my held breath fills the room with blood
hurting in ways I can't describe
She trails in like a wraith, a single lantern held within her hands. Dark bruises are pressed beneath her tired eyes, and her normally loose and flowing hair is knotted atop her crown. Each step feels like an uphill battle, and the gathered crowd only makes her feel sick. Still she does not let herself falter. This is one of the last things she can do for her son, and Hotaru will not allow herself to fail.
Her hands tremble against the lantern as she holds it, but her gaze is steady if perhaps a bit deadened as it stares ahead. Ignoring all the familiar faces around her she instead seeks out an empty branch, and takes a moment as she stands beneath the darkened boughs to stare down at what she has made. A beautiful collage of coppers and blues, a lovingly crafted glass enclosure and the lightning scorch marks her magic had left on the metal portions. Decorated with bones, shells, and other beautiful things she'd managed to find in nature to reflect Ru'in's soul. It is cold in her palms, because for all it may represent him, it is not her son. She will never be able to lay her hand upon his warm cheek, will never even know firsthand what he had looked like in this world.
Tears slide down her face despite her unblinking, vapid facade. Gentle fingertips trace the whirls of copper embedded in the glass, wishing she could have changed things. "I will always love you, my son." Her voice is a wretched whisper, eyes finally falling closed, lashes dripping with her tears as she fights to keep her composure among these many eyes. "Until the Gods let us meet again."' And she can't even say it confidently, for his soul is still lost and suffering, and Hotaru is not strong enough to reclaim it. A failure of a mother.
Lifting the lantern she hangs it upon the sturdiest branch she can find, the light within flickering warmly. She stares up at it somberly, wrapping her arms around herself in silent vigil. Unable to celebrate his memory when she feels the loss so keenly still.
Her hands tremble against the lantern as she holds it, but her gaze is steady if perhaps a bit deadened as it stares ahead. Ignoring all the familiar faces around her she instead seeks out an empty branch, and takes a moment as she stands beneath the darkened boughs to stare down at what she has made. A beautiful collage of coppers and blues, a lovingly crafted glass enclosure and the lightning scorch marks her magic had left on the metal portions. Decorated with bones, shells, and other beautiful things she'd managed to find in nature to reflect Ru'in's soul. It is cold in her palms, because for all it may represent him, it is not her son. She will never be able to lay her hand upon his warm cheek, will never even know firsthand what he had looked like in this world.
Tears slide down her face despite her unblinking, vapid facade. Gentle fingertips trace the whirls of copper embedded in the glass, wishing she could have changed things. "I will always love you, my son." Her voice is a wretched whisper, eyes finally falling closed, lashes dripping with her tears as she fights to keep her composure among these many eyes. "Until the Gods let us meet again."' And she can't even say it confidently, for his soul is still lost and suffering, and Hotaru is not strong enough to reclaim it. A failure of a mother.
Lifting the lantern she hangs it upon the sturdiest branch she can find, the light within flickering warmly. She stares up at it somberly, wrapping her arms around herself in silent vigil. Unable to celebrate his memory when she feels the loss so keenly still.
my heart bends and breaks
so many, many times
HOTARU
