himself. "I think the buttons I push are better." It's quiet, hopefully enough that it can slip away without comment, and hey, what's one more thing he regrets saying at this point?
The urge to shout at Sunjata, to shake him, to get something through returns as slowly, his gaze grows hollow, distant. This isn't how Nate wants to lose him, lost in an emotional precipice that he has no idea how to combat. He needs something to reach through, to really touch Sunjata, and he doesn't know what. Touch isn't enough, and nothing that comes out of his mouth seems to be right. Nate doesn't want to have to press through this, but he'll go to the ends of the earth for it. For Sunjata.
Brother. That's what finally does it, and it's not even quite right, but its enough for something, enough to get Sunjata to really look at him. There's a tremble in Nate's jaw that comes from how tightly he's clenching it, how hard he's trying to keep everything from spilling over, to keep his eyes dry. His brows are pulled together, and there's a silent plea on his face. Please, please, let me help. Let me try. It's not enough though. Stormy eyes drop away from him, drop to the glass, and Nate regrets again suggesting it, though it's opened up something.
"I did?" Nate isn't sure how, when he sure as fuck hasn't done anything particularly noteworthy. Didn't even really help to heal Sunjata, when his lungs were threatening to collapse, when he could have. He doesn't expect the attuned to stand though, doesn't move his hand until the other is already on his feet, Nate's eyes on his back now. "Whatever I did, it.. it wasn't for you to be grateful. I'm not doing this so you'll be grateful."
"I'm not... I'm not fucking good at this. I don't know how to help, and I want to. I want to help you, because I... I like you, and I want to keep you around, and I want you to keep me around." There's no sound as Nate rises to his feet as well, not beyond his pleading voice. "Let me... fuck, I don't know. Let me save you again. Let me help. Just... fuck, please don't... don't fucking act like you're nothing. Like you deserve this." He moves around to the attuned side, reaching to take the glass, to replace it with his hand. "Sunjata. Please."
The urge to shout at Sunjata, to shake him, to get something through returns as slowly, his gaze grows hollow, distant. This isn't how Nate wants to lose him, lost in an emotional precipice that he has no idea how to combat. He needs something to reach through, to really touch Sunjata, and he doesn't know what. Touch isn't enough, and nothing that comes out of his mouth seems to be right. Nate doesn't want to have to press through this, but he'll go to the ends of the earth for it. For Sunjata.
Brother. That's what finally does it, and it's not even quite right, but its enough for something, enough to get Sunjata to really look at him. There's a tremble in Nate's jaw that comes from how tightly he's clenching it, how hard he's trying to keep everything from spilling over, to keep his eyes dry. His brows are pulled together, and there's a silent plea on his face. Please, please, let me help. Let me try. It's not enough though. Stormy eyes drop away from him, drop to the glass, and Nate regrets again suggesting it, though it's opened up something.
"I did?" Nate isn't sure how, when he sure as fuck hasn't done anything particularly noteworthy. Didn't even really help to heal Sunjata, when his lungs were threatening to collapse, when he could have. He doesn't expect the attuned to stand though, doesn't move his hand until the other is already on his feet, Nate's eyes on his back now. "Whatever I did, it.. it wasn't for you to be grateful. I'm not doing this so you'll be grateful."
"I'm not... I'm not fucking good at this. I don't know how to help, and I want to. I want to help you, because I... I like you, and I want to keep you around, and I want you to keep me around." There's no sound as Nate rises to his feet as well, not beyond his pleading voice. "Let me... fuck, I don't know. Let me save you again. Let me help. Just... fuck, please don't... don't fucking act like you're nothing. Like you deserve this." He moves around to the attuned side, reaching to take the glass, to replace it with his hand. "Sunjata. Please."
grab your saints and pray
and we'll burn this world today
and we'll burn this world today
