- NATE -
but who am I to say?
let's all just run away
let's all just run away
But I am. Nate want's to sneer the words back in his face, frustration finally coming to a head, something finally surfacing out of the muddle of his chest. And again, a part of it is insult, is hurt, is personal, and it makes it all so much worse. "But you are? All of this is punishment? Fuck off with that. Things hurt, and you get more than your fair share, but is it really worth losing everything to avoid it? Is it worth not being close to anyone again?" It couldn't be easy to teeter so close on the idea, to think that giving up would be preferable to connections again, but Nate doesn't care about that. Doesn't care about anything more than the insult that living without him would be better than any time with him.
It's unexpected when Sunjata snaps, when the wrong button is touched, when Nate's back is suddenly against the wall. Shocks the words out of his mouth, lips turning in a snarl immediately. Instinct keeps him still though, memories upon memories of being stopped, searched, of what happened to people who caused trouble. It's just long enough to hear the words the other man says, more spirited, more forceful than anything so far, and all that does is irritate Nate more.
What's Sunjata going to do to him anyway? "I could have fucking lost you too, moron!" A hand twists out of the hold he's in, reaching up to grab at a shoulder, at a horn, trying to pull some of the pressure off him. "I could lose you anytime you go and do some stupid shit! Anytime you fucking go off! And I fucking deal with it!" There's no breath, no inhale, but there is a pause as he tries to see if anything is sinking in. If anything is getting through. "I don't want to fucking lose you. I don't want to lose anyone! But it happens."
The hand wrapped around the horn moves side to side, no longer trying to relieve pressure, but trying to shake some sense into the attuned. "You think the people who love you don't feel the same thing? God, I..." Nate growls, shaking his head and pressing up against the arm holding him down. "I fucking..." He swallows, like he can't quite get the word out, like it hurts to do. "I fucking love you, and I could lose you anytime, and I'm not trying to fuck off like you are." Nate voice is hoarse, quieter than it's been the entire time, like something had broken, like he can't hold everything in himself anymore.
It's unexpected when Sunjata snaps, when the wrong button is touched, when Nate's back is suddenly against the wall. Shocks the words out of his mouth, lips turning in a snarl immediately. Instinct keeps him still though, memories upon memories of being stopped, searched, of what happened to people who caused trouble. It's just long enough to hear the words the other man says, more spirited, more forceful than anything so far, and all that does is irritate Nate more.
What's Sunjata going to do to him anyway? "I could have fucking lost you too, moron!" A hand twists out of the hold he's in, reaching up to grab at a shoulder, at a horn, trying to pull some of the pressure off him. "I could lose you anytime you go and do some stupid shit! Anytime you fucking go off! And I fucking deal with it!" There's no breath, no inhale, but there is a pause as he tries to see if anything is sinking in. If anything is getting through. "I don't want to fucking lose you. I don't want to lose anyone! But it happens."
The hand wrapped around the horn moves side to side, no longer trying to relieve pressure, but trying to shake some sense into the attuned. "You think the people who love you don't feel the same thing? God, I..." Nate growls, shaking his head and pressing up against the arm holding him down. "I fucking..." He swallows, like he can't quite get the word out, like it hurts to do. "I fucking love you, and I could lose you anytime, and I'm not trying to fuck off like you are." Nate voice is hoarse, quieter than it's been the entire time, like something had broken, like he can't hold everything in himself anymore.
grab your saints and pray
and we'll burn this world today
and we'll burn this world today
