light up my moon

SUNJATA

the flood

'cause my life is like a bedroom door
don't lead me in when you feel low

Arms loosen yet Nate remains close, a blanket of not exactly warmth but certainly love that Sunjata indulges in. “It’s close enough.” He replies with a light huff, though there’s a smile in his words, a smile lingering to his face, softer and gentler than the hardened exterior he’d given everyone else. He can see that with Nate too — the way his hands roam on the attuned, the way his head ducks to place kisses along his neck. A softer, gentler moment, from two boys that had one hell of a past.

But he has to say it, because when else would they get a chance? The next chance might be lounging in bed back in Aumakua, where the courage to utter the words gets lost in a sea of blankets and the darkness of night, until he falls asleep and Nate takes a moment unable to sleep and drifts off to think. He has him now, he holds him close, he has the courage now. And with it, Nate’s quiet whine and the lift of his head, Sunjata can see the splash of emotions that cross the Ascended’s face. But he waits, with that paused breath, for either the acceptance or denial. Still, his mind flickers back briefly to his spiral after the volcano eruption, to the confession between frustration, anger, sorrow, tears — and he thinks it might not be as bad as he imagines.

His eyes follow the lines of Nate’s face, watch the way he considers what to say, eyes slipping toward the tongue that sweeps along Nate’s lower lip, as Nate’s gaze drifts away from his face. And yet Sunjata can't help but to keep his own trained on Nate’s eyes. A few heartbeats pass and Sunjata leans into the touch Nate offers, the acceptance of trying — because that’s what he’d be doing too. And he offers a softer smile to that, nearing his head to press a kiss to Nate’s temple, fingers roaming to pull away the raven hair from his face. “Just you.” He hums lightly, before aiming to brush his face along Nate’s cheek with a soft sigh.

“I don’t care if you try to treat someone and it turns into more than a bite.” He begins, trying to explain what he’s getting at. “I just… I want you. There. With me at home.” He pauses, hand slipping from Nate’s hair to the other man’s jaw, thumb stroking lightly along it as he tries to meet Nate’s gaze. “I want you with me. If that’s what you want. Comes with a lot of shit though, aside from just me being an ass sometimes.” He manages with a breathy chuckle, amusement gleaming in his gaze as he tries to convey what he means, but words had never been his strong suit. “Just come home to me.”

'cause i might make a move

- NATE -

Got my own monster
Nobody but me

Nate keeps his eyes on the horizon for as long as he can manage, focuses on the distant, barely there motion of the waves against the sky. It's easier, somehow, when he doesn't have to see the reaction to his words, doesn't have to see the build up to the response. Gives him less time, less of a chance to worry. It is both a shame and a blessing that his breath can't stop anymore, that he doesn't suck in a quiet breath automatically as the soft words reach him, that he doesn't choke on it a little in his haste to grin, the smile stretching his cheeks as the other man leans in.

Though Nate is careful to hold his tongue until he's certain the other man is done, his gaze does return to Sunjata, soft and quietly delighted. The attuned had said he couldn't say I love you back, when Nate had first confessed, yet everything that comes from him now holds just as much weight, if not more. The full intensity of his gaze is locked on stormy eyes now, even as he leans in against the hand on his face, as he reaches up to run his fingers through Sunjata's hair again. "I'm always gonna come home to you." His words are a little hoarse, forced through a smile so wide it should be hurting and a lump of emotion in his throat. He swallows, trying to push it down so he can actually respond properly, so he doesn't just devolve into needy kisses and touches. "And I want all of that. You, and the shit, whatever it is, whoever it comes from." Nate lets out his own soft laugh, knowing the future is not always going to be as soft as this particular moment is, not with the two of them. And even still he was looking forward to it.

Words should really come easier to him, but Nate had always found the gift of gab drying up when it came to thing she actually needed to say, so he was stuck a moment, trying to pluck words from the swirl within him. "I've never.... made this work before. Never really uh, tried to, honestly. But I... you," Nate laughs, fingers tapping against Sunjata's head gently, "you do something weird to me. You make me wanna try."

I would never call him enemy
He's the bad god I need

SUNJATA

the flood

'cause my life is like a bedroom door
don't lead me in when you feel low

He can feel the smile that blooms across Nate’s face, and he can feel the way his heart thunders in his chest, like a roaring drum in his ears. But it quells as soon as Nate’s head shifts, as soon as the lightning electricity meets his storms, and the smile is reflected just as much – fanged and pleased with the result as he leans into the light touch through wavy dark hair, as his own hand brushes along the pale skin of Nate’s face. The comment of always coming home settles him further, thumb stroking along a strong jaw line before his gaze is searching Nate’s face for the lie within – as if he’s been lied to before with this very similar thing.

“It’s becoming a pretty large book of people and things.” He offers weakly in an attempt at a bit more humor – ducking his own head a small amount, perhaps sheepishly, before he quiets and lets Nate finish. Nate had been quiet while he’d stumbled over his words, it was only fair that Sunjata do the same while they try to figure out exactly how to go about the thoughts that swirl in their minds. And when he explains, the smile along his face shifts into a slight smirk along his own, leaning briefly into the tapping fingers along his skull. “Mm, well, that’s the first  time I’ve heard that.” He adds with a quiet breathy laugh.

A few moments later and he’s squeezing Nate lightly against him again, head tilting back a small amount, as if he’s trying to hide his own face and failing quite miserably to do so. “It… Takes me awhile to open up. Fully, that is.” He begins, quietly. “And there’s things that I’ll do despite trying so fucking hard not to.” His mind reflects back on his spiral, on pinning Nate against the wall, that Korofian enforcer leaking through the cracks. “Please just forgive me for it. I don’t mean it.” Because he’s sure the cycle will repeat itself, that he’ll try to push Nate away again and again.

He only hopes he stays through it. And so, just as before, when saying ‘I love you’ had become too hard and difficult of a thing to manage, he shows it in his body language – the one that doesn’t require the use of shitty words and hoarse, hurting throats. His head nears Nate’s again, pressing a softer, more gentler kiss to the Ascended’s lips.

'cause i might make a move

- NATE -

Got my own monster
Nobody but me

Honesty is honestly not one of Nate's strong suits, things usually hidden behind a shield of easy humour at a minimum, and even easier lies for anything more serious. There's no such defenses up at the moment though, no attempt to be anything other than sincerely open, terrifyingly vulnerable. Trusting, where no one else has really earned it before. He even tries to press it into the sweep of his fingers, twisting through short waves.

Nate can't stop the snort that leaves him at the other man's comment. Really he'd been thinking about whatever shit they could dredge up between the two of them, a laundry list of issues a mile long. Adding in other people's problems with them hadn't even really occurred to him. Didn't really matter to him. He's glad for the quiet while he gets his thoughts, his words together for the one person who does matter to him, though the reaction has one of his brows quirking. "First time you've heard which part?" There's a fair amount of curiosity in Nate's voice, wondering which new first they'd managed to stumble over already.

There's no more space between them for Nate to press into, despite the renewed pressure of Sunjata's arms, even as his head sinks away. Immediately Nate's hand shifts to so his thumb can stroke along the attuned's cheek, bright gaze trying to hold the other man in the moment, in their closeness. Trying to make him feel like he doesn't need to shrink away, despite the fact that he'd done the same thing earlier. It's not really a surprise that Sunjata is slow to open up, slow to trust, but this is a snort that Nate does suppress, offering an understanding nod instead. His mind also flashes back to the snap of authority, after the volcano, the wall he'd been pushed into and how easily it had seemed to come to the other man. As easily as his own struggling had come to him. "I don't really need to forgive you." Nate offers easily. It's not difficult to say it outside of the moment. "Not for things like that. I get it. You just," He shrugs, trying to find an appropriate word, "react." He did the same, under pressure.

The soft kiss feels like a period in the conversation for the moment, Nate shifting and pressing into it just as gently. His hand moves to cradle Sunjata's head, making the angle a little easier. And he pulls back after a moment, long enough for a breath, before dipping in again. And again. Really, Nate would be more than happy to kiss the other man until the sun came up, until the island took them far into the sea.

I would never call him enemy
He's the bad god I need

SUNJATA

the flood

'cause my life is like a bedroom door
don't lead me in when you feel low

A myriad of firsts for him, really. And the more he thinks on it the more he realizes he’s want to embrace and endure them with nobody else other than the man still in his arms, who’s fingers trace weaving lines through dark wavy hair. The question is aired and a small smile crosses his face with it, almost purring into the touch and press of fingers. “That someone wants to change because of me.” He rumbles. Usually it went the other way, where they’d seen him and the way he tests and destroys himself, the way he does the same to those around him and attempts to quell the flood within him.

It was… a nice change, to not end up being a project. Not a broken thing that needed to be fixed so much as braced to fill in the cracks.

But for Sunjata, words had never been something he was good at. And when he tries to duck and hide his head just as Nate had, he stills as the hand cups his jaw, strokes his cheek, stormy gaze flickering with hidden dark shadows as he meets the electricity within Nate’s. The answer isn’t what he expects, not with the way he’s half tempted to retort something along the lines of how Nate hasn’t seen him at his worst yet.

But he had. He already did, a few times now. And that certainly said something.

And he has nothing to say when their lips meet again, a soft and gentler one, full of hope and apologies, of hidden pain and sorrow that he knows will show at some point, of the happiness that Nate brings out in him. The kiss breaks for breath, a consideration knowing Nate doesn’t need it. And he dives back in, hand sliding around from Nate’s jaw to cup under his ear and along the back of his neck, fingers tangling in dark hair again. “I can’t wait.” He admits, a bit breathless, pulling away from the kiss to lean into the hand that cradles his head.

'cause i might make a move

- NATE -

Got my own monster
Nobody but me

If everything he said could bring a smile to the other man's lips, Nate would be happy for a very long time. Would talk a hell of a lot more too. But he's content with the small smile he gets here, a soft laugh leaving him at the response. "Not just change. I want to... grow with you, or something. Build a home." The words grow softer, trailing off as something like embarrassment grip's Nate. He tries to focus on the man below him, on the way his hair feels moving through his fingers, the way he's warm enough that it actually registers to his dulled senses, and it's enough to keep him from ducking down again.

The feeling in his chest was big enough that Nate wanted to shout it, wanted to give all of it to Sunjata now, but he couldn't. Not quite yet. There was too much to say, and not near enough words for it. I love you only covered so much, could only have so many meanings, and it didn't feel like near enough for Nate. Didn't feel the same as I want to keep you safe, or I could stare into your eyes forever. Wasn't quite enough for I'd be happy to hold you in my arms every night.

What he wouldn't give to know the cause of the dark clouds in the already stormy gaze, to know what to say to soothe them. But Nate manages to catch the attuned before he can shift away, a bright smile spreading over his lips as he does. Moments like this are why the worse is worth it, the few times he's had to drift into it with the other man. Some part of him wants to echo the refrain he's been chirping this whole time, you are worth this, but it's easier to show through touch. Through the kiss.

It's a promise, almost before it's a kiss. To stay, to experience the pain, the sadness, together. To enjoy the happiness, the warmth. A soft, fond sigh leaves Nate when Sunjata presses back into him as soon as he can, when fingers push through his hair. And when they part properly, Sunjata breathless despite his best attempts, Nate shifts to wrap his other arm around the other mans shoulders as well, to squeeze him as tightly as he can in the closest thing he can do to a hug while lying down. "I can't either." He laughs brightly.

Though, as peaceful as everything is, as perfect as it feels, laying on the sand on an island with a mind of it's own is not exactly something they can do forever. And after what feels like not at all enough time spent pressed together, Nate moves to sit up, trying to pull Sunjata with him. He turns to look behind him, the march of baby turtles slowed to a trickle, and the waves beyond them. "You said you wanted to swim, didn't you?"

I would never call him enemy
He's the bad god I need

SUNJATA

the flood

'cause my life is like a bedroom door
don't lead me in when you feel low

Not just change. The words that follow it have his gaze snapped back toward the Ascended – hearing despite the softness of it with the earring that glints in his ear. ’Grow with you.’ Something he hadn’t really thought about entirely – never quite being a man that had much of a plan. Perhaps that changes now, with someone who wants to be a part of that plan. Who wants to build a home with, and subsequently Sunjata wonders if perhaps they should find a new place – a place just for them and Melita and Clem when they come to stay.

A place away from governor’s homes, despite how much he had loved that house by the lighthouse. There were others… And within the walls of the first home, so many memories of Maea that perhaps lingers some guilt within Sunjata’s heart at it. A last argument of Nate not being in their bed and yet… And yet.

Look at it now.

Perhaps there’s that flash of understanding that crosses his face with it, but it’s enough that with the way Nate keeps him from shying away, those electric eyes and warm, bright smile crossing the Ascended’s face traps him in it. And he stays. He stays. Giving into the kiss that’s a promise, an agreement that Sunjata can’t quite understand the depths of just yet – not until the first argument, another leash of that Korofian enforcer within him slipping through, not until something else happens because Caido never quite left them all alone, did they?

So he takes it for what it’s worth, clutching onto him as if he might fade away as soon as he lets go – fingers in hair, a promise of being unable to wait, but also.. Another swift realization that Nate wouldn’t age – still young and vibrant where Sunjata would grow older, wrinkled, salt and pepper hair that flicks through the dark waves and the stubble on his face. But that’s too sad of a thought to dwell on, whether Nate would stay while Sunjata grew old.

He focuses on the now.

The now, being that Nate goes to sit up after a squeeze of a hug around broad tattooed shoulders. And Sunjata follows suit, a quiet huff of a sound leaving him, a bone in his spine popping with the movement as he reaches up to rub at his neck and follow Nate’s gaze back toward the turtles and the water edged in a glimmering bioluminescence. Nate’s question hits him as he tilts his head back over toward the Ascended, reaching out to snake his hand around the snake that’s tattooed to his arm. “I did.” He agrees with a small hum. “So if you plan on using the shift, do it like you do with your hands but just try to imagine half of you.” A raise of his brow to that, going to move to stand and grab the shorts that would shift and disappear when he does partial shift.

And once he’s together, a hand ran through the waves of his hair, he tugs Nate along toward the chill of the water, goosebumps rising along his skin as the cold reaches the heated skin of the attuned, and when he gets far enough in with his practiced strokes, he partially shifts like he had before – hips shifting to that orca tail, turning back toward Nate with a playful smirk crossing his face.

'cause i might make a move

- NATE -

Got my own monster
Nobody but me

It was impossible to tell how much they were really on the same wavelength, would be impossible to tell until time passed, until the next disagreement, the next hardship. Though the talk had been brief, hardly anything said between the two of them, Nate felt settled, found it easier to relax into what they were doing together, what they were building. Easier to not second guess himself, to not worry about pushing too far too fast.

There's a wide grin on Nate's face as he feels the other man rise after him, the hand on his arm, running over inked skin drawing his bright gaze back to the attuned, the advice about shifting met with an eyeroll as he rose. "I think I can manage." Came the cocky assurance, Nate's arms crossing as he waited for Sunjata, the impatient show somewhat ruined by the languid way his eyes roamed over the long expanse of skin the other man had on display. There was no attempt to grab his own bottoms, not yet at least. Judging by the way this particular island had been lingering outside their window the last few days, he didn't think he'd lose anything. And if he did, well, that was a problem for the future.

Some deep part of Nate, the part that's an older brother and therefore has to win, has him running towards the surf at the tug, stepping into it a moment before the other man does and lifting both his hands in victory. It's short lived though, Sunjata is by far a stronger swimmer than he is, and it's only by the virtue of being breathless and tireless that he manages to keep up at all. Shifting his hands into claws feels like it makes sense, feels like a natural extension, but shifting his legs into a fin takes far, far more concentration for Nate. Something intentional to it, like it needed real thought and not just intention, for whatever reason.

It's the first time Nate has shifted so much, and there's something a little nervous in the grin he aims back at Sunjata, despite his earlier confidence. "This is... different." Nate offers lightly, trying to let his body move how it wants, how the instincts he doesn't really have are telling him to.

I would never call him enemy
He's the bad god I need

SUNJATA

the flood

'cause my life is like a bedroom door
don't lead me in when you feel low

The cocky assurance from Nate is returned with a playful roll of Sunjata’s eyes, though his lips do quirk with the smirk for it. “We’ll see about that.” Amusement lingers within him at it, a playful fanged grin shot back at the Ascended before he’s moving – tugging Nate along only to have it become some sort of race. A feline smirk crosses his face as Nate subsequently wins the foot race, though Sunjata imagines he might win the swimming one.

He hadn’t been thrown into a raging river of flood waters as a child to lose now, had he? It was probably one of the most practiced things he could do – the motions of swimming coming second nature and natural as can be – added and benefited with the helpful instincts of his orca shift. But the water reaches him, goosebumps rising along his skin, his partial shift growing to cover up to his hips, and he turns back to Nate to see how he’s doing – spotting the nervous grin and hidden confidence before Sunjata slips back toward Nate.

“It is. But gods is it nice.” He retorts, flattening out a small amount, the underside of his fin pale white in the moonlight flicking up as he slows beside Nate – arms coming to settle around the Ascended with a small hidden smirk – pausing the hips that have become soft and smooth beneath calloused fingers – he wonders if Nate might feel what he felt, or if the sensation remains deadened even with the Attuned shifting.

Hands slip up a small amount, Sunjata rounding out to settle in the water behind Nate – ensuring the Ascended stays afloat while he gets used to the fin, leaning forward into him a bit to press a kiss to Nate’s shoulder, one that trails up to the shell of Nate’s ear. “Go on. Try it out.”

'cause i might make a move

- NATE -

Got my own monster
Nobody but me

A soft laugh bubbles out of Nate at the smooth retort from Sunjata, his own experience so far more struggling than nice. More bobbing in the waves like an abandoned bottle than the easy approach of the attuned, though he's quick to lean back into the hands that come around him. "Well you make it look easy." Nate tips his head so he can actually look into the steely eyes of the other man, so his smile softens the blow of his complaint.

Ironically, it gets easier the more distracted he is from it. The less Nate can actually think about how to move the fin, how to swim with it, the more he can just move, just swim. And there's nothing more distracting than Sunjata's lips on him, his body behind him. A low sigh heaves out of Nate when the attuned urges him on though, has him shifting, urging himself on.

It is not graceful. As soon as he's back in his head, Nate struggles again, no easy flow or gentle kick of the fin. He flops forward, tail coming up behind him with a spray of water, a loud slap on the surface, and then he's sinking, half mortified and half dying of laughter, because even he can tell that should have hurt. Underwater is where it clicks properly. Maybe it's being fully immersed in the space meant for the shift, maybe it's just the sudden lack of eyes on him, but the motions of the tail come easier. Nate takes a long moment to really get his fins under him, then surges at Sunjata, breaching the surface with a whoop before colliding with the other man, arms wrapping around him excitedly.

I would never call him enemy
He's the bad god I need

SUNJATA

the flood

'cause my life is like a bedroom door
don't lead me in when you feel low

Nate leans back into the hands Sunjata has settled around the other, and with the head that tips back, resting against Sunjata’s collarbone as they bob in the water, Sunjata can’t help but to hum a bit of laugh back at the whine. “Of course I make it look easy. I’ve done it for… Shit, twenty-one years?” He muses, a smirk to that and not giving into the darker thoughts of nearly drowning that accompany it. So instead, he hums to get Nate to test it out, encouraging and settling in the water, where the cold water sets in where Nate had just been as the Ascended does try it.

And honestly, Sunjata has seen worse, though albeit not by much. But his steel gaze remains on Nate until the Ascended disappears beneath the waves with a loud slap of a tailfin against the waves. A moment of concern, though knowing it probably wouldn’t matter that much. Nate couldn’t drown at least. And so he settles, sure that Nate will figure it out, but giving it a bit of time before he goes searching.

Turns out he doesn’t have to, not as the sudden hint of pale tattooed skin beneath the surface breaks the tension and collides with him – sending Sunjata back into the water as he desperately tries to grasp onto Nate and grab a mouthful of air before the water covers his face and ears and everywhere. Body to body, Sunjata’s practiced as his arm loops around the Ascended, pulling himself back to the surface and shaking out his head and a bit of water with a huff of laughter. “Ah, a little warning would be nice skatjie.” He feigns some hurt with it, letting Nate go to swim in an easy circle around the Ascended, the strokes practiced and familiar as his shifts were, before he stops in front of Nate, pulling away a small amount to flap the fin and splash the Ascended with his tail before he dives under.

'cause i might make a move

- NATE -

Got my own monster
Nobody but me

There is a moment where Nate can see a shadow flicker across Sunjata's face from his vantage point, and he reaches back to curl his fingers along the attuned's jaw, stroking gently. "Twenty one years is a long time to be part whale." He jokes, wide grin splitting his face before he pushes away to try and get used to moving in the water. Hopefully his words can be an extra layer of comfort, of humour, a life jacket in any waves of memories that might try to rise up.

Just because Nate had found some ease beneath the waves didn't mean he'd actually figured out what he was doing. His collision with Sunjata is much harder than he means --who knew it was so easy to pick up speed in the water?-- and he sends them both spiralling back into the waves. It takes a moment for him to remember that the other man does not have the same advantage of breathlessness as he does, that he is not fully shifted, but in the time it takes that worry to actually manifest, the other man has taken control of the situation. Nate's laughing before they even surface, and leaning in to bump his forehead to Sunjata's before he's released. "I'll keep it in mind for next time." He promises, craning his neck to keep the attuned in his sights.

It's only fair that he's splashed back, but it doesn't stop the noise of mock outrage when it happens, the moment of hesitation before Nate dives down after the other man. Though, unless Sunjata takes some pity on him, there is no way Nate is actually going to catch up. It does get him moving more smoothly, thoughts of the chase overriding his need to control how his unfamiliar bottom half moves.

I would never call him enemy
He's the bad god I need

SUNJATA

the flood

'cause my life is like a bedroom door
don't lead me in when you feel low

The distraction works, it causes an exasperated huff to leave the korofi, a roll of his eyes that’s tossed out with the grin that crosses his face afterwards. But that’s that, for the most part, as Nate gets used to the shift in the water and comes careening back into him – splashing him back into the water as he grapples for anything to hold onto. Nate’s the option, and Sunjata when he finally rises back to the surface, sputtering a small amount, focuses his steel gaze on the electricity of Nate’s own, a rogue smirk crossing his face at the promise.

He’s half tempted to call Nate a liar for it. So instead, he aims to try and give the Ascended a bit of his own medicine, a bit of a chance to see why Sunjata had taken to water, what getting tossed into a river at six years old and forced to learn or drown might do. The splash of a tail fin and a dive under water right when he hears the outrage slip from Nate has him nearly grinning through the water as he dives beneath. And that predator within him can tell that Nate chases him – that he’s on his tail so to speak. But Sunjata’s practiced, and he nearly stills in the water, diving in a half spin to turn back on Nate to try and tug him along to the surface again, an easy spin as he tries to get a breath of air.

“To give an answer to earlier…” He trails off, running a wet hand through his soaked hair, searching Nate’s face with those charming, rogue grins of his. “They did call me the Flood for a reason.” A wink shot toward Nate as he goes to reach out to Nate, to brush a loving hand against the Ascended’s neck.

'cause i might make a move

- NATE -

Got my own monster
Nobody but me

As it turns out, his earlier thought of never catching up to Sunjata is as painfully true in practice as it was in his head, but it quickly becomes the least of Nate's worries. The blurry shape ahead of him stops suddenly, faster than he could have assumed was possible, and shoots back towards him. Really, it's only fair, but that didn't mean Nate had expected the retribution to come so quickly, arms pulling him up towards the surface in a loose spiral.

Laughter leaves Nate while the other man pulls in a breath, his hands refusing to leave the attuned's body, fingers squeezing the border where the skin he now knows so well shifts into whale. He shakes his own head, flicking it back to coax dark strands out of his face again. "The Flood is one of those nicknames you can get for a lot of reasons, and... I mean this in the nicest way darling, but not one of them is great." Another bright laugh leaves him in response to the wink, his head tipping into the touch against his neck, lips trying to find the pulse in Sunjata's wrist and press against it.

I would never call him enemy
He's the bad god I need