Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

"... Are you going to attend the Festival of Lights?" An abrupt transition, though not entirely without a connection to the current conversation, as Jigano's hands flexed again, itching for something to do and helpless in a way that he hadn't felt in a while.

Not simply the helplessness of grief, but of anger. There were days he envied Deimos's forthright approach to such things.

"Try to get Ludo's attention? Skip the gatekeeper and ask her yourself, what she wants to tell you?" This Delphia certainly seemed like a high-and-mighty tyrant in Zariah's style, holding hostage something precious to get... what? An emotional catharsis that wasn't hers to demand?

He disliked that he agreed with her on it, though. This clinging to ghosts only carved further divides between Sunjata and the rest of the still-living. His magic pulsed again, not a stone this time but a flower in his hand: a white lily like that which he had given the pale woman at their reunion after her absence.

don't you know i'm no good for you?

The question almost seems out of the blue, and Sunjata’s silent for a few moments as he considers it – already knowing the answer. “Yeah.” He manages, lips pursing briefly as he becomes incredibly focused on the dagger in his hand. “I’ve already made a lantern for Peter.” Another one of the casualties on his ridiculous mission for a dragon’s heart. Just another to add to the regrets of everything else.

The offer from Jigano is one that he considers for a moment, pausing in his attempts to sharpen the dagger as he sets it aside and focuses on the coastline out in the distance. “I could. Out of all of the Old Gods, Ludo is the one I haven’t met.” A frown crosses his face to that before shaking his head, pausing to stretch and pop it before he glances back over to Jigano to spot the white lily.

“What’s it like to be both Attuned and Abandoned?” Another distracting question. To wield magic and be attuned, it had to be something… Unique, different. He hadn’t ever craved magic, but there were times where he felt the unfairness of it all. Of magic and wings at ones’ disposal for battle, unable to do much against a magic user as his normal attuned self.

i've learned to lose, you can't afford to

SUNJATA

Jigano nodded sharply, still tense but reminded of Deimos, of anger getting the better of him in the past. Laying blame on others was almost as easy as laying it on himself when things didn't go according to mortal plans. Peter's name, the General's careful narration of what had happened... He didn't think that the Sword had forgiven this would-be dagger, but he was more adept at keeping those feelings locked away rather than on display for the whole world to see.

A lesson for the bard, to not repeat the mistakes hard-learned with his friend's fiancee with the lover of another friend, even though she was now lost to them both.

"I'm making one for Adam," he said gruffly, another twist of loss added to the growing list.

Ludo and Maea were the ones to make the decision, the bard thought, whatever his own opinion of the Flood. But whether Ludo would was another question entirely, for a man who gave allegiance to Safrin. Then again, Wessex had been chosen last year, and the soulguide was fickle but not nearly so jealous as the star-eyed goddess.

Silence might have fallen then, but Sunjata's question was as unexpected as Jigano's earlier one had been, and he tilted his head before offering a faint shrug. "It is... something I have always been," he said simply. "Born that way. Except for that first year here, when I lost my magic. Now it's back and different but... some of it remains similar, at least. What is it like to be human and become Attuned?"

don't you know i'm no good for you?

The comment of Adam pangs deep within as well, causing him to shift where he sits and keep his gaze trained on the coast. “He’d like that.” He comments quietly, reaching up absently to rub at the golden earrings in his ears, before the hand drifts to run through wavy dark hair. “I have a few things set aside for one for Adam, but I was closer to Peter.” Though both had been friends, Peter was the closest to the flood.

On the subject of gods and everything else, Sunjata focuses instead on the question poised to Jigano. The idea of being a magic wielder and attuned is one that’s hard for him to understand – but he listens when Jigano mentions that it was what he always had been. A slow nod is granted to that. “Must have been difficult to lose that bit of yourself.” He offers a bit unhelpfully, having never been anything than an Accepted in a sense.

The question is returned and he looks up, gaze tearing from the coastline back to the bard. “I was always human. Accepted, except Korofi didn’t have gods. Not like here, anyway. Then I arrive here and people can shift into animals, magic users, things that were a bit of a fantasy for everyone else back home. But to change? It’s.. Strange. Safrin reached into me – straight through my ribs – and held my soul there, changing it and suddenly I was a bird.” There’s a considering look to that, unable to really explain the feeling. “Then it just became almost a second nature. Like it should have been there the whole time and it was missing.”

i've learned to lose, you can't afford to

SUNJATA

One hand reached up to run long fingers through longer hair, pushing it back from his face with a sharp motion as the lily was cradled with contrasting care in the other. "Deimos and I... there are memorials to Adam and Peter, by Ludo's shrine in Kaiholo," he said gruffly. A small dragon made of black iron and glass, curled up and sleeping beside the shrine with a black wooden snake coiled and resting on its back. A stylized, skeletal luxere made of wood with a small bat on its head beside the dragon, both in the lee protection of the larger shrine.

A shrug to Sunjata's comment on difficulties, for it had been. A source of pain, of jealousy, of anger and eventually resignation and letting go of the man he had been to try and focus on the man he had become...

Ripped away in a shackled stardust shower by Safrin's anger, her ire cracking him open until something else bled through the breaking points, bringing magic to his veins once more.

Difficult to lose. Even more difficult to regain, as it had turned out.

Some of Sunjata's story was familiar, the Flood's tale one that Jigano had heard before in kinder times, before three deaths didn't lie between them. His jaw tensed again at the reminder of what - of who - else was missing, who should have been there, but he swallowed it down again with another jerky nod.

don't you know i'm no good for you?

He’s half tempted to mention the fact that Amalia and him are on okay terms now – but that the General and him weren’t. Perhaps that’s another reason of uprooting life and placing himself here, far away from it all, among others with similar ideas that he shares. “I’ll have to visit it.” He says quietly, perhaps a bit distractedly, trying to imagine where the location of the shrine is.

But Jigano doesn’t seem to have much else to add to his story of attuning, and he looks away from the bard when the muscle in his jaw tenses, a jerky nod offered that has Sunjata’s gaze leveling back on the dagger resting on a leg. Absentmindedly, he rubs at his wrist before sighing quietly – reaching out to the feral cats that roamed along the coast. A black one and a grey striped one appear – watching them curiously before he beckons them closer, reaching into a pocket for a few scraps of fish from earlier.

He tears off the pieces and tosses them to the cats – letting his gaze focus on them as they drift near to nibble at them, quite content with that turn of events. “I’ve heard rumors that cats can see spirits.” He muses quietly.

i've learned to lose, you can't afford to

SUNJATA

He wasn't sure why he'd told Sunjata about the memorials, except that the Flood had seemed genuinely torn about Peter's death. The pain of failure, the weight of guilt, those were things that Jigano understood, even if he still blamed the other man for being the root cause of the deaths of two people and their companions.

It made it hard to delve further into Sunjata's tale of transformation, though the facts the Flood relayed covered most of the bases fairly well, and there didn't seem much more to say on the matter. He wasn't, and then he was, and it felt like it had always been that way. Jigano watched the approach of the felines, slanting a glance from the corner of his eye to note the feeding of the strays. He wasn't much of a cat person, and he smelled of Vaya and Ella anyways, Rory's hounds as much a presence in his life as the farmer and Isuma now.

"Some, perhaps," he granted reluctantly. "A fae once told me about the Cait Sith in the Greatwood being hunters of souls. Did you have ghosts in Korofi?" A bending - a slight bending - gruff and reluctant, if the other man chose to take it.

don't you know i'm no good for you?

It was as simple as that – it became him and felt like it had entirely been him. There wasn’t much more to add, much more to take away from it. So instead, Sunjata focuses on the cats that approach, waiting nearby for scraps of fish he’d had. It wasn’t much different from how he acted in the Grounds – plenty of cats having found the VlamVloed a welcome reprieve from the elements, both with a snack and drink.

Perhaps it was the panther within him that attracted him so much to it?

He listens when Jigano explains about the Cat Sith, head tilting curiously to that as he tears off another few pieces, tossing it about and watching the cats almost hunt for it. But the question with ghosts? Has him shifting a small amount to glance back to Jigano. “We didn’t really. People claimed to do witchcraft and what not, but it was all smoke and mirrors.” He muses, thinking to the woman he’d been engaged to – one from the houses and sectors that focused around that.

i've learned to lose, you can't afford to

SUNJATA

Cats weren't the only ones drawn to the fish being tossed around; a couple of gulls that had been perched on the lighthouse swooped down to investigate, stealing one of the pieces of fish and fighting over it nearby. Jigano watched them for a moment, frowning slightly as he cradled the lily protectively against his chest. Blue eyes flickered only briefly to Sunjata's answer, a brow arched in polite disbelief. "Are you certain it was only sleight of hand?" Coming from a world where magic was as common as housecats, the bard found it easier to believe the witches had disguised their power than that none had existed.

When words like 'witchcraft' were tossed around in conjunction with magic it tended to result in torches and other unpleasant things for the practitioners involved.

He turned his attention inwards for a moment, feeling the scintillating threads of his magic shimmering within his soul, and he remembered Maea's magical growth spurts with a pained, fond sort of sadness that still felt more like she was simply spirited away again, not truly dead and gone forever.

don't you know i'm no good for you?

The question is aired as gulls lower themselves toward the cats that Sunjata watches, watching as one of the avians steals a piece of the fish. And so he compels them to hunt, to watch and see how they might work to try and give the gull a bit more payback – nothing more than a warning… But there nonetheless. Still, Jigano’s question settles in the air, and he hums low in his throat, some kind of chagrined humor. “Had I stayed in Korofi I might have found out.” He manages with a small shrug. “They were from a sector, much like I was. But they focused in all of that – bones that told fortunes, nothing compared to here.” A rise and fall of his shoulders to that, taking his gaze away from the cats to look at Jigano.

“I was quite surprised to see it here, honestly.” A small shrug granted to that – not that Sunjata judged it at all. Lusea had magic, Hotaru had magic, Maea had magic… No, he couldn’t harbor any past thoughts to it – just simply the ones that came from Korofi specifically.

i've learned to lose, you can't afford to

SUNJATA

The gulls were too busy squabbling amongst themselves to notice the stealthy approach of the cats, but they were also moving swiftly through the air trying to steal the tidbit and play keep-away from each other. Moving, airborne targets nearly as large as the cats themselves would make for no easy prey.

"Caido follows its own rules," the bard granted, watching the cats and birds with unreadable blue eyes. "Gods, magic... everything else, I suppose." He glanced back to Sunjata with an arched brow. "On my world, humans and others could use magic to change their shape, even if they weren't born with the ability to do so, as some races were. Here, though, it's not considered magic so much as... a divine blessing, I suppose."

don't you know i'm no good for you?

Out of sheer interest, Sunjata tosses a small piece of the fish toward the birds as well – gaze flickering along the cats as he focuses on their hunting prowess, solitary and stealthy to try and jump out at the birds when given a chance to – paws and claws outstretched to try and steal it from the gull. Sunjata listens to Jigano’s response in the meantime, chewing absentmindedly on the inside of his cheek.

“That’s interesting.” He muses somewhat, gaze tearing away from the cat and bird chase to focus on the bard again. “I’ve noticed that the longer I’m here, the more shifts I get. It’s strange to reach for the well and find more hidden beneath the layers that weren’t there before. I imagine it’s got to be similar with magic.” A tilt of his head, a raise of his brow. Having never wielded magic (at least here, on Helovia was another story) it’s hard for him to imagine it.

i've learned to lose, you can't afford to

SUNJATA

Jigano merely nodded, the experience one that was common among every Attuned he'd spoken to. "Not always hidden but... evolving," he said, and though he engaged reluctantly Sunjata had hit upon the bard's love of learning new things, comparing them between different people and forming new hypotheses from the results. "The more we experience and grow the more our souls do the same, I think. The more they stretch and the Attuned blessing expands to fill the space, changing and growing with us." He exhaled slowly, looking down at the lily he had created with a pang, knowing Maea would have understood about magic, even if she hadn't known the joy of an animal shift. "The magic here is... slower to grow. Usually. Except when it spikes. And there's not always a sense of recognition with it, the way there is with the shifts." He shrugged.

The second gull caught sight of the new treat first and twisted to dive after it - right into the reach of the cats. It squawked and backwinged rapidly, abandoning the fishbit to the felines as the first gull hurriedly scarfed down the first stolen nibble.

don't you know i'm no good for you?

A dip of his head to the idea of evolving is given to Jigano. It makes sense, he supposes, gaze flickering out momentarily back to the coastline over the ruffled feathers and felines below his line of sight. “I have… five shifts now? I found one after completing the shrine. It’s a bat.” The smile that crosses his face is somewhat sad as he shakes his head. “I thought it was almost mocking at first, with Peter. But then I kind of just imagined it as if I had a piece of him with me still.” A quiet offering, tilting his gaze back to Jigano.

“With magic, is it like you’re pulling a string and just waiting to see what you get out of it?” A quiet, curious question. Because he couldn’t really imagine what it would be like, how to fathom something as such. But he could absolutely try to, giving some focus back to the cats as they begin to take away the piece of fish from the clutches of the shy gull.

i've learned to lose, you can't afford to

SUNJATA