Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
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And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed,
It sounded like something Weaver might say. Korbin jerked his shoulders up in a stiff shrug. "Is it? Sounds like a load of dung to me. What did I gain by never getting to know my parents? What good did it do me to lose my brother? I loved my sister before they left; I didn't need to watch her work herself to the bone for my sake to know that."
And it didn't change the fact that he became less with every family member that passed. Less open, less trusting, less generous.
The topic was painful, but Korbin's expression was blank, neutral. His eyes distant as he stared off into nothingness. He just looked... tired. A bone deep weariness that he was far too young to carry.
"Point is, Loren, you caring won't do me any favors. It won't get you anything. It really would be easier if you didn't try to help." His tone was listless and dull. There wasn't even irritation in it anymore, just... tiredness and old pain.
Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed.
Pressing his lips together, Loren sighed as his words had the opposite of their intended effect on Korbin. Then, impulsively, the healer scooted over and threw an arm over the hunter's shoulder. "Alright mopey." The Launceleyn's tone was teasing, and he reached up to ruffle the other man's hair.
Then, assuming Korbin didn't pull away, Loren would just hold the hunter gently. "And if everyone in Halo thought the way you did, then no one would've helped you when Weaver was injured." The healer's tone was soft. "And I know that's not what happened." Taking a deep breath, he smiled. "I might not know much. But I know that Halo has enough problems to deal with that we need to deal with them together. And that we shouldn't make more for each other."
Much more quietly, he added, "Also I'm not looking for favors. Or anything in return, really."
And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed,
It was something Erebor might have done. Or Weaver. That casual acceptance of his mood, and the same casual refusal to bend to it. He was so startled by the familiarity of it that Korbin didn't even think to shrug off the arm - though he did duck away from the hand that tousled his hair. He felt... awkward. Unusual. Like he wanted to cry, for some reason, which really wasn't going to happen.
The worst part was, that Loren was right. It was his views that were messed up. Why else would he hide them so deep down? Why else keep up the glib mask of laughing casualness whenever he went out among the people of Halo? They didn't deserve his bleak outlook on the world... so he didn't trouble them with it.
"What do you want then?" he asked, voice not entirely steady. Not quite relaxed or comfortable with having someone this close, but.. It was not like he was about to run either. Where would he go?
Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed.
Not pursuing Korbin as he evaded the hair ruffle, Loren just contented himself with keeping his arm around the hunter's shoulder. The healer didn't respond to the other man's question right away. Instead, the Launceleyn just hummed thoughtfully. Then he laughed a bit. "I just want to make a home here." He gave Korbin an almost embarrassed look.
"More than that, I want to be a part of the community. To earn that. Want to feel like...like I belong." Reaching up, Loren ran a hand through his hair. Unsurprisingly, his expression was sheepish, and the smile he turned on the hunter was similar. The healer knew how silly that sounded.
And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed,
Silly was a word for it. Ridiculous another. Impossible, some might say. Never going to happen. Except... in this moment, Korbin felt less sure about that than he usually did.
Maybe it was the arm around his shoulder that made him hesitate. Or the creeping cold. Or the mental exhaustion after too turbulent a day. How long had they been sitting here? How many hours since Korbin strangled a man to death? How long had he been a murderer..? It was rough to know he had been laughing and singing only hours afterwards. What kind of person did that make him?
"I guess," he replied slowly, "we'll see. If you survive Deepfrost. If you come back, when you've tasted the air beyond the portal again, after living through it. If you still want to call it home after seeing what it's like at its worst. Halo. And the people."
The long, bitter cold and the isolation did more to people than bore them.
Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed.
As Korbin spoke, Loren couldn't help but grin. "It's a deal." Then he let out a huff of laughter. "And if it's worse than what I've already seen in my life, you are more than welcome to tell me 'I told you so.'" He was clearly amused by something, though it was a quiet sort of amusement.
Glancing outside, he sighed when he realized that he still couldn't tell if the storm had abated that much. Glancing at the hunter, the healer's expression grew curious. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you become an Attuned?" It wasn't something he'd asked many Attuned, but they might as well use whatever time they were trapped here to get to know one another.
And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed,
He picked up on the amusement, and cocked a brow at it. "What, Halo isn't already the worst you've seen?" Not that he thought of it as a horrible place. Harsh, yes, and dangerous... but oh, so beautiful. Stark and fierce and merciless... Just the way Korbin liked things.
Freeing himself from Loren's arm, if the man hadn't already withdrawn, Korbin stood up. Stretched, twisting about until his spine popped; he felt no soreness after the fight, which was rather anticlimactic. He went over to the opening, and peered outside. It was still completely white, though the wind had died down marginally.
"I don't mind. I was... very young. Mom was still around, and dad. Five, maybe six years old? I remember I couldn't sleep, so I got dressed and went outside. Strolled through the empty streets... I fell asleep by the shrine, and there was a voice that spoke to me."
He frowned softly, and turned back. Leaned against the ice, hands tucked into the generous pockets of his overcoat.
"Can't remember what was said. But I flew home. And the others found a raven in my bed, instead of a kid." He huffed a little laugh in amusement. "As I recall, they were a bit surprised."
It wasn't much of a story, and he was in no mood to embellish it. Could have woven a grand tale for Loren's benefit... but not today.
"What about you? You're attuned, but you've got magic too. How did that happen? I thought that sort of thing was impossible."
He looked a bit... not envious perhaps, but wistful. Korbin always wished he had the same kind of gifts as Erebor and Weaver. And Straia. Being the odd bird out wasn't all that fun, even if he wouldn't give up the flying for anything.
Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed.
Loren snorted. "Nah. Far from it." Giving Korbin a wry look, the healer shook his head a bit. "That honor goes to my family compound." Strangely enough, it actually felt good to joke about it. He was slowly, but surely, making his peace with his past.
As the hunter got up, the Launceleyn let the other man, making no move to follow. Loren nodded along as Korbin explained how he'd become an Attuned. However, the healer's brow furrowed a bit at the end of it. "That's young. Any idea which god did it?" He found himself quite curious to know which of the old gods would Attune a child, but wouldn't press the issue.
As the hunter asked how the Launceleyn had both magic and shifts, he laughed. "Ah, well, that's Frey's fault." He finally stood up, doing his own series of stretches. "I've had magic since I was five, though it was different, since I wasn't on Caido. I still had it when I was brought here though." Rolling his neck, he paused to meet the other man's eyes. "I'd already met them a few times, wonder of wonders. This Flowerbirth, they answered me again. I...asked them to make me stronger. Make me more." Loren's expression had grown distant, though his tone was incredibly fond.
"They tested me. Asked if I would fight, or flee. I said fight, so they pumped me full of terror. I was more scared than I'd ever been in my life. Probably more scared than I ever will be. But I fought through the fear. And in exchange, they Attuned me, even though I was an Abandoned. Blessed me, even though I was unworthy." It was clear from the look of wonder on his face, and the hushed tones in which he spoke that he still couldn't quite believe it. And that, despite the terror, he wouldn't have it any other way.
And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed,
"Huh. That must have been a magnificently shitty place then," he responded. Only half joking; the tilt of his head and the silence was an invitation to keep talking if Loren felt inclined to, but Korbin wouldn't push. Or even ask; some things had to come freely or they didn't mean anything.
"Mhm. I've no idea. Don't think it matters much... I wouldn't change it if I could. Maybe it was one of the Old ones. Maybe it was Eirachi... who knows." Perhaps he would recognize the voice if he heard it again.
All he knew for sure was that it hadn't been one of the Heralds, since they had been absent from the world for centuries. Until just recently. So he listened with quite a bit of interest as Loren related the events, trying to recall what he knew about Frey. Not much, as it turned out. Rae's Herold, a nature god... that was it.
"Why would having magic make you unworthy?" he asked. "I mean, it's not like it's a bad thing... nothing to brag about maybe, but..." He cocked his head aside in a questioning manner. "It seems to have worked, at least. That dragon... it was you who made it show up, wasn't it?"
He shuddered at the mere memory of it. The roar, the overwhelming power it exuded... It had been quite something to see.
Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed.
"You have no idea." Loren's voice came out in a wry drawl. Then he laughed. "Because I haven't told you. To make a long story short, it's where they tried to turn me into a child soldier." His lips twitched as he looked at Korbin almost expectantly. The hunter had to have more questions than that.
"Fair enough." Nodding, the healer just smiled at the other man. Not knowing what god it was wouldn't kill the Launceleyn.
However, he had to blink in surprise when Korbin asked why having magic mattered. "Because the gods don't like the Abandoned?" Loren was incredibly confused, because he'd genuinely thought everyone knew that.
At the mention of the dragon, he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, that was me. One of the uh, special animals I can summon, I suppose you'd say." He grinned faintly. "I try not to use it too much since it...tends to leave quite the impression." Finding he couldn't quite meet the hunter's eyes, the healer sighed.
And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed,
"Aah, that would explain the dislike, I imagine." Was he supposed to ask more? Korbin didn't really see what else there was to add. Except gritty details that would make the mood even more miserable than it was. He didn't need to hear any of it to sympathise... though he made sure not to let it show - or be felt - that he did feel compassion for the man. He was trying hard to ignore the sentiment.
"Yes, I know. But why would that make you 'unworthy'? Clearly Frey thought you had some worth, or they wouldn't have helped you. Dragging yourself is a bad habit, you should get rid of it." He regarded Loren with a thoughtful expression. "Is it a remnant of that childhood, perhaps?"
It puzzled him that Loren would be embarrassed about holding the power he had asked for. "Depends on what impression you want to make, I guess. Still, that's quite something. Summoning dragons... Now that's the kind of thing a Warden of Halo should be able to do," he teased. Rather interested in seeing how Loren would take that little jab.
Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed.
Letting out a huff of laughter, Loren nodded. "That it would." He gave Korbin a wry look. "In my old world my family was...we were under a magical oath. A curse really, not that most of them saw it that way." Shrugging, the healer smiled sadly. "It made them act in pretty destructive ways. Especially towards one another." Despite the hint of sorrow, he was proud that he was mostly able to recount his troubles in a mostly neutral tone.
Shaking his head a bit, his expression grew confused once again. "I'm not dragging myself." It came out a bit insistently. "The old gods don't like the Abandoned because the Voice used to be one, and the Voice doesn't like them for the same reason. Neither of them want a new god to show up." Then he gave the hunter a chagrined look. "Trust me. You'll know when I'm being self-deprecating. I'm quite, quite good at it."
The Launceleyn shrugged. "As for Frey...I don't know what to make of them really. They've called me boring and said I'm not exciting in the slightest but...objectively they've been good to me. They blessed me, healed my broken heart, even given me second chances after I failed them." Strangely, he found himself smiling. "And I think they're good for me, even if they can't stand me." He let out a huff of laughter.
Giving the other man a quizzical look, Loren pressed his lips together. "Maybe. But Neron has more than a few tricks up his sleeves. Underestimate him at your peril." He tilted his head to one side. "What can you tell me about previous Wardens?"
And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed,
"You don't have to talk about it, if you'd rather not," Korbin said, perhaps a bit more softly than intended. Destructive ways and child soldiers... it was a different kind of harsh to what he knew. The only one who would mistreat the people of Halo was Halo itself.
He shrugged when Loren countered him. "I can't say I really care for that line of thinking," he said. "Most of my family have magic, I don't see that it makes them better or worse than anyone who doesn't. Let the gods think what they want." He sighed a bit then. "I supppse there's no chance of them doing the opposite then... I'd give a great deal to have magic myself." Always wanted it... But how could he say that when was supposed to be blessed already?
"Boring? Okay... Your god sounds fairly stuck up to me. In what way are you boring to them?" He blinked slowly. So far he didn't know that 'boring' was the right word to describe Loren. Overly self concious perhaps, too serious... But there was enough questions and contradictions that anyone could be entertained for days trying to puzzle the man out.
Not that he was interested in doing so.
"There haven't been any," he replied, scowling down at the ground. "Everyone knows what to do already, there's no need for one. The elders maybe held council at times when major decisions had to be made, but that was the extent of it."
Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed.
Laughing faintly, Loren shrugged. "It's alright." Slipping his hands into his pockets, he went to lean against a cavern wall. "Generations ago, in a different world, my family bound ourselves to the royal family of our land, with blood and magic. We swore an oath, passed down to every magical child of the Launceleyn name, to always obey a member of the royal family and to never harm one of royal blood. Even unintentionally. If we did, the oath would strike us down where we stood." It came out in the practiced cadence of one who had told this story many times.
Snorting, he shook his head at Korbin's description of Frey. "Frey is anything but stuck up." Shrugging, the healer gave the hunter a slightly amused look. "I'm too serious for them, and I worry too much about what might be. They're a nature god, mostly of sex and abundance I suppose you'd say, very much focused on the present and on pleasure and I am...well, hardly someone who indulges himself."
It was an incomplete picture of the deity and he sighed, annoyed at his own inability to describe them. "But I like that they remind me not to take myself to seriously. That it's okay to have fun and let loose every now and then. Healthy, even." Strange as it was to say, he honestly believed that.
Humming thoughtfully, he found himself grinning. "Let me guess. Nobody asked him, and he just came waltzing in here and made serious changes?" It was a familiar tale and he had to chuckle to find himself in this situation once again.
